- May 18, 2001
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I wonder how much it would cost to install an automated machine gun nest on my land?
Recently I spent a considerable amount of money buying the combination of house and wooded land that I consider to be Heaven on earth. I don't want people around for the simple reason that if a man gets the itch, he ought to be able to saw down trees naked on his own land without having to wonder if Strange Neighbor Bob is taping the whole affair while chopping his own wood. My property is almost completely secluded, and other than one remote neighbor that we never see we are completely by ourselves...
...until hunting season.
Now I can understand if people might think our road is public access; it looks just like any other county road. The fact remains that I own 100% of the road, it is completely private, and there is nobody I want on it other than Santa Claus and my own invited guests. It is for that very reason that I posted on both sides of the road's entrance highly visible signs: "Private Road - Enter by Invitation Only."
I guess reading isn't a highly prized skill among the local hunters. I may have to shoot a couple of them, hang their carcasses, and underline the words on my signs with their steamy fresh entrails just to add some emphasis. I was walking out of my woods Saturday as one of them was driving up my road. As I made an angry bee-line towards him, he gave me a friendly wave, then immediately did a u-turn into my grass and got the Hell out of there. He must have correctly guessed that if I had reached his truck in time, I wasn't going to whisper pretty little love words in his ear.
He wasn't the first, and I doubt that he will be the last. I don't want my woods full of bumbletards shooting everything that moves, including me, my wife, my dog, my house, my vehicles, and especially my wildlife. If for no other reason, these self-proclaimed "nature lovers" always leave behind their cigarette butts, beer cans, and they tend to burn down everything within reach. If they want, they can feel free to go to any of the local public forests and unload on each other with both my blessing and encouragement. Heck, I might even go take a few potshots at them just to vent a little steam.
I wonder if roaming packs of trained attack wolves might keep them out?
Recently I spent a considerable amount of money buying the combination of house and wooded land that I consider to be Heaven on earth. I don't want people around for the simple reason that if a man gets the itch, he ought to be able to saw down trees naked on his own land without having to wonder if Strange Neighbor Bob is taping the whole affair while chopping his own wood. My property is almost completely secluded, and other than one remote neighbor that we never see we are completely by ourselves...
...until hunting season.
Now I can understand if people might think our road is public access; it looks just like any other county road. The fact remains that I own 100% of the road, it is completely private, and there is nobody I want on it other than Santa Claus and my own invited guests. It is for that very reason that I posted on both sides of the road's entrance highly visible signs: "Private Road - Enter by Invitation Only."
I guess reading isn't a highly prized skill among the local hunters. I may have to shoot a couple of them, hang their carcasses, and underline the words on my signs with their steamy fresh entrails just to add some emphasis. I was walking out of my woods Saturday as one of them was driving up my road. As I made an angry bee-line towards him, he gave me a friendly wave, then immediately did a u-turn into my grass and got the Hell out of there. He must have correctly guessed that if I had reached his truck in time, I wasn't going to whisper pretty little love words in his ear.
He wasn't the first, and I doubt that he will be the last. I don't want my woods full of bumbletards shooting everything that moves, including me, my wife, my dog, my house, my vehicles, and especially my wildlife. If for no other reason, these self-proclaimed "nature lovers" always leave behind their cigarette butts, beer cans, and they tend to burn down everything within reach. If they want, they can feel free to go to any of the local public forests and unload on each other with both my blessing and encouragement. Heck, I might even go take a few potshots at them just to vent a little steam.
I wonder if roaming packs of trained attack wolves might keep them out?
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