Getting Your Kids to Eat Like the French

[Charles Kozierok]

This is from the Huffington Post, but it's non-political and pretty interesting.

Could the notorious pickiness of young eaters be a result of too much coddling and not enough encouragement?

I have sort of mixed feelings on this. We do try to encourage our kids to try different things, but we don't force the issue, because frankly, I don't see the need to. If a 4-year-old doesn't want to eat brie or salmon or whatever, does it really matter as long as he or she is eating something else healthful?

I think pickiness is also genetic to some extent. Our oldest son will eat almost anything -- he was sharing Indian curries with us when he was two. Our youngest son is almost like that, but a bit more picky. The middle son though -- much longer list of things he won't touch.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

I read an article that showed that pregnant women in the treatment group of "drink one cup of vegetable juice a day" had children more receptive to vegetables 1 year post-partum.

I then tried to get my pregnant wife to drink vegetable juice, and she vomited every time. the "baby" didn't want it. He was a "carbs" baby, and that's his preference today.

 

[WelshBloke]

Well that article was alarming!

Apparently I'm French and was raised by French parents.

Seriously though, all that just seems like common sense and good parenting that would happen everywhere in the world. I don't think its unique to the French.

 

[randomrogue]

This is from the Huffington Post, but it's non-political and pretty interesting.

Could the notorious pickiness of young eaters be a result of too much coddling and not enough encouragement?

I have sort of mixed feelings on this. We do try to encourage our kids to try different things, but we don't force the issue, because frankly, I don't see the need to. If a 4-year-old doesn't want to eat brie or salmon or whatever, does it really matter as long as he or she is eating something else healthful?

I think pickiness is also genetic to some extent. Our oldest son will eat almost anything -- he was sharing Indian curries with us when he was two. Our youngest son is almost like that, but a bit more picky. The middle son though -- much longer list of things he won't touch.

In my family you ate what was served you or you got it for breakfast. I once got brussel sprouts for breakfast and never made that mistake again.

Today I can eat just about anything. It's great. Watching my friend's kids be picky and have the parents make multiple meals is very disappointing. It's also very unhealthy in many cases since from what I've seen the kids are not picky between one healthy food and another but are picky between healthy food and unhealthy food. You can't live your life on Mac and Cheese, Chicken Nuggets, and Spaghetti.

Raising your kids to be picky eaters is going to limit their opportunities in the future.

 

[DaveSimmons]

Is a croissant, black coffee and cigarettes really a healthy breakfast for a kid?

But seriously the article makes sense, especially about not offering a series of snacks between meals.

 

[Charles Kozierok]

FWIW, I told my 11-year-old about this story and he declared categorically that the whole idea of forcing kids to eat adult food and banning snacks was "stupid".

 

[lotus503]

my wife and I are diet fanatics. we have an 8 yea rold that is not real picky and a 3 year old that is super picky. Key is I don't give a crap, take your pick of the available healthy choices, don't want broccoli thats fien double up ont eh veggies you do like.

Occasionally the kids get treats, cookies etc but the overreaching theme is just not allowing junk and crap food in the house at all.

Were lucky my wife stays home with the kids so meals are planned and prepared vs heated up from a frozen state or a can.

 

[Doppel]

When I was a very young adult I was of the opinion that getting into an argument with children over what they'll eat is something a weak parent does. I had never heard of a child willingly starving themselves to death, and so was of the thought that if they are not given an option they will chose satiety over stubbornness.

Now that I am much older I have the exact same opinion.

I have seen some children who eat so horrendously it is amazing they aren't dead from malnutrition because their parents given them wide reign over what they eat, and believe me it's not nuts and fruit, but fries and hot dogs.

All people have preferences and some hate certain foods but the way some parents do coddle their children, who are so finicky that there's no guarantee they'll be able to eat when they go to a certain person's house are simply doing it wrong.

 

[chucky2]

I really have never understood why it is so hard for parents to simply prepare a properly balanced nutritional meal, put it on the table, serve appropriate portions of the complete meal to their children, and have the children eat it. What is the major malfunction with this? If the kid doesn't want to eat it, it's really too Fing bad for the kid. Ask the kid to eat it. When it refuses, inform the kid they will be eating it. When the kid then refuses, mash up the food, stick the kids face in it, wipe it off their face with a spoon, and then they can now eat it after wearing it.

Time to go to bed and still haven't eaten! Great! What to have for breakfast has now been solved, it can eat what it failed to eat last night.

It's like parents are fearful of what their kid wants or doesn't want...Fing ridiculous...

Chuck

 

[Charles Kozierok]

When the kid then refuses, mash up the food, stick the kids face in it, wipe it off their face with a spoon, and then they can now eat it after wearing it.

