Girl stuffs.. a little unsure..

[TheVrolok]

Ok, let me give a slight background. I was in a relationship for a year and a half, it end sourly and that girl and I are basically not on speaking terms anymore, I still do think I love her but I understand that the way things have changed it will never work again. This was a few months ago, back in August that we broke up.. (Well July 31). So now I start 'having feelings' for a girl I sorta had a crush on maybe like 2 years ago, before I started dated my ex. It's odd for me because for the least year and a half I've basically been in love and I right now I don't know exactly what I feel for this new girl but I think I want to find out, we used to be friends but when I started dating my ex we sorta lost touch. Any, to the present. We've gotten really close over the last 2 months, I've been helping her with her guy problems, just discussing ideas and thoughts, and having deep conversations. We think very similarly and because of that we get along very well. I was at her house this evening for a small party and she sorta hung all over me and we chatted and what not so I really enjoyed myself. When the end came, we hugged and she said something like "You're such a great friend, I really love you for it you know." And once during the night we were speaking of potential guys for her(she has really never had a serious boyfriend but longs for companionship) and myself and a friend of mine came up, she remarked that "He's taken, and I love ya like a brother." Instantly I thought of the Chris Rock joke, "Ohh no, I've reached the friend zone.." if any of you know what I'm talking about. Now this is my predictament. I think I would like to try some kind of dating relationship with her, and at times the way she acts and speaks it kinda seems like she would too, but after those comments tonight I just don't think it would be right to move into trying anything. I'd really rather not mess up a good friendship. Advice.. comments?

 

[Hamburgerpimp]

Cliffnotes

 

[Jfur]

She may have been protecting herself from rejection. If the signs are otherwise, don't dwell on the "brother" thing. Seriously, keep probing.

 

[gopunk]

<< Cliffnotes >>

 

[yobarman]

Do her.

 

[pulse8]

First of all, paragraphs are your friend. Secondly, I would say that you've entered the friend zone and there are slim chances of getting out of it. If she sees you like a brother, it means you're such a close friend and she may not find you attractive physically or just doesn't think of you in any other way than a friend.

There's nothing you can do to change that. Don't tell her about your feelings because no good will come out of it. You'll only make her feel obligated and pressured into doing something and you'll scare her off. Just be there for her like you have been and continue to be a good friend.

If you want to try and change things around, become more affectionate towards her and try to form a sexual tension. Brothers and sisters don't have that for a reason. If you can form a sexual tension, then she'll start seeing you differently and you may be able to get of the friend zone. If not, don't force anything. It'll only make things worse.

Good luck.

 

[djheater]

Preface... i am happily married to my best friend. We've known each other since we were 16 and had multiple relationships before hooking up....

If I ever hear a girl give the "I don't date my friends" speech, I jump down their fricking throat. What absolute idiocy. That whole thought is so stupid i am made angry by it. i want to say, " OK you moron, does that mean you only date people who you cannot be firends with?"

If a woman can't date someone who is her friend it is because she does not associate the feelings of friendship with a sexual relationship. Probably due to a negative previous experience or immaturity on her part, at any rate it's stupid. if you can't make that clear to her move on with your life and realize that you are emotionally more secure than her and a relationship between you cannot work due to a fault in her.

 

[TheVrolok]

That's why I'm unsure.. The girl I dated for a year and a half was my best friend beforehand, and sure we didn't end up together, but that year and a half was wonderful, so I don't buy into that "don't date friends" thing either.

 

[pulse8]

So she has told you that she doesn't date friends?

From what your wrote, it sounds like she's just not interested in you in that way.

 

[StuckMojo]

<< First of all, paragraphs are your friend. >>



ROFL!!!!

 

[djheater]

You should have given her a hard time about the "love you like a brother" thing right away. Tell her, "Hey, I'm not your brother. Period. Siblings love each other in part out of duty. I feel no duty towards you. I'm your friend because I love you. Not because you're likable."

Straight up is the only way to fly. Don't let her dodge the point, get it out in the open.

 

[pulse8]

<< You should have given her a hard time about the "love you like a brother" thing right away. Tell her, "Hey, I'm not your brother. Period. Siblings love each other in part out of duty. I feel no duty towards you. I'm your friend because I love you. Not because you're likable."

Straight up is the only way to fly. Don't let her dodge the point, get it out in the open. >>



If he had said that he would've looked like a psycho.

 

[eshrai]

<< She may have been protecting herself from rejection. >>



i agree...some of us girls just don't get it when a guy likes us, so we pretend not to like them...even though we flirt...

 

[pulse8]

<< some of us girls just don't get it when a guy likes us, so we pretend not to like them >>



One of the many reasons I love women. They are human Rubik's Cubes.

 

[Aenygma]

Make a paragraph break.

 

[Gulzakar]

when they start referring to you in cutsie names, your a friend. I think that yo ucan remedy it, but at this point, the only thing that is going to work for her is time.

 

[Jugernot]

Go for it, ask her.... otherwise your wondering will eventually ruin the relationship.

 

[Jfur]

From what you said, it is NOT YET CLEAR that she sees you only as a friend/brother. Look deeper before assuming that. And no, saying those things does not always mean that's what she is thinking.

 

[heartsurgeon]

i am giddy, first time i've gotten to say this..

PICS?

 

[Sir Fredrick]

cliff notes:
Dude just got out of a long relationship, has the hots for a friend who said that she loves him like a brother. He's afraid to ask her out, even though she acts like she likes him.

 

[VirginiaDonkey]

i am giddy, first time i've gotten to say this..

PICS?



DAMN!!! 1 hour late to lose my "pics" virginity

oh well, congrats....and hope it felt good

 

[AreaCode707]

I 'adopted' this really neat guy as my boyfriend once. I had to unadopt him a few months later so we could start dating. Just passed the one-year mark.
Just talk to her, tell her you like her and you're interested in being more than friends, if she is. That's a good way to open the idea without pressuring her.

 

[Mustangrrl]

<< She may have been protecting herself from rejection. If the signs are otherwise, don't dwell on the "brother" thing. Seriously, keep probing. >>

Yup, that's what it sounds like to me, too. Women don't hang all over you if they think of you like a brother, I have three brothers and I don't touch them! Sounds like she's putting out the vibes, bringing it up so you'll "correct" her and let her know that you would want to hook up romantically... do it.
~robyn

 

[Keego]

Drop your pants and say "It's not going to suck itself"


Always works for me

 

[Red Dawn]

Brother, me thinks you analyze too much.