Getting the facts straight

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This link is for poor confused individuals like myself to get the facts straight!

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Here are some quick facts about fact maker, Chuck Norris (copied from the linked site)

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris? beard. There is only another fist.

• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down.

• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

• Chuck Norris? hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

• There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

• Chuck Norris doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

• Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Enjoy!


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Chuck Norris type jokes have earned others vacations.

Anandtech Moderator