Getting married - Creating a Department for Division of Financial Resources

[Turin39789]

I've posted before about the getting married bit. Weee.


We're starting to think about combining our finances. Currently I pay our rent every month, she pays the utilities and some other stuff, and then at the end of the month cuts me a check for her half of the rent - utilities.

And otherwise we end up checking out separately at the grocery, and either splitting our checks or I pick it up.

Doesn't make so much sense anymore. Anyone have recommendations of systems for combining finances? We picked up an Amex Blue card to put joint purchases on. I had the card years ago before I killed my credit and loved it. Great consumer protection, but we're finding places that don't take amex, then we have to go back to thinking about splitting up the costs.

X percent into individual savings
X percent into joint savings
X percent into indiv checking
X percent into joint checking

?

 

[Scarpozzi]

As long as you've both got money coming in and you know your monthly expenditures, that's fine.

I've been married almost 2 years now and we're still separate. I've got my account and she's on our joint account. We do this simply because she is in school and we only have 1 income to work with. When my check comes in for the month (yeah...I'm paid monthly), it gets divided from my checking account into 4 different accounts through recurring scheduled bank transfers. (mortgage, savings, her checking, auto loan)

 

[SpunkyJones]

Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

 

[JTsyo]

That seems like a lot of work. We just have a joint account and everything goes into it and out of it.

 

[meltdown75]

i pretty much agree with Spunky on this one.

we have our own personal accounts but the "house account" is what we use to pay bills, mortgages, groceries and misc house expenditures.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

I used to have the same question, and I think it might come down to how much people are willing to control their spending. If you have an account where you know exactly how much there is, I guess it's easier to budget your expenses.

Personally, I think both both should have everything in the same accounts.

 

[RedRooster]

Eff that noise, she's not getting clothes money out of my paycheques! :laugh:

We're seperate, I do mortgage/property tax, she gets utilities/groceries/etc. It works fine, although I have a sneaking suspicion she's spending more with her share than I am with mine. Hell of a wife.

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

exaclty. Marriage is a team effort. There's no more "this is yours, this is mine".

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

exaclty. Marriage is a team effort. There's no more "this is yours, this is mine".

My wife and I still split up the costs, been married 5 years.

There used to be a number of reasons for it - primarily because we held on to my old duplex to rent for a couple years after we got hitched and leaving the financial setup for that alone made sense.

Since selling it, there's no real reason for keeping everything separate (except she likes her bank, and I like mine ), but we still are. It works for us - we still work as a team on things, discuss large/unusual spends, etc.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: RedRooster
Eff that noise, she's not getting clothes money out of my paycheques! :laugh:

We're seperate, I do mortgage/property tax, she gets utilities/groceries/etc. It works fine, although I have a sneaking suspicion she's spending more with her share than I am with mine. Hell of a wife.

wow that's an odd setup. here's to low property tax & mortgage rates :beer:

 

[Scarpozzi]

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

We do it for now because we were married only 8 months before she started grad school 130 miles away. She had an account at my bank that was in her maiden name. We got a joint account through my credit union and she closed her account.

The problem is that both of us have had separate living expenses....so we haven't been able to keep track of what the other is doing. I have been sending her enough to cover food, books, rent, utilities, etc... It's almost easier just to keep it separate since I'm having to manage the same thing at home. When she moves back in this August, we'll change how we do things.

 

[mrrman]

Originally posted by: JTsyo
That seems like a lot of work. We just have a joint account and everything goes into it and out of it.

I am going through this now...just bought a house for $855k and we combined accounts

 

[BornStar]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

We do it for now because we were married only 8 months before she started grad school 130 miles away. She had an account at my bank that was in her maiden name. We got a joint account through my credit union and she closed her account.

The problem is that both of us have had separate living expenses....so we haven't been able to keep track of what the other is doing. I have been sending her enough to cover food, books, rent, utilities, etc... It's almost easier just to keep it separate since I'm having to manage the same thing at home. When she moves back in this August, we'll change how we do things.

Wow, your living situation sounds incredibly similar to mine. Being that we're living on a single income (have been for the past two year and will continue to for at least another year) we pay everything out of a joint account. It can make things interesting at times but overall it's working for us.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

exaclty. Marriage is a team effort. There's no more "this is yours, this is mine".

these threads have been made a bunch on ATOT. I'm always amazed at the number of people that have separate accounts. It just doesn't make sense to me. You make this marriage commitment to somebody (for life theoretically) but "ta hell if I'm sharing my money with them!!!"

