Alright this might be long so just bear with me....
*Just finished writing, coming back up to write a little warning. This is long as hell, don't read it if you get bored with dumb HS relationship crap, and don't write some smart ass remark about needing the cliffnotes*
I've known this girl for about 7 or 8 years, we became pretty good friends last year. This year about October/November we became best friends, and we started having feelings for each other about mid-December. While we were best friends we would talk on the phone everyday and hang out every weekend, whether it was with a group or by ourselves. For about two weeks in mid-December it was obvious we had feelings for each other but we never talked about it (we held hands and stuff). One night we kissed and then obviously we had to talk about it and get every thing out in the open.
We got together in the beginning of January.... but a week later it started going downhill. It all started one night, when she was babysitting, and I went to go see her. I stayed for a while, then I went to a party, and she said she'd call me when she got out of babysitting and she'd come too. But she never did, but I didn't think twice about it cause maybe she got out too late or something. The next day she didn't call and she usually does at least by the afternoon or so. I call her up at around 5, she doesn't talk much and says she has to get off the phone so she could do homework. I was like okay, thats fine I'll talk to you tomorrow. I go online, and 5 minutes later she comes online. I ask her what happened and she was ilke I didn't feel like doing it. Okay.... I try to talk to her but she doesn't say much, one or two word answers.
I gave up on her for the night, but the next day wasn't any better. We don't talk when we see each other (though we were with a group of people, but still). During the course of the week I ask her whats the matter what was up with her.... she kept insisting nothing was wrong. We almost break up during this, but we both agreed we wnted to work things out. Finally she admits to "being distant, but it had nothing to do with me." I'm like alright, maybe everyone who goes from best friends to gf/bf goes through this. Its over, put it behind me.
One night we were at a HS basketball game. I stand next to her, though we don't really talk. She has to leave the game early, and before I know it she slips by me and is going out the door. w/o saying bye or aynthing. I'm steamed, but I don't want to bring it up. But at night she comes online and immediately apologizes for doing that. I wanted to froget about it, but now that she brought it up I was a little angry. I was like whats the deal, she says she just forgot, it slipped her mind. Then she says "maybe we shouldn't be togehter because i keep hurting you with these little things." I say, yea I agree we were really perfect friends before and now everything is falling apart. If you promise things will go back to normal after we break up, then I agree." she says yes, so there's the end. I don't know if she really wanted to break up that night, more details if you ask, but this is getting too long already
Things get worse after this. We talk less and less, I call her, she says she's busy and we rarely hung out. Her best friend (who i was very good friends w/ too) kept telling me I try too hard and to give her her space. So okay, I stopped calling her for a while. like a week and a weekend. For valentine's day, I gave her a bouquet of a few flowers (not roses) with a note saying this situation is so stupid, I want to be friends again... not together, just friends. She calls me back, sincerely (i think) thanks me for the flowers but doesn't mention the note. We have a 6 day break after valentine's day, and after that day we don't talk for the rest of hte break, cause I promised myself not to call her.
Finally, the past few days, she's been really ignoring me, every time I talk to her in school she is quiet and basically disagrees with everything I say. Her best friend says she 'got tired of me' or 'sick of me' or something.
After all that writing.... I dunno what I want you guys to do... just give me your opinion I guess. This week sometime, I want to make her come by my house after school so we can get everything out in the open and talk about everything. basically what is up with her. I don't relaly know if that is a good idea anymore. Maybe I should just not talk to her, and see how it goes from there....
There are some more details (believe it or not), if anyone actually reads this I'll see if I can divulge some more relevant information.
EDIT: The general consensus when I explain this to people (well, like... two people and you guys) is to leave her alone, girls like the 'bad guys' blah blah. The thing is, this situation has happened before to my knowledge. Last year, she asked her best friend to prom. Their relationship sorta went sour and at prom she completely ignored him, like didn't talk to him at all (this was may '01). In the November/December '01 time frame, they still weren't talking very much. Now I think they are okay, maybe even good friends again but not sure.
Furthermore, she had a pretty good friend (with a girl i dislike a lot though), they got in a fight and she has never talked to her again. Also, a few months ago she had a guy she hooked up with a few times. They got in a fight and now she is just very casual friends with him (say hi when they see each other thats it).
Point is, this is the most stubborn girl I have ever dealt with, I have other situations as evidence as well. I thought it was different wiht us, but I guess not. Various times she has been in a pissy mood and later gone out of her way to apologize for it. But... I doubt she will change her stance on this.
