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girl's problem or guy's problem

S

Semidevil

Diamond Member
so lets say a guy and a girl hook up. they decide to have a serious relationship(meaning not seeing other people). Everyone knows they are gf/bf, but the thing is that when the pair go out, the girl doesn't like to kiss/hold hands in public.

who knows, at home, the they must be very intimate or something, but when in public, the girl requests to not hold hands/kiss that sort of thing.

Is this a girls problem that she needs to change, or does the guy need to adjust to it?
 
they probably just need to establish what the other is ok with, etc.
if this is a problem...well...more talking...maybe the shy one just needs more time.
 
some people choose not to be groping all over each other while in public. to them the relationship doesn't need to be broadcast to every single person all the time by constantly showing PDA's
 
Some ppl arent comfortable with PDAs. You have to respect that. However at the same time she can also try to change for him if she really cares for him
 
Why doesn't she want to? Does she feel it's rude/inappropriate? Is she feminist and doesn't want to look "owned"? Is she a flirt, someone who might use the space to (innocuously) flirt with guys who are uninhibited because she looks like she's not seriously attached? Is she scouting for someone else and doesn't want to look attached?

Can't say unless there's more info about why she's not willing to do all that stuff in public.
 
The girl may not feel comfortable, I think that he should respect her request. But she needs to tell him why so it doesn't cause trouble.
 
Originally posted by: Konigin
The girl may not feel comfortable, I think that he should respect her request. But she needs to tell him why so it doesn't cause trouble.
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I agree.

Communication is the key to any relationship.. so everybody needs to be made "happy".

I would find it alarming, though.. My girlfriend and I always hold hands/kiss in public. 😛

 
I had a gf exactly like this. I say steer away from her and find a new girlfriend. The girl that used to ask me not to hold her hand or kiss her in public has serious psychological problems. I'm wondering if this is the same for this girl?
 
Said couple needs to have a little communication and figure out the guidelines.

With my girlfriend we hold hands in public, I don't know if we've ever really kissed in public - if we have it was nothing more than a quick kiss good-bye or something. I'm don't think either of us feel comfortable full on kissing in public.
 
Originally posted by: zippy
Said couple needs to have a little communication and figure out the guidelines.

With my girlfriend we hold hands in public, I don't know if we've ever really kissed in public - if we have it was nothing more than a quick kiss good-bye or something. I'm don't think either of us feel comfortable full on kissing in public.
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Well, yeah. It's not like you totally go at it in public, that's just kinda weird.. I was just talking about short pecks and the like.

 
I think PDAs are OK as long as you're not playing tonsil hockey or groping each other. When I'm out with my wife, we hold hands and give each other little kisses occasionally. The girl sounds like she's got some serious hangups about sex or their relationship if she's not even willing to hold hands in public.
 
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: zippy
Said couple needs to have a little communication and figure out the guidelines.

With my girlfriend we hold hands in public, I don't know if we've ever really kissed in public - if we have it was nothing more than a quick kiss good-bye or something. I'm don't think either of us feel comfortable full on kissing in public.
Click to expand...
Well, yeah. It's not like you totally go at it in public, that's just kinda weird.. I was just talking about short pecks and the like.
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You can go at it in the cinema.............in the park..............in college........

 
Originally posted by: Koing
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: zippy
Said couple needs to have a little communication and figure out the guidelines.

With my girlfriend we hold hands in public, I don't know if we've ever really kissed in public - if we have it was nothing more than a quick kiss good-bye or something. I'm don't think either of us feel comfortable full on kissing in public.
Click to expand...
Well, yeah. It's not like you totally go at it in public, that's just kinda weird.. I was just talking about short pecks and the like.
Click to expand...

You can go at it in the cinema.............in the park..............in college........
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I wanna get you in the Georgia Dome on the 50 yard line when the dirty birds kick for three.
Or if you like it in the club we can do it in the DJ booth or in the back of the VIP.

Sorry, sounded like a Ludacris song.
 
I, myself, am not a fan of the public display of affection. I made my girlfriend aware of this and she understands.
 
Originally posted by: Semidevil
so lets say a guy and a girl hook up. they decide to have a serious relationship(meaning not seeing other people). Everyone knows they are gf/bf, but the thing is that when the pair go out, the girl doesn't like to kiss/hold hands in public.

who knows, at home, the they must be very intimate or something, but when in public, the girl requests to not hold hands/kiss that sort of thing.

Is this a girls problem that she needs to change, or does the guy need to adjust to it?
Click to expand...

girl's problem. she's ashamed to be seen with him as his girl
 
Originally posted by: JEDI
Originally posted by: Semidevil
so lets say a guy and a girl hook up. they decide to have a serious relationship(meaning not seeing other people). Everyone knows they are gf/bf, but the thing is that when the pair go out, the girl doesn't like to kiss/hold hands in public.

who knows, at home, the they must be very intimate or something, but when in public, the girl requests to not hold hands/kiss that sort of thing.

Is this a girls problem that she needs to change, or does the guy need to adjust to it?
Click to expand...

girl's problem. she's ashamed to be seen with him as his girl
Click to expand...

Maybe she just has some manners.
 
Speaking from experience. My husband when we first started dating.. it took him about a year to display any PDA's. His reason was... he hate's looking at ppl who are being all gushy in public so he didn't want to be one of those ppl. OTOH, now 5 1/2 years later He wont keep his hands off me or leave me alone and im the one saying.. gimme some space dammit!.
 
Originally posted by: Nocturnal
I had a gf exactly like this. I say steer away from her and find a new girlfriend. The girl that used to ask me not to hold her hand or kiss her in public has serious psychological problems. I'm wondering if this is the same for this girl?
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That's right on the money, those are the types of people who want to put up a good image in front of others. That means that they're the kind who can keep deep dark secrets without anyone ever knowing. No telling what they've done in their past. They'll never tell ya. Image is everything to these types of people, she'll dump you if her peers tell her you're not good enough. I hate people like that. WARNING! Steer far away from girls like this.
 
It sounds like you...er...he needs to get over the it. You...He (sorry), doesn't own her, as she's just a GF. If you are not a good enough bf to feel secure in public with her, while not showing everyone that she is yours, then its your issue.
 
Originally posted by: Jzero
Originally posted by: JEDI
Originally posted by: Semidevil
so lets say a guy and a girl hook up. they decide to have a serious relationship(meaning not seeing other people). Everyone knows they are gf/bf, but the thing is that when the pair go out, the girl doesn't like to kiss/hold hands in public.

who knows, at home, the they must be very intimate or something, but when in public, the girl requests to not hold hands/kiss that sort of thing.

Is this a girls problem that she needs to change, or does the guy need to adjust to it?
Click to expand...

girl's problem. she's ashamed to be seen with him as his girl
Click to expand...

Maybe she just has some manners.
Click to expand...

Pawing each other in public is one thing, but holding hands is something else. If she won't even hold hands with him, I'd say she has some serious hangups about sex or being seen in public with the guy.
 
If she won't do anything in public, she won't do anything in private either. This is her problem. If the guy doesn't like it. Leave.
 
Quote : Rilescat
"If she won't do anything in public, she won't do anything in private either. This is her problem. If the guy doesn't like it. Leave."

says who..... just because she dosent want to kiss or hold hands in public dosent mean jack squat... i dated a girl that didnt want to do anything in public either but that dosent mean we did nothing in private.... if she isnt comfortable with it she just isnt comfortable with it... it will either take time and the guy should be patient and understanding or she wont ever change.... dosent mean she's a bad girl to date though

GUYS PROBLEM... DEAL WITH IT
 
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