Well, the "big deal" is that some people would consider this abusive.

Would you like it if someone did that to you? Are there no foods you dislike or avoid?

Children need to be taught, not coerced. I don't think there's anything wrong with them having specific foods they don't like, and see no benefit in forcing them to eat them anyway, except once in a while so they can see if their tastes had changed. (My youngest "hated" macaroni and cheese until he was about seven. We coerced him into trying it again and suddenly he "loved" it.)

Pushing kids too hard will just cause them to rebel. Or worse, end up with longer-term problems. For example, forcing kids to "finish everything" on their plates when they say they aren't hungry -- my parents did that and it helped contribute to an overeating problem I have struggled with since childhood. (I'm not huge or anything, I just keep gaining and losing the same 30 pounds over and over again.)

I think the author here is more addressing the phenomenon of kids being given "special meals" different from adults, and not even being encouraged to eat the same foods. I do think it's bad for kids to do that, especially when "kid food" normally consists of highly-processed crap. But I think the larger message here is a different attitude to food entirely, which makes kids view it differently, rather than just coercion.

 

[chucky2]

I wouldn't consider it abusive, I'd consider it teaching the kid that they will do what they're told and to do what is expected of them. Kids will push on boundaries, it's parents job to ensure that their kids know that when they push too hard on something, there are consequences for doing so.

I too had to eat everything on my plate. The trick is, you don't fill up your entire plate heaping over the sides and thus have to eat all that. You take small portions, and thus are able to eat all of those small portions. Then, if you're still hungry, you take another small portion and finish that small portion. Etc. Etc. If your parents heaped a massive amount of food on your plate and then for 2nds/3rds again more massive portions, they did you a disservice in failing to properly teach portion control.

Chuck

 

[WelshBloke]

I wouldn't consider it abusive,...

I would.

I'd also consider it counterproductive. If a child doesn't like something I don't see how mashing it up, smearing it on their face and then making them eat it is going to teach them to like it.
It may terrify them into eating it but turning mealtimes into that sort of experience isn't really going to teach good or healthy eating habits.

 

[Jaskalas]

It's a wonder no one bothered to highlight the pointers. Perhaps to encourage us to read the entire page, but I'll do this anyway.

1. For starters, they don't let kids snack throughout the day.
2. The French serve meals in courses, vegetables first.
3. The most sacred French food rule of all is this: You just have to taste it.
4. Never let them see how desperately you want them to eat their vegetables. Keep the mood light.
5. But keep whatever the rejected food was coming back. Prepare it different ways

FWIW, I told my 11-year-old about this story and he declared categorically that the whole idea of forcing kids to eat adult food and banning snacks was "stupid".

Banning snacks is, perhaps, the most contentious, but a hungry person WILL be open to suggestion. Someone who is not will stick their nose up and walk away. I know... I'm a horrifically picky eater, and I generally agree with every point the article made.

Forcing kids to eat "adult food"? What is adult food? Food is food. Such delineation is harmful and unnecessary.

 

[randomrogue]

Well, the "big deal" is that some people would consider this abusive.

Would you like it if someone did that to you? Are there no foods you dislike or avoid?

Children need to be taught, not coerced. I don't think there's anything wrong with them having specific foods they don't like, and see no benefit in forcing them to eat them anyway, except once in a while so they can see if their tastes had changed. (My youngest "hated" macaroni and cheese until he was about seven. We coerced him into trying it again and suddenly he "loved" it.)

Pushing kids too hard will just cause them to rebel. Or worse, end up with longer-term problems. For example, forcing kids to "finish everything" on their plates when they say they aren't hungry -- my parents did that and it helped contribute to an overeating problem I have struggled with since childhood. (I'm not huge or anything, I just keep gaining and losing the same 30 pounds over and over again.)

I think the author here is more addressing the phenomenon of kids being given "special meals" different from adults, and not even being encouraged to eat the same foods. I do think it's bad for kids to do that, especially when "kid food" normally consists of highly-processed crap. But I think the larger message here is a different attitude to food entirely, which makes kids view it differently, rather than just coercion.

It's not abusive to make your kids eat what is served. Attacking them with the food is a bit much though unless they're a baby.

Letting kids chose their diet will almost never end well. Why in the world would you force your kids to eat something as non-nutritious as mac and cheese though? That's the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do.

I have never heard of someone rebelling unless they have asbergers or are autistic. It's food. If you make a healthy meal and don't give them a choice they will eat it. Overeating is not an issue unless you put too much food on their plate. We were raised to take seconds if we wanted more, not to take one incredibly large portion where food was wasted.