*Just finished writing, coming back up to write a little warning. This is long as hell, don't read it if you get bored with dumb HS relationship crap, and don't write some smart ass remark about needing the cliffnotes*
I've known this girl for about 7 or 8 years, we became pretty good friends last year. This year about October/November we became best friends, and we started having feelings for each other about mid-December. While we were best friends we would talk on the phone everyday and hang out every weekend, whether it was with a group or by ourselves. For about two weeks in mid-December it was obvious we had feelings for each other but we never talked about it (we held hands and stuff). One night we kissed and then obviously we had to talk about it and get every thing out in the open.
We got together in the beginning of January.... but a week later it started going downhill. It all started one night, when she was babysitting, and I went to go see her. I stayed for a while, then I went to a party, and she said she'd call me when she got out of babysitting and she'd come too. But she never did, but I didn't think twice about it cause maybe she got out too late or something. The next day she didn't call and she usually does at least by the afternoon or so. I call her up at around 5, she doesn't talk much and says she has to get off the phone so she could do homework. I was like okay, thats fine I'll talk to you tomorrow. I go online, and 5 minutes later she comes online. I ask her what happened and she was ilke I didn't feel like doing it. Okay.... I try to talk to her but she doesn't say much, one or two word answers.
I gave up on her for the night, but the next day wasn't any better. We don't talk when we see each other (though we were with a group of people, but still). During the course of the week I ask her whats the matter what was up with her.... she kept insisting nothing was wrong. We almost break up during this, but we both agreed we wnted to work things out. Finally she admits to "being distant, but it had nothing to do with me." I'm like alright, maybe everyone who goes from best friends to gf/bf goes through this. Its over, put it behind me.
One night we were at a HS basketball game. I stand next to her, though we don't really talk. She has to leave the game early, and before I know it she slips by me and is going out the door. w/o saying bye or aynthing. I'm steamed, but I don't want to bring it up. But at night she comes online and immediately apologizes for doing that. I wanted to froget about it, but now that she brought it up I was a little angry. I was like whats the deal, she says she just forgot, it slipped her mind. Then she says "maybe we shouldn't be togehter because i keep hurting you with these little things." I say, yea I agree we were really perfect friends before and now everything is falling apart. If you promise things will go back to normal after we break up, then I agree." she says yes, so there's the end. I don't know if she really wanted to break up that night, more details if you ask, but this is getting too long already
Things get worse after this. We talk less and less, I call her, she says she's busy and we rarely hung out. Her best friend (who i was very good friends w/ too) kept telling me I try too hard and to give her her space. So okay, I stopped calling her for a while. like a week and a weekend. For valentine's day, I gave her a bouquet of a few flowers (not roses) with a note saying this situation is so stupid, I want to be friends again... not together, just friends. She calls me back, sincerely (i think) thanks me for the flowers but doesn't mention the note. We have a 6 day break after valentine's day, and after that day we don't talk for the rest of hte break, cause I promised myself not to call her.
Finally, the past few days, she's been really ignoring me, every time I talk to her in school she is quiet and basically disagrees with everything I say. Her best friend says she 'got tired of me' or 'sick of me' or something.
After all that writing.... I dunno what I want you guys to do... just give me your opinion I guess. This week sometime, I want to make her come by my house after school so we can get everything out in the open and talk about everything. basically what is up with her. I don't relaly know if that is a good idea anymore. Maybe I should just not talk to her, and see how it goes from there....
There are some more details (believe it or not), if anyone actually reads this I'll see if I can divulge some more relevant information.
EDIT: The general consensus when I explain this to people (well, like... two people and you guys) is to leave her alone, girls like the 'bad guys' blah blah. The thing is, this situation has happened before to my knowledge. Last year, she asked her best friend to prom. Their relationship sorta went sour and at prom she completely ignored him, like didn't talk to him at all (this was may '01). In the November/December '01 time frame, they still weren't talking very much. Now I think they are okay, maybe even good friends again but not sure.
Furthermore, she had a pretty good friend (with a girl i dislike a lot though), they got in a fight and she has never talked to her again. Also, a few months ago she had a guy she hooked up with a few times. They got in a fight and now she is just very casual friends with him (say hi when they see each other thats it).
Point is, this is the most stubborn girl I have ever dealt with, I have other situations as evidence as well. I thought it was different wiht us, but I guess not. Various times she has been in a pissy mood and later gone out of her way to apologize for it. But... I doubt she will change her stance on this.
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