Global Warming kills the Loch Ness Monster

[Queasy]

Link

LEGENDARY Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years.

The 85-year-old American will make one last trip in a bid to find the elusive beast.

After almost four decades of fruitless expeditions, he admitted: "Unfortunately, I'm running out of age."

World War II veteran Robert has devoted almost half his life to scouring Loch Ness.

He started in 1971. The following year, he watched a 25ft-long hump with the texture of elephant skin gliding through the water.

His original trip was to help another monster hunter with sonar equipment and quickly identified large moving targets.

He was smitten and returned the next year, which is when, he says: "I had the misfortune of seeing one of these things with my own eyes."

Since then, he has been obsessed with tracking down the creature with a staggering array of hi-tech equipment. It was this gear that took the famous "flipper" picture that year which created a stir around the world.

Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.

He still wants to check almost 100 contacts on the floor of the loch, believing one may be the monster's remains.

Robert bought a cottage on the banks of the loch to live in during his annual summer trips.

He has also set up a "Nessie" room in his Boston home crammed with information gathered over the years. As he prepared for his last hunt, Robert said: "What am I to do - forget what I saw? There are a lot of eyewitness accounts. Are they all liars? All drunks? I don't believe human nature is like that.

"What disturbs me as a lawyer is that we prove cases by eyewitness testimony. The human brain is not 100 per cent accurate but it's not zero either."

In 1975, the trained physicist and inventor managed to get a photograph in the murky waters of the loch which apparently showed the body, flipper, neck and head of an animal.

Since Nessie hunting began in the 1930s, a host of people have tried to find the monster.

Robert, who has also composed Broadway musicals, is regarded as the cream of the crop.

:laugh:

 

[destrekor]

well that's another thing to add to the list.
DAMN YOU MOTHER NATURE! This is why we can't have anything nice!

 

[Kelemvor]

Ha ha. Must have been Global Warming. Couldn't have been Old Age of Nessie's part or toxins in the lake or anything like that...

 

[AnnonUSA]

ManBearPig will soon be dead too.

 

[BW86]

lol, you gotta be kidding me. :laugh:

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: Kelemvor
Ha ha. Must have been Global Warming. Couldn't have been Old Age of Nessie's part or toxins in the lake or anything like that...

^^^ Doubts Global Warming's role but totally assumes existence of giant water lizard in Scottish lake.

You, sir, give skepticism a bad name.

 

[Throckmorton]

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: Kelemvor
Ha ha. Must have been Global Warming. Couldn't have been Old Age of Nessie's part or toxins in the lake or anything like that...

^^^ Doubts Global Warming's role but totally assumes existence of giant water lizard in Scottish lake.

You, sir, give skepticism a bad name.

The skeptical community is skeptical of global warming deniers, so he fails on both counts.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: Throckmorton

Originally posted by: Perknose

Originally posted by: Kelemvor
Ha ha. Must have been Global Warming. Couldn't have been Old Age of Nessie's part or toxins in the lake or anything like that...

^^^ Doubts Global Warming's role but totally assumes existence of giant water lizard in Scottish lake.

You, sir, give skepticism a bad name.

The skeptical community is skeptical of global warming deniers, so he fails on both counts.

Throckmortong, you get my rarely coveted Post of the Week award! :laugh::thumbsup:

 

[Iron Woode]

Since then, he has been obsessed with tracking down the creature with a staggering array of hi-tech equipment. It was this gear that took the famous "flipper" picture that year which created a stir around the world.

which has been debunked as a fake.

he is a typical Don Quixote; tilting at windmills.

 

[miketheidiot]

link to the pics? I've never seen them.

 

[Iron Woode]

Originally posted by: miketheidiot
link to the pics? I've never seen them.

original 1934 photo

doctored flipper photo

 

[Squisher]

I wonder what ramifications global warming has 600 feet down?

 

[theprodigalrebel]

World War II veteran Robert has devoted almost half his life to scouring Loch Ness.

Lost his youth serving in the war, dedicated half his life to a dumbass pursuit that he now claims is lost, thanks to global warming.
Crazy old guys are teh awesome.

 

[SlitheryDee]

If there ever was such a creature, doesn't it makes sense that it might have died from the stress of avoiding meddlesome tourists for 75 years?

 

[Greenman]

75 years of searching and they've never even found a turd. Think about it, a critter that big must drop bombs the size of a Volkswagen, yet no one has ever stepped in one, what are the odds of that? So maybe the thing only craps in the loch, fine, there should still be some floaters the size of a fishing boat out there somewhere. If they just sink there should still be piles of crap all over the bottom of the loch, why not drop a bucket and snag a few pounds?

For the lack of a turd a legend was lost...