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GIRLS and mature guys. i need some advice.

D

desiplaya4life

Golden Member
ok as some of you know this girl n me were talking and gone out . she is in san antonio im in college station. we were going good for 3 weeks. then everything went downhill. i guess its partial my fault.. for not responding to her txt's always on time or lol kinda being realistic on her jokes? i dunno. she said in a laughing matter "im an asshole, beee nice" after that i toned myself down.

her background is this. she broken up w/ her ex for almost a month now and now she is completely lost. she goes back n forth on deciding if she wants a relationship. i dont want to push her to get into a relationship fast i have no desire either but i do NOT want to get into the "friend" zone either.

moving things forward last fri we talked n she broke it doesnt know when she is ready for relationship when i asked her the question if she wanted to go out this weekend, she said I DONT KNOW. that just pissed me off (because this is the second time she done this) . then i ask her why do you do this? why do you hurt yourself always? she said i dont know, i really dont know.... so i proceeded and said welll i wish you goodluck and take care of yourself, i'll c u later. she cried and said bye.

this happened last friday and now its tuesday since then we havent talked and i think about her alot. reason why? because this one girl is the one that sets apart from other girls (other than beeing shallow, picky, and SHALLOW) we have same majors, same music, same interest, same everything! everything.

girls, guys what can i do to atleast show my effort and initiative on about showing her how much i care for her? true that i should just move on maybe and forget about her, but b4 i do i want to satisfy my heart that i atleast tried.

what should i do to initiate a good convo or tell her? i actually have saved some of her sweet txt's that (were worth saving) she sent me throughout our course when i said something really meaningful. should i send one her old txt as a initiative?
 
Well, it really wasn't a good act on your part when you left her crying. She probably think you're an insensitive prick now.

My suggestion would be to tell her that you feel miserable for leaving her like that and see where it goes.
 
you have to kind of stay semi distant, but still be there for her. if shes feeling bad, offer to come over with ice cream and watch a movie or something. Girls love sappy stuff like that. You can't smother her, so dont constantly try to push her into going on a date with you. it would be better to let her get over her ex, then make a move. its kind of a gray area between friends and relationship material... You have to seem sweet, but mysteriousish. Keep her on her toes. cant always play nice.
 
Originally posted by: hypn0tik
Well, it really wasn't a good act on your part when you left her crying. She probably think you're an insensitive prick now.

My suggestion would be to tell her that you feel miserable for leaving her like that and see where it goes.
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keep in mind she is in san antonio and im in college station- 3hrs apart.

we both live in houston though and both are coming down there for the thanksgiving.


last week she invited me to a dj concert thats going to take this week and asked me if wanted to go. i said i dont know as i was planning on going to NYC but the trip got canceled. she doesnt know.
 
How long did she and her ex go out for? It's probably going to take her awhile to get over it, especially if it was a hard breakup/he broke up with her (not the other way around).

I'd say stick around, make sure she knows that you're interested in a relationship with her at some point, but that you're willing to wait until she's ready (but only if you really are, though). And then be supportive and wait, and hopefully things will happen for you eventually.

Good luck.
 
she went out w/ her ex for no more than 5months of less. they broke up because her ex went back to her OLD ex and he wanted to be just friends with her. but she said no. so they broke up. that damn boy still txt her just last week that she told me about but she tries to ignore it yet also cried over it. (he sent her a txt 4am in the morning askin tellin her that i cant go to sleep i miss you) by that i know she has feelings for him still. (shee still keeps him onn myspace top friends) but im not bothered. why? because since day 1 she has been honest with me all because of she knows i understand her situation and i acknowledge her for honesty everytime
 
Originally posted by: LadyBuggy
How long did she and her ex go out for? It's probably going to take her awhile to get over it, especially if it was a hard breakup/he broke up with her (not the other way around).

I'd say stick around, make sure she knows that you're interested in a relationship with her at some point, but that you're willing to wait until she's ready (but only if you really are, though). And then be supportive and wait, and hopefully things will happen for you eventually.

Good luck.
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so how should i get in contact with her again? i really am lost on what right words to say. txt her old sweet msg's reminding of our good time during our talks or call her n say something or what
 
To answer your question: Yes I have

Is it worth it?: Not in your life, it's never the same and theres always a lingering feeling of resentment and paranoia.
 
Originally posted by: desiplaya4life
Originally posted by: LadyBuggy
How long did she and her ex go out for? It's probably going to take her awhile to get over it, especially if it was a hard breakup/he broke up with her (not the other way around).

