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Ginormous Fish caught IN MY BATHTUB!!!

This is the best one

So the other day, after eating this grilled cheese sandwich.... which I actually bought off of here, and man did it taste like crap... i mean, seriously for $20,000 I was expecting the greatest grilled cheese sandwich in the world, I was sadly mistaken. It tasted like some 50 year old virgin sat on it for 10 years, blah, I dont even want to think about it, what a waste of money. Anyways, I was looking around the house for something to wear. I was sick of the same old pants, shirt and paperbag. But thats pretty much all I own, 2 pairs of pants, 1 shirt, and what used to be 1 full pair of socks.... that was until a few years ago when I needed some cash, fast.... (dont ask please, its a long story but I am very thankful for the $40 odd dollars that nice old lady sent us for the sock, despite the fact that she was pissed when she got it... oh well what can you do, some people cant read) anyways, back to the story.
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It is pretty funny and all, but damn I'm unemployed and I don't even have that much time on my hands.

He is pretty funny though:
So with the idea in mind, I decided to go out and get other peoples opinions, this caused a bit of a problem. The local neighbors dont like me as it is, I mean seriously, I wear a bag over my head, so naturally they dont want me around their small children, especially when I'm swinging a sock full of quarters around. One kid in particular was extremely scared.... I think they are scarred for life, oh well, I told them to put a bag on their head and deal with it. I hate kids. Kids and dogs, even though dogs seem to love me, sometimes a little too much....So none of the neighbors would give me their opinions... mostly just got rocks thrown at me, one guy threw a cantelope, which was weird, but I just picked it up and took it home, i mean, seriously.... free cantelope. So with cantelope in hand, this is where I am, bringing
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