Gimme some humorous ideas.

Ricemarine

Lifer
Sep 10, 2004
10,507
0
0
yeah. posted in 1 thread... About situation...

Friend gets put on hold for a solicitor (cause they called?)

Friend : "WASSUP HOMIE!"
Solicitor: "How may I help you?"
Friend : "You can't help me yo!"
Solicitor: *Hangs up*

So that also got me thinking...
What's the best way to get a solicitor to hang up (w/ humor)?
 

Mojoed

Diamond Member
Jul 20, 2004
4,473
1
81
When they ask for me or someone else, I respond with the following:

"Oh soandso passed away last month, could you remove this number from your list please?"

I figure with a response like that, it's more likely that they'll actually remove the number.
 

Xionide

Diamond Member
Apr 20, 2002
8,679
2
81
Whatever they are selling tell them you already are paying like 50 times their price. Then tell them you think its a better deal. I think I actually heard someone bang their head on the keyboard once.
 
Jul 18, 2005
84
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I used to have to work at a place like that, it sucked :(

It was "Political & Consumer Research" as they called it.

You try to think of funny ways to get them to hang up, and we would try to think of funny names and accents to use when we called people.
 

pbaker

Senior member
Aug 17, 2005
234
0
0
leave the phone laying on the table for hours. then think about how long they waited before they hung up.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
I've had fun using this approach (I read about someone using it years ago, it works just as well today).

Telemarketer: Good evening sir, I'm Bob Annoyingman from Shoddy Remodelers. We're having a half-price sale on new CrystalClear windows this month and wanted to know if Tuesday at 7 PM would be a convenient time to have our consultant stop by to give you an estimate. Or would Wednesday at 8 PM be better for you?

Me: Tuesday at 7 would be great! Half-price windows, you say?

TM: Yes! This is our best price ever on these top-quality windows. That's great, I'll have our consultant stop by on Tuesday around 7 PM. Can I just confirm your address?

Me: Can he bring turnips?

TM: So, you're at 1236 Jeffer-- uh, turnips?

Me: Yes, can he bring turnips?

TM: Uh, I'm sorry, I don't understand. Did you say "turnips"?

Me: Yes, I'd like him to bring some turnips.

TM: Uh...

Me: That figures! I had a guy here last week to estimate windows, but he didn't bring any turnips. Then he had to... leave, so I'm still looking to get new windows.

TM: <click>

The best part is they make a note that you are a lunatic and will never call back.
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,392
1
0
Maybe it's too early in the morning, but I don't get it :( .

I do all sorts of stuff, but it's rare that I even answer the phone. My wife usually answers and she's not so good at hanging up, so I'll just unplug the phone from the wall to make it easier for everyone.

On the rare occassion I get roped in by a sales call, I'll do any number of the following:

1. Ask them to hold on and then place the phone down and walk away. This is my favorite. It requires minimal effort on my part AND it inconveniences the bastard who called me at dinner just as much as he inconvenienced me.

2. If I'm in a real bad mood and I'm feeling spiteful, I'll let them go through everything, I'll ask a bunch of questions, think about it, ask some more questions, and then say "thanks for calling bye" and just hang up. It REALLY wastes their time, but it also requires you to waste a fair amount of your own.

3. Another favorite of mine is to ask the caller for their name and number. Quite frankly, I think it's only fair that if they have YOUR information and can contact YOU at will, we should be able to do the same. If they won't give me their personal information, I just hang up. This is a real quick and easy way to make a very obvious point.

4. What usually happens, more than the others, is "You know it's fscking dinner time don't you? Don't ever fscking call here again." This one is more of a kneejerk reaction on my part than a conscious decision to screw with the chump on the phone.


MARKETING ONLY

Most telemarketing calls that we receive are companies doing marketing research. I despise these more than all the others because they offer no end-service to me whatsoever. At least the window fscker has something to sell me.

Ass: "Hi, we're conducting a survey on what America's favorite hobbies are and were wondering if you had somewhere between 5 and 1290384 minutes to spare?"

Me: "What's your rate?"

Ass: "Our rate? What do you mean?"

Me: "What will you be paying me to help your company do research?"

Ass: "Excuse me?"

Me: "I just worked 8 hours at a REAL job and I get paid for my time. If you want me to work for your company over the next 5 to 1290384 minutes, you're going to fscking pay me for it."

Ass: "!@#$ you <click>"

Me: "Ahhh... another satisfied client."

I really hate these research firms that call you up at 6:30 Monday evening for "5 minutes" of your time - which really means 45 minutes AT LEAST - and expect you to practically work in their marketing department for free. Fsck that.
 

sao123

Lifer
May 27, 2002
12,653
205
106
Dominoes Pizza, would you like to take our customer service survey? No?
Ok may I take your order?