I'd say stick around, make sure she knows that you're interested in a relationship with her at some point, but that you're willing to wait until she's ready (but only if you really are, though). And then be supportive and wait, and hopefully things will happen for you eventually.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

so how should i get in contact with her again? i really am lost on what right words to say. txt her old sweet msg's reminding of our good time during our talks or call her n say something or what
Click to expand...

Why not call her and just tell her how you feel?

Your grammar is horrible, by the way.

 
yes i know, i just free write and dont give much importance on revising my thoughts that are written out. sorry if it bothers you.


yea i can call her tommm morning. i have no prob. its just that she is more expressive in txt's than talks. i dunno why. i might be wrong. but i know she is alot more expressive in txt's and opened up. she is not much of a phone talker. her owning a sidekick2 would explain my educated guess a little.

but yea i do want to call her. at same time i feel like txt'in her right now

 
Originally posted by: desiplaya4life
Originally posted by: LadyBuggy
How long did she and her ex go out for? It's probably going to take her awhile to get over it, especially if it was a hard breakup/he broke up with her (not the other way around).

I'd say stick around, make sure she knows that you're interested in a relationship with her at some point, but that you're willing to wait until she's ready (but only if you really are, though). And then be supportive and wait, and hopefully things will happen for you eventually.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

so how should i get in contact with her again? i really am lost on what right words to say. txt her old sweet msg's reminding of our good time during our talks or call her n say something or what
Click to expand...

Theres no "right thing" to say exactly... if you are really interested in a relationship with her just tell her that & tell her your willing to wait ... let it come out naturally & don't worry about planning what to say, that'll screw it up everytime!
As for when to say it.. face to face is the best bet & when your both at home over TG sounds like a good time, take the pressure off by getting together with her & doing somthing you both enjoy.. have some fun, relax & the timing will take care of itself.


 
Probably not what you want to hear. But I'd look elsewhere for a relationship. She has issues that you aren't going to be able to solve at the moment. If you stick around, yes you'll help her through the rough time and you might fall into the friend zone.

buuut, if you insist on talking to her. You can try this.

"Sorry for storming out like that the other day. I regret doing that but at the same time Im not exactly sure what else I could have done since I was also pretty upset. (what you say after that is up to you)

If she doesn't respond to that, then I would start moving on.
 
Originally posted by: desiplaya4life
yes i know, i just free write and dont give much importance on revising my thoughts that are written out. sorry if it bothers you.


yea i can call her tommm morning. i have no prob. its just that she is more expressive in txt's than talks. i dunno why. i might be wrong. but i know she is alot more expressive in txt's and opened up. she is not much of a phone talker. her owning a sidekick2 would explain my educated guess a little.

but yea i do want to call her. at same time i feel like txt'in her right now
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The "free writing" doesn't bother me, it just makes what you're saying difficult to understand.

How long did you know/date this girl again?
 
I wouldnt resend the test message to her....just tell her straight out how you feel...thats the problem with dating..to many head games...speak whats on your mind
 
Originally posted by: deadlyapp
you have to kind of stay semi distant, but still be there for her. if shes feeling bad, offer to come over with ice cream and watch a movie or something. Girls love sappy stuff like that. You can't smother her, so dont constantly try to push her into going on a date with you. it would be better to let her get over her ex, then make a move. its kind of a gray area between friends and relationship material... You have to seem sweet, but mysteriousish. Keep her on her toes. cant always play nice.
Click to expand...

Agreed. You don't want to be the guy that got her over her ex, because her feelings for you will be tied to her feelings for him.
 
Am I the only one here who got a headache from reading that?

So, let me get this straight, you've only dated roughly a month or so? If that's true, and this is how you're starting, then you two are better off apart.

Trust me, I'm dead right on this.
 
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Am I the only one here who got a headache from reading that?

So, let me get this straight, you've only dated roughly a month or so? If that's true, and this is how you're starting, then you two are better off apart.

Trust me, I'm dead right on this.
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QFT. All the stuff about flowers is ridiculous. Seems like she's having some problems, you've accepted that. You did nothing wrong.

 
I am disappointed with ATOT. No-one yet has suggested the old standby.

It's as easy as this:

Next time you see her, walk right up to her and say, "Nice shoes, wanna fvck?"

Now that I have that out of the way, I'll actually be serious. What you're asking for amounts to advice on how to convince an unsure and vulnerable person who still needs to find herself and who probably does not need a relationship right now that she should bind with you. Learn some self-control and give the girl a chance to get herself straight.

ZV
 
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