 

[vi edit]

I never understood the split account things for married people. You live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, crap in the same toilet. Ect. There are no "his costs" or "her costs" when it comes to being married.

Just dump paychecks into the same account and be done with it. If you *really* want to get granular about his/hers money then set up an allowance system where you set aside $XXX dollars a month for fun money that you spend on you and only you.

 

[aldamon]

We have pooled our funds since day 1. Of course, we were dirt poor after college, so our net worth was a combined $700 to start as well.

 

[Dirigible]

Originally posted by: vi edit
I never understood the split account things for married people. You live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, crap in the same toilet. Ect. There are no "his costs" or "her costs" when it comes to being married.

Just dump paychecks into the same account and be done with it. If you *really* want to get granular about his/hers money then set up an allowance system where you set aside $XXX dollars a month for fun money that you spend on you and only you.

That's what my wife and I do. All money goes into common account. Normal expenses (house, food, utilities, etc.) are paid from that account.

We each get a monthly allowance for our separate expenses (clothes, hobbies, whatever) into a separate account. We each spend that money however we want. That way I don't know about and don't get annoyed when she makes ridiculous choices and spends money on silly things, and the amount of money she can waste is limited. Plus, she doesn't baselessly protest against my important bicycle purchases. Sadly, the amount I have available for my cutting edge electric car conversion project is limited.

 

[Squisher]

Yeah, there is no yours, mine, ours in our arrangement.

Although, we each have defined roles, my wife spends the money and I pay and complain about the bills.

 

[MrChad]

A joint account is so much simpler to manage. We both understand our monthly budget, don't spend money on frivolous things and discuss big purchases before we make them. No need for allowances or separate accounts.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: MrChad
A joint account is so much simpler to manage. We both understand our monthly budget, don't spend money on frivolous things and discuss big purchases before we make them. No need for allowances or separate accounts.

100% hands down totally agree.

You two are supposed to be best friends and best buddies - if you can't trust each other with finances, then what the heck?

I never understood people who keep them separate, but that's just my opinion.

Joint account for deposit and bills, pay everything out of it, separate accounts if you want to for the heck of it for personal spending if you want.

Just my .02

 

[MaxDepth]

All you monies belong to her now.


that being said, a joint inerest bearing account is a good place for all your house bills (rent/mortgage, elec, gas, water, property tax, etc)

 

[amdskip]

When I get married there will be 1 account for everything, we've already discussed this. She has a friend that has a joint account and then each has their individual account which is silly because he was a finance major.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: MrChad
A joint account is so much simpler to manage. We both understand our monthly budget, don't spend money on frivolous things and discuss big purchases before we make them. No need for allowances or separate accounts.

We just do the allowance thing for two reasons. 1) It makes us really consider what we spend our money on. And 2) we can't rag on each other for buying stuff that seems like trash to the other person.

We allow ourselves $200 a month for whatever we want. If my wife wants to spend it all on expensive coffee at work and three different purses, that's fine.

Same goes for me - I use mine to buy expensive beers and video games or save up and buy more expensive electronic toys.

 

[RaistlinZ]

Originally posted by: mjuszczak

Originally posted by: MrChad
A joint account is so much simpler to manage. We both understand our monthly budget, don't spend money on frivolous things and discuss big purchases before we make them. No need for allowances or separate accounts.

100% hands down totally agree.

You two are supposed to be best friends and best buddies - if you can't trust each other with finances, then what the heck?

I never understood people who keep them separate, but that's just my opinion.

Joint account for deposit and bills, pay everything out of it, separate accounts if you want to for the heck of it for personal spending if you want.

Just my .02

Just because some couples use 2-3 accounts for different things doesn't mean they aren't "the best of friends and buddies" or that they don't love each other. They shouldn't be condemned for it just because it works out better for them. :roll: Sheesh, get off your high horses people.

 

[CountZero]

Originally posted by: Homerboy

Originally posted by: CPA

Originally posted by: SpunkyJones
Why split up the costs? Your a team now. My wife and I simply dump all income into the same checking/savings account, and pay everything out of there.

exaclty. Marriage is a team effort. There's no more "this is yours, this is mine".

these threads have been made a bunch on ATOT. I'm always amazed at the number of people that have separate accounts. It just doesn't make sense to me. You make this marriage commitment to somebody (for life theoretically) but "ta hell if I'm sharing my money with them!!!"

Actually the key to marriage is to do what works for that couple, if that means separating finances at some level then thats what works for them.

Nobody should be completely assimilated even in marriage. You should have your time and your stuff and they should as well. Maybe for some people this extends to finances and for others it doesn't.