God why didn't I have the balls to do it..

[z0mb13]

Originally posted by: tk109
Buy their dinner? Man that's just screams desperate weirdo. You dont need to buy them off. In fact it would probably just give them a good story to laugh at around the table some day. If you have enough social sense you dont need to be buying people things. You just impress them or get them hooked with the conversation or wit or whatever. And that's enough. If they aren't interested in being friends because of your personality then they wont want to be friends and you shouldn't be friends anyway. It's a nice thing to do sure... but you wont get much respect out of it.

well I thought if I did that then the girl would be at least flattered. If someone did the same thing to you, wouldn't you at least fell happy/flattered?

Trust me I dont waste money on other people.. I even consider myself quite frugal. but given the circumstances I thought it was appropriate. and all I had to lose was maybe around $35

 

[Ronstang]

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: KarmaPolice
I could never done that...unless I was very drunk. Its not that i dont have the balls...its just not my personality...dont fight what u are.

yes I dont have a very outgoing personality as well, but I am trying to change that..

I hope when I encounter this situation again I will be able to do it

There is NOTHING to lose by having an outgoing personality....since when you are a quite shut in you have NOTHING to begin with....You can only WIN by changing. Don't be afraid to falll, just have the courage to get back up and learn from your mistakes.

 

[z0mb13]

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: KarmaPolice
I could never done that...unless I was very drunk. Its not that i dont have the balls...its just not my personality...dont fight what u are.

yes I dont have a very outgoing personality as well, but I am trying to change that..

I hope when I encounter this situation again I will be able to do it

There is NOTHING to lose by having an outgoing personality....since when you are a quite shut in you have NOTHING to begin with....You can only WIN by changing. Don't be afraid to falll, just have the courage to get back up and learn from your mistakes.

Thank you for your advice. I will definitely heed your advice.. heck we all learn from failures, right?

 

[z0mb13]

By the way Ronstang, the reason why there are so many asians is because we have this thing called arranged marriage

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Ronstang
I amazes me there are so many Asians in the world considering so many of the guys have no game at all.

LMAO:laugh:

LOL that was funny

so Ronstang, what would u have done?

What I would have done was said "I've got to get out of here... I have groceries in car. It was a pleasire talking to you. Did you want to meet up for [insert random food] sometime to continue the convo?"

Even better, tell her you have to leave because you're meeting people. And I might string her along instead of just asking if she wants to do something. More like "we have so much to talk about, it's a shame I've got to go meet my friends." If she's really into you she'll get the hint. If she doesn't get it, then lay it out. Plus, if you can make it seem like it was HER idea to get together, she'll automatically up her own interest and be less likely to flake on you later.

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
By the way Ronstang, the reason why there are so many asians is because we have this thing called arranged marriage

Thank god for arranged marriage or I will never get married

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Ronstang
I amazes me there are so many Asians in the world considering so many of the guys have no game at all.

LMAO:laugh:

LOL that was funny

so Ronstang, what would u have done?

What I would have done was said "I've got to get out of here... I have groceries in car. It was a pleasire talking to you. Did you want to meet up for [insert random food] sometime to continue the convo?"

Even better, tell her you have to leave because you're meeting people. And I might string her along instead of just asking if she wants to do something. More like "we have so much to talk about, it's a shame I've got to go meet my friends." If she's really into you she'll get the hint. If she doesn't get it, then lay it out. Plus, if you can make it seem like it was HER idea to get together, she'll automatically up her own interest and be less likely to flake on you later.

I would say that's a bad idea for three reasons.

1. He has groceries in the car. (I think)
2. If she says "yes" expecting friends and no friends show up... what is she going to think?
3. Would a girl want to be in a social setting with a guy she just met?

 

[Ronstang]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
Thank you for your advice. I will definitely heed your advice.. heck we all learn from failures, right?

If you don't learn from your failures then that is when you have the real problem....not the failing. If you don't make mistakes then you spend all your time in your "confort zone" of knowledge and you do not progress. You have to make mistakes to learn. A lesson learned from from doing something wrong stays with you for life and changes you a little each time you make a mistake. Never be afraid to fail, you should be much more afraid of NOT TRYING.

