well i used some cream heavy clear watermarked paper from my grahpic designer exgirlfriend. turned out okay, and i just copied a bunch of phrases that helped me "speak the corporate language" onto the resume. Like "highly efficient and experienced in implementing new procedures and working as a team!"
i went in to apply for this clerical accounting position, and got offered a "project manager" position. they said it has better pay, and is a better job. Thank you for the helpful insight in your replies.