Girlfriend wants a 'promise ring'.

[Shortcut]

isn't a promise ring something couples wear when they commit to abstinence til after marriage?

 

[James Bond]

Originally posted by: Shortcut
isn't a promise ring something couples wear when they commit to abstinence til after marriage?

I think you're thinking of a Chastity ring?

 

[theLION]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: pontifex
waste of money

Even though I am usually a romantic guy, I totally agree with this statement.

It doesn't really mean anything unless you want it to mean something, and obviously she is the only one who really wants something so trivial. What exactly are you "promising"? That you will be committed to her until you break up basically. If you don't break up and eventually get married, the real ring is the engagement and wedding band, so what the heck does a promise ring really promise?

All I see is that it is a way for someone to claim ownership of a person even though they haven't made a real prledge to remain together for life. i.e. - you are at a bar and they notice your "promise" ring so they back off. BTW, nobody cares too much about a promise ring. But if you are a guy who will stay committed in a relationship, then what is the purpose of the "promise" ring? If you aren't, a "promise" ring won't make a flippin' difference.

Of course if you are committed to her already, no big deal in getting her what she wants, but I don't think that a "promise" ring really means much except to the girl (if she is the type to make that a big deal <which apparently she is> ).

i totally agree with DaShen.

If she wants to feel loved, then do something else. Be creative and make something; that's what i'm gonna do. By you taking the time to plan or make something for her, how can she not feel loved. If she needs a freakin' promise ring to feel loved, then she's straight up materialistic. The real promise ring = the engagement ring!!

 

[James Bond]

Originally posted by: DaShen
Of course if you are committed to her already, no big deal in getting her what she wants, but I don't think that a "promise" ring really means much except to the girl (if she is the type to make that a big deal <which apparently she is> ).

She hasn't made it a big deal in any way. She has just hinted at it a few times that she would really like a ring for Valentines day (she only has one, and it's some spoon ring from her Grandmother).

I just want to get her a present that makes her happy, and I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing.

/thread

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Aikouka

Originally posted by: zinfamous
Only in a America do we have the ridiculous engagement tradition. Now there are promise rings? Jesus....Let me guess, is this another Hallmark-conceived event or "tradition" just so that they can have a business?

It's essentially like.. a "going steady ring" ... kind of.

EDIT: Also you can't forget that this is only what the OP thinks. The girlfriend may just want a ring for jewelry purposes (as he also mentioned).

yeah, that's what I was thinking, hehe. my first thought though, was that these two are in highschool and the GF wants one of those "promise to abstain until marriage" rings or bands or whatever they are...I thought this thread would be better

 

[SonnyDaze]

Originally posted by: Tizyler

Originally posted by: SonnyDaze
When I read the OP three things came to mind:

1. Clingy
2. Material
3. Juvenile

If you two are serious about your relationship going to "the next level" than start looking at your personal finances and saving money for a nice engagement ring (that would probably mean a lot more to her) and possibly a future together.

Have you never had a girlfriend that liked jewelry?

I'm not ready for engagement, and neither is she. She just wants a present for Valentine's day that makes her feel loved.

:laugh: I'm married to a woman that has 3 carats on her finger and LOVES jewelry. :laugh:

Seriously though, I understand the commitment the two of you have with each other but if she just wants to feel loved than do something special with her (weekend get away, special night out, etc.). Love doesn't always have to be expressed with rings, jewelry, diamonds, etc.

 

[PrelateBishop]

I feel dumber for having read this thread. I'd swear the IQ of the OT posts are at about room temperature these days.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Promise rings are completely meaningless.

That said, I probably wouldn't get her one unless you are pretty serious about her...it's not fair to toy with a woman's feelings like that.

 

[DVad3r]

I have the same problem with my girlfriend. Dating a year now and she keeps bringing up a promise ring every now and then. First time I heard it it sounded kind of high school/childish to me, still think it is. Maybe one day I will give in, who knows.

 

[Zekial]

id say she is 'testing' to see how serious you are about your relationship. i can tell you she will probably be very upset/disappointed if she doesnt see one for Vday. but, i wouldnt get her a ring just for that reason. maybe a nice necklace or anklet

 

[dirtboy]

What exactly does she want you to promise her?