A wise older gentleman friend of mine is a machinist. He is teaching me so I can make even neater parts for my cars. He always tells me that if you AREN"T BREAKING THINGS YOU AREN"T LEARNING......and that is very sage advice.

 

[z0mb13]

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Ronstang
I amazes me there are so many Asians in the world considering so many of the guys have no game at all.

LMAO:laugh:

LOL that was funny

so Ronstang, what would u have done?

What I would have done was said "I've got to get out of here... I have groceries in car. It was a pleasire talking to you. Did you want to meet up for [insert random food] sometime to continue the convo?"

Even better, tell her you have to leave because you're meeting people. And I might string her along instead of just asking if she wants to do something. More like "we have so much to talk about, it's a shame I've got to go meet my friends." If she's really into you she'll get the hint. If she doesn't get it, then lay it out. Plus, if you can make it seem like it was HER idea to get together, she'll automatically up her own interest and be less likely to flake on you later.

I would say that's a bad idea for three reasons.

1. He has groceries in the car. (I think)
2. If she says "yes" expecting friends and no friends show up... what is she going to think?
3. Would a girl want to be in a social setting with a guy she just met?

if the above scenario pans out, what woudlve happened is the girl would ask for my phone number, or she would give her number to me.. obviously she wouldnt go out with me right then

 

[Descartes]

I agree with many of the others. Buying dinner for someone that you don't know is inappropriate, and it puts them in a weird position. At least when you buy a girl a drink you usually ask first. Simply buying something for someone elicits feelings of reciprocity, and this is an awkward position for most people, especially women. You're forcing them into obligation even if you say there is none.

The "Oh, that's why you speak such good Mandarin" was a little creepy too, imo. It's too obviously trying to flatter. Compliments should be more subtle.

 

[Compton]

Originally posted by: bennylong
Thank god for arranged marriage or I will never get married

I thought that you were completely against marriage anyway?

 

[CarlKillerMiller]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
I went to this vietnamese restaurant by myself to grab dinner after doing some groceries. Since the restaurant was packed, these 3 other people were seated right next to me with only a small divider in the middle. They were 2 girls and 1 guy. I think the girls are sisters and the guy is dating the older sister. These girls were cute! I noticed them speaking english and mandarin, so I tried to struck up a conversation with them asking where they are from.. and they said they are originally from Taiwan.. so I said that is why your Mandarin is so nice..

Then I thought to myself, I should pay for these people's dinner and leave a business card, and tell them I think you are cute and I would like to get to know you better, but alas I didnt do it.. it took balls to do it and I didnt have it at the time..

anyone got a cure for lack of balls-itis?

That's just...wow. I can't even go into how lame that is. If you think that any of those girls would think that to be "sweet" and you as a "nice guy", you are sorely, sorely mistaken.

 

[z0mb13]

Can we get female input in this thread?

 

[Mo0o]

Why would you pay for dinner for 3 people, that doesn't make any sense at all, you're not trying to date all 3 of them. There wasn't much you could do but Then I thought to myself, I should pay for these people's dinner and leave a business card, and tell them I think you are cute and I would like to get to know you better, but alas I didnt do it.. it took balls to do it and I didnt have it at the time.. definitely doesn't seem like teh right move. I think if anything you should have just :

1. paid for your own food after you finished eating,
2. say "it was great talking to you guys"
3. give the single girl your number
4. then say "gimme a call and maybe we can have dinner again."

Being the overflatterer just comes off as dopey in my opinion.

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
I went to this vietnamese restaurant by myself to grab dinner after doing some groceries. Since the restaurant was packed, these 3 other people were seated right next to me with only a small divider in the middle. They were 2 girls and 1 guy. I think the girls are sisters and the guy is dating the older sister. These girls were cute! I noticed them speaking english and mandarin, so I tried to struck up a conversation with them asking where they are from.. and they said they are originally from Taiwan.. so I said that is why your Mandarin is so nice..