I made dinner for a friend and her family tonight. I had a list of things I wasn't allowed to prepare and what I did make was limited since I couldn't make it with certain ingredients or spices. I made it taste good but not nearly as good as it could have been and it was missing several vegetables.

As a kid I remember several of my friends freaking out when they came over for dinner since they couldn't eat a hotdog or hamburger for dinner. My mother was not going to take that shit. All of them got used to her cooking quick though and came over all the time. Good home cooked meals just dominate what most people eat unfortunately and your body knows this if you just give it a chance.

 

[DrPizza]

I really have never understood why it is so hard for parents to simply prepare a properly balanced nutritional meal, put it on the table, serve appropriate portions of the complete meal to their children, and have the children eat it. What is the major malfunction with this?

I believe that part of the difficulty in doing this is that parents feel a pressure to have their children engaged in as many activities as possible. So, with two kids, you're juggling soccer practice with piano lessons, kids homework, etc. It's very easy to have a schedule such that there simply isn't one consecutive hour of free time between 3pm and 8pm. On top of that, look at the parents who are working two jobs, not working 8 to 5, etc.

 

[Charles Kozierok]

It's a wonder no one bothered to highlight the pointers. Perhaps to encourage us to read the entire page, but I'll do this anyway.

Thanks. The full context is important.

Banning snacks is, perhaps, the most contentious, but a hungry person WILL be open to suggestion. Someone who is not will stick their nose up and walk away. I know... I'm a horrifically picky eater, and I generally agree with every point the article made.

I agree. I snack too much myself, and I think most people do.

My kids constantly come up to me and ask if they can have a snack late afternoon, sometimes even as I'm making dinner. Going to do more from now on to discourage it.

Forcing kids to eat "adult food"? What is adult food? Food is food. Such delineation is harmful and unnecessary.

Really? You don't think there are naturally certain foods that have more of a "grown up" appeal than others, and it's entirely a social construction?

I dunno about that. I think even these French kids raised on "adult food" would, given the choice between pizza or steamed salmon on a bed of arugula with a balsamic reduction, would go for the pizza. I wouldn't, though.

Parenting is always a contentious issue. I do understand wanting to convince kids to do what they're supposed to, but I would stop well short of rubbing their faces in it. That's just disrespectful, and treating others respectfully is an even more important lesson.

 

[SMOGZINN]

I would.

I'd also consider it counterproductive. If a child doesn't like something I don't see how mashing it up, smearing it on their face and then making them eat it is going to teach them to like it.
It may terrify them into eating it but turning mealtimes into that sort of experience isn't really going to teach good or healthy eating habits.

I agree, and then what you are really teaching them is not 'eat your vegetables' but 'dread dinner time'. It will become one of those things they banish as soon as they get the agency to do so and will instead grab what ever is easy to eat on the go.

 

[waggy]

It's a wonder no one bothered to highlight the pointers. Perhaps to encourage us to read the entire page, but I'll do this anyway.

1. For starters, they don't let kids snack throughout the day.
2. The French serve meals in courses, vegetables first.
3. The most sacred French food rule of all is this: You just have to taste it.
4. Never let them see how desperately you want them to eat their vegetables. Keep the mood light.
5. But keep whatever the rejected food was coming back. Prepare it different ways

Banning snacks is, perhaps, the most contentious, but a hungry person WILL be open to suggestion. Someone who is not will stick their nose up and walk away. I know... I'm a horrifically picky eater, and I generally agree with every point the article made.

Forcing kids to eat "adult food"? What is adult food? Food is food. Such delineation is harmful and unnecessary.

hmm we fallow most of these. figured most are common sense.

1) the snacking thing. my kids get a snack when they get home from school and after dinner. When they have practice we take snacks.

2) we serve veggies with every meal. no big deal my kids actually like most of them.

3) We have a rule. WHATEVER we make they have to try a bite. they don't like it? fine. But no matter if they have tried it once or 4 times they need to try it. they have changed there minds on food a few times.


YES there are adult foods just as there are kid friendly foods.

 

[Jaskalas]

hmm we fallow most of these. figured most are common sense.

Not exactly. Snacking, sure... but I'm picturing the purpose to be for when they are young and/or trying new foods. Let them develop a snacking habit later if they are already eating well.

Serving veggies is one thing. A key aspect, IMO, is that it's the first course. You do not give them the option to pick and choose meat / carbs over them at the same time.

As for tasting... well, there are parents akin to grammar nazis. You know, got to clean your plate before you're allowed to leave the table. They make it an all out hostile war at the dinner table. Not a friendly "keep tasting it, maybe you'll like it one day" crowd.

There are plenty of American parents who view it as common sense to rule by fear. Eat the veggies OR ELSE!!!