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Promise rings are completely meaningless.

That said, I probably wouldn't get her one unless you are pretty serious about her...it's not fair to toy with a woman's feelings like that.

Agreed.

Your girlfriend is trying to test your commitment. Talk it out with her.

I personally wouldn't get the thing unless it was terribly important to my SO and we had already talked it out, and I was already committed to the relationship. Don't let your SO play mindgames. Girls tend to do this without even realizing it sometimes.

 

[James Bond]

Originally posted by: DaShen

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Promise rings are completely meaningless.

That said, I probably wouldn't get her one unless you are pretty serious about her...it's not fair to toy with a woman's feelings like that.

Agreed.

Your girlfriend is trying to test your commitment. Talk it out with her.

I personally wouldn't get the thing unless it was terribly important to my SO and we had already talked it out, and I was already committed to the relationship. Don't let your SO play mindgames. Girls tend to do this without even realizing it sometimes.

That makes sense. Thanks

 

[toekramp]

Remer: "What's that?"
Coop: "It is a commitment ring."
Remer: "What, for Jenna?"
Coop: "Yes, I'm letting her know that I'm ready to consider thinking about dating her exclusively."
Remer: "well I'm giving Jenna a precommitment ring. its a promise to pledge that we'll think about getting engaged just as soon as we are ready to make a commitment."

 

[DVK916]

If her birthstone is emerald, ruby, or saphire, then buy her a white gold ring, with a good quality 2ct birthstone and two 1/2 ct diamonds on the side. This is a great promise ring. Make sure it is a natural stone and the cut, quality and color are all good. Should spend between 2000-5000 on it.

 

[thepd7]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: senseamp
Just get her your junk in a box.

1. Cut a hole in the box ... :music:

- M4H

2. Put your junk in that box! :music:

 

[DVK916]

Something like this ring, but a little smaller. The stone in this ring is 3.3 ct, 2ct would be better.

http://www.coffinandtrout.com/images/co...que/Classique118-R30(TCLR01786)425.jpg


She will love you for a long time.

 

[James Bond]

Originally posted by: DVK916
Something like this ring, but a little smaller. The stone in this ring is 3.3 ct, 2ct would be better.

http://www.coffinandtrout.com/images/co...que/Classique118-R30(TCLR01786)425.jpg


She will love you for a long time.

I'm talking like $100-$200, not $2000-$3000

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

Originally posted by: Tizyler
We've been going out for about a year now, and she keeps hinting that she wants a ring for Valentine's Day. Keep in mind--when she says ring, she means promise ring.

I realize that promise ring != engagement ring, but I am still a little nervous about it.
How big of a commitment is that? What would I be getting myself into? What if I got her a ring, and didn't present it like that (ie: I just presented it for what it is, a nice ring).

What do you guys think?

A promise ring is for high schoolers. It's recockulous in my opinion.

 

[shadow9d9]

Promise rings are quite childish. I am 24 now, and got married at 22, engaged with a cheap ring round 19-20.

 

[NatePo717]

Originally posted by: thepd7

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire

Originally posted by: senseamp
Just get her your junk in a box.

1. Cut a hole in the box ... :music:

- M4H

2. Put your junk in that box! :music:

3. Maker her open the box! :music:

seriously. If this doesn't work she's not a keeper.

 

[TUKIN18S]

If you like getting laid, you will get one.

 

[AreaCode707]

Buy her a necklace. You've then been the sensitive and loving boyfriend but you've avoided the relationship pit of "promise ring".

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: HotChic
Buy her a necklace. You've then been the sensitive and loving boyfriend but you've avoided the relationship pit of "promise ring".

Sorry, but drama is unavoidable, once the girl has her mind set on something the guy must do, his only recourse is either to give in, or have a long talk about it before it blows over.

He could buy the necklace and if he gets an inkling that she is pissed, he would need to address it immediately.

 

[preslove]

Get her a pendant or earrings, something like that. She gets her nice shiny jewelry and there aren't any mixed signals.