Then I thought to myself, I should pay for these people's dinner and leave a business card, and tell them I think you are cute and I would like to get to know you better, but alas I didnt do it.. it took balls to do it and I didnt have it at the time..

anyone got a cure for lack of balls-itis?

I don't understand why this situation would make it "not weird" for you to strike up a conversation with them. It's a vietnamese restuarunt, probably a place that serves pho. Those restuarants attract mainly asian people, am I wrong? They're usually wither vietnamese, chinese (speaking cantonese or mandarin), or korean, and they all probably know a bit of english.

Personally, I think it would be weird. I think if you would have picked up their tab and did what you wanted to do, you and the other table would go their separate ways at the end of the night and they would end up talking about you saying "WTF, omg, that guy was soo weird."

 

[gunblade]

I thought you were leaving the states.

Anyway, I was having similar experience before too.

 

[z0mb13]

Originally posted by: gunblade
I thought you were leaving the states.

Anyway, I was having similar experience before too.

yes I am but thats still in a couple of months

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: z0mb13

Originally posted by: S Freud

Originally posted by: Ronstang
I amazes me there are so many Asians in the world considering so many of the guys have no game at all.

LMAO:laugh:

LOL that was funny

so Ronstang, what would u have done?

What I would have done was said "I've got to get out of here... I have groceries in car. It was a pleasire talking to you. Did you want to meet up for [insert random food] sometime to continue the convo?"

Even better, tell her you have to leave because you're meeting people. And I might string her along instead of just asking if she wants to do something. More like "we have so much to talk about, it's a shame I've got to go meet my friends." If she's really into you she'll get the hint. If she doesn't get it, then lay it out. Plus, if you can make it seem like it was HER idea to get together, she'll automatically up her own interest and be less likely to flake on you later.

I would say that's a bad idea for three reasons.

1. He has groceries in the car. (I think)
2. If she says "yes" expecting friends and no friends show up... what is she going to think?
3. Would a girl want to be in a social setting with a guy she just met?

No, you misunderstand. I assumed he wanted a later date, not just a location change, in which case I understand your points. He's leaving, she's not (she's with her sister and her BF... good luck convincing the sister to let her leave with you), so whether he is or isn't meeting people is a non-issue because they're not going with him (and I wouldn't expect someone you JUST met to suddenly ask to tag along). If they DO try and tag along, just tell them it's a guys night thing or some sh1t. It doesn't matter really. It's simply a social proof thing. By saying he's meeting friends it makes him look desirable. Just saying you've got groceries in your car implies "I'm just going home now to put my groceries away."

If she says "yes" as in "ya I'd like to talk more" either she's going to offer her digits, or you're going to ask for them. At this time you'd also want to suggest a time and place. When you make a time commitment in person, she's going to invest more interest in it than if you called her later and made the same suggestion.

 

[z0mb13]

poll added!

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: Compton

Originally posted by: bennylong
Thank god for arranged marriage or I will never get married

I thought that you were completely against marriage anyway?

I'm against marriage to Western and Career women.

 

[Ronstang]

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: Compton

Originally posted by: bennylong
Thank god for arranged marriage or I will never get married

I thought that you were completely against marriage anyway?

I'm against marriage to Western and Career women.

Don't worry, based on your posts here you won't have to worry about attracting either type.

 

[Baked]

Man, you'd look super creepy if you offered to pay their check.

 

[Yossarian]

this is a horrible idea.

 

[AbAbber2k]

I can't believe people actually support this idea. The business card thing is tacky, overdone and LAME. Paying for someone's MEAL is creepy, stinks of desperation and is also LAME. You might as well just introduce yourself to women as "Human Doormat."

 

[bennylong]

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: bennylong

Originally posted by: Compton

Originally posted by: bennylong
Thank god for arranged marriage or I will never get married

I thought that you were completely against marriage anyway?

I'm against marriage to Western and Career women.

Don't worry, based on your posts here you won't have to worry about attracting either type.

Thank god