YES there are adult foods just as there are kid friendly foods.

For toddlers and under perhaps... otherwise, why wouldn't it be the same meal with a smaller portion? An 11 year old should certainly be past the age of having something prepared separately.

 

[randomrogue]

The only meal I never had to eat was escargot. I didn't have that until a few years ago. There were a few bitter dishes that I tasted but didn't have to eat much of either. Bitter Cabbage dishes for example.

My Italian friends serve 5 course meals to their children at the age of 2.

 

[chucky2]

I would.

I'd also consider it counterproductive. If a child doesn't like something I don't see how mashing it up, smearing it on their face and then making them eat it is going to teach them to like it.
It may terrify them into eating it but turning mealtimes into that sort of experience isn't really going to teach good or healthy eating habits.

It won't teach them to like it. It will teach them to sit down at the dinner table and eat their meal like they're supposed to. What is served is supposed to be healthy or appropriate to eat - that is what they will learn. As for being terrified, when their stomach hurts enough from hunger I'm sure they'll eat.

It's not a debate, it's dinner. Eat it.

Chuck

 

[Codewiz]

I really have never understood why it is so hard for parents to simply prepare a properly balanced nutritional meal, put it on the table, serve appropriate portions of the complete meal to their children, and have the children eat it. What is the major malfunction with this? If the kid doesn't want to eat it, it's really too Fing bad for the kid. Ask the kid to eat it. When it refuses, inform the kid they will be eating it. When the kid then refuses, mash up the food, stick the kids face in it, wipe it off their face with a spoon, and then they can now eat it after wearing it.

Time to go to bed and still haven't eaten! Great! What to have for breakfast has now been solved, it can eat what it failed to eat last night.

It's like parents are fearful of what their kid wants or doesn't want...Fing ridiculous...

Chuck

One of two things wrong here. Either you don't have kids........

Or you have a stay at home parent.

My wife and I both work. I can fight at the dinner table every night, or I can just let it go. We don't cook multiple meals but I am not going to make every night a battle.

Additionally, since he is in school or daycare, he eats there. So saving it for the future does no good.

I am not going to physically assault my child by forcing food in the mouth. If my son doesn't want it, so be it but he gets nothing else.

Guess what? My son is a picky eater. I would say that 60% of the time, he refuses to eat most of his dinner but he is not allowed to get seconds of anything that I don't deem healthy.

For instance, he loves starches like mashed potatoes. If we are eating country style steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans, he can't eat all the potatoes and get more so that he can ignore the beans and meat. If he wants more mashed potatoes, he has to eat everything on his plate. For seconds, he can pick and choose.

He rarely gets seconds because he is a stubborn mule.

Additionally, it has been shown that most kids need to see something about 8-10 times before they will even really want to try it. I am fine with that. Again, he just don't get to eat if he doesn't eat what is on the table but forcing food solves nothing.

 

[WelshBloke]

It won't teach them to like it. It will teach them to sit down at the dinner table and eat their meal like they're supposed to. What is served is supposed to be healthy or appropriate to eat - that is what they will learn. As for being terrified, when their stomach hurts enough from hunger I'm sure they'll eat.

It's not a debate, it's dinner. Eat it.

Chuck

So basically teach them to eat whatever crap is put in front of them just because its there.

They won't learn anything about food being healthy or appropriate. They'll learn not to think about whats in front of them and chow down.

Far better to do it like the article in the OP.

 

[chucky2]

So basically teach them to eat whatever crap is put in front of them just because its there.

They won't learn anything about food being healthy or appropriate. They'll learn not to think about whats in front of them and chow down.

Far better to do it like the article in the OP.

What are you talking about? Whatever on the table is healthy. How would they not learn to eat healthy things by eating healthy things?

 

[SMOGZINN]

For toddlers and under perhaps... otherwise, why wouldn't it be the same meal with a smaller portion? An 11 year old should certainly be past the age of having something prepared separately.

Children's palettes are different then adults. For one they are much simpler. While you might be able to appreciate the textures and subtle flavors of roast asparagus, to a child it is just squishy and bitter. That brings me to something else, children are biologically dispositioned to avoid bitter flavors. We learn to enjoy them, but biologically it triggers a poison warning.

It is also probably the first time they have ever encountered that food. To much too fast can overload their curiosity leaving them feeling overwhelmed.

It won't teach them to like it. It will teach them to sit down at the dinner table and eat their meal like they're supposed to.

You are actually teaching the opposite of what you want. You are teaching that healthy food is something that must be endured. As soon as you are not there to make them each healthy they will realize they no longer have to endure it and will drop what has become a hated ritual.