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Get revenge on telemarketers and junk/ad mailers!!!

FrugalGuy

Senior member
here's some great advice on how to get back at those telemarketers and junk mailers

1) I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone solicitors weren't able to call people at home during dinner hour, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant.

Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has proposed three little words, based on his brief experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time.

They are, "Hold on, please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that sales boiler rooms would grind to a halt.

When you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your hand set, which has efficiently completed its task ... Just three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.

2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system.

Since doing this, our phone calls have decreased dramatically.

3) Another Good Idea:

When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment; let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these are postage-paid return envelopes, right?

Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes? Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing!


Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting their own junk back in the mail.

Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and the best of all they're paying for it...twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again.

This might be one of those articles ("junk E-Mails") that you'll want to forward to your friends. Send this to a friend ... or two .... or three...or fifty! Maybe if enough people follow these tips, it might work
 
Why pick on an innocent script monkey who hates their job more than you do? Ever consider what it's like to be them for a day?
 
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
Why pick on an innocent script monkey who hates their job more than you do? Ever consider what it's like to be them for a day?
Exactly what I was thinking.

 
Originally posted by: amdskip
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
Why pick on an innocent script monkey who hates their job more than you do? Ever consider what it's like to be them for a day?
Exactly what I was thinking.

I *was* one for a day.

Worst. Job. Ever.

The only reason to stay at a job like that is if you have no soul.

Script monkeys can go to hell. A pox on you if you support them. Assball. 😀
 
My favorite thing to do to a telemarketer comes from David Letterman:

"As the telemarketer goes into their spiel "hello, mr. Letterman, im calling you today to inform you..." as soon as they say that yell "Oh my God! I won the TV!"... the telemarketer will be confused for a second and say something like "No, sir. We are here to offer you the fine advantages that come with our new VISA card" then you say something to the effect of "Naw, you're just pulling my leg now. So how big is the tv?" They will get irked a little and repeat themselves saying "Really sir, this is VISA calling. You did not win a tv, but we can offer you a low interest rating of blah blah blah" Then you reply "I really didnt get the tv? I am so disappointed now" and then hang up. I tried it twice and both times worked great.

Or you could do the method that was on Seinfeld... "Hi. Mr. seinfled? Would you be interested in a lifetime subscription to the New York Times?" "Yes." (hangup)

Both are great to use. Gives me my cheap laugh for the day.

Matt
 
I made a post like this a few weeks ago. Basically once I determine they're a telemarketer, I just put the phone down quietly and go do something else. I did that that one particular time, picked up the phone 6 minutes later and they were still talking. I put the phone down and waited an addtional 3 minutes to hear the guy saying: "Hello? Hello?" at which point I just hung up. I wasted 9 minutes of that bastard's time 😀
 
Originally posted by: MartyMcFly3
My favorite thing to do to a telemarketer comes from David Letterman:

"As the telemarketer goes into their spiel "hello, mr. Letterman, im calling you today to inform you..." as soon as they say that yell "Oh my God! I won the TV!"... the telemarketer will be confused for a second and say something like "No, sir. We are here to offer you the fine advantages that come with our new VISA card" then you say something to the effect of "Naw, you're just pulling my leg now. So how big is the tv?" They will get irked a little and repeat themselves saying "Really sir, this is VISA calling. You did not win a tv, but we can offer you a low interest rating of blah blah blah" Then you reply "I really didnt get the tv? I am so disappointed now" and then hang up. I tried it twice and both times worked great.

Or you could do the method that was on Seinfeld... "Hi. Mr. seinfled? Would you be interested in a lifetime subscription to the New York Times?" "Yes." (hangup)

Both are great to use. Gives me my cheap laugh for the day.

Matt

I like the other one Seinfeld used:

"Um, listen, I'm really very interested but I have to run out right now. How about you give me your home phone number and I'll call you back later tonight.... What? Why not?.... Oh, so you're saying you don't want people calling you at home about subscriptions?... Now you know how I feel." *hangup*

😀
 
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
Why pick on an innocent script monkey who hates their job more than you do? Ever consider what it's like to be them for a day?

I've been on the receiving end of direct mail campaigns. Sending back the postage paid is meaningless. It took me two seconds to toss into the garbage, never to be seen again. and if anyone thinks that it really makes a difference in postage cost for the company...well the postage bills are millions of dollars. an extra $1 isn't going to make a huge difference.
 
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
Why pick on an innocent script monkey who hates their job more than you do? Ever consider what it's like to be them for a day?

how are they innocent? maybe those 'script monkeys' could find a decent job and not waste other people's time for a change.
 
Originally posted by: kleinesarschloch
Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation
Why pick on an innocent script monkey who hates their job more than you do? Ever consider what it's like to be them for a day?

how are they innocent? maybe those 'script monkeys' could find a decent job and not waste other people's time for a change.

in the same breath i bet you hate homeless, and bitch about the unemployment rate. at least they make an attempt to get a job.
 
in the same breath i bet you hate homeless, and bitch about the unemployment rate. at least they make an attempt to get a job.

what do the homeless have to do with telemarketers? as for making an attempt to get a job, maybe they could direct that effort into a productive job, not a parasitical one. i, for one, would rather be flipping burgers at mcd's than bother people at home.

 
Perhaps they make more money doing cold calls? Maybe some of them have families to support and can't manage to do that with $6/hr at McDonald's? Maybe the company they work for offers benefits, where as MCD's doesn't?
 
I was thinking about those pre-paid credit card ones but I wondered is there some silly law that says that you can't use their pre-paid envelopes in that manner? Ie, to screw them out of money or what? You never know with things like that if there is something silly going on. I know that capital one at least encodes their envelopes so that if you did this they'd flag you and stop sending you junk mail.
 
I don't believe those of you saying you've kept telemarketers on the line for more then 5 minutes if you're not there. MAYBE if their script takes 5 minutes to read, but in my experience, after a moderatly long silent period (ie: 1 minute is usually the max), the telemarketer hangs up. They're instructed to do so anymore. This isn't really a new thing either, when I was a wee lad, they'd call and ask for one of my parents, by the time I'd set the phone down and find them (big house), the telemarketer would have hung up.
 
Originally posted by: MrBond
I don't believe those of you saying you've kept telemarketers on the line for more then 5 minutes if you're not there. MAYBE if their script takes 5 minutes to read, but in my experience, after a moderatly long silent period (ie: 1 minute is usually the max), the telemarketer hangs up. They're instructed to do so anymore. This isn't really a new thing either, when I was a wee lad, they'd call and ask for one of my parents, by the time I'd set the phone down and find them (big house), the telemarketer would have hung up.

Instead of saying 'Please Hold' say ' Remove me from your call list.'

Then, if you want you can either hang up or put the phone down. At least this way you have a better chance (no guarantee by far) of not hearing from them again. Saying 'hold' will just get you a call back later.
 
Originally posted by: MartyMcFly3
Or you could do the method that was on Seinfeld... "Hi. Mr. seinfled? Would you be interested in a lifetime subscription to the New York Times?" "Yes." (hangup)
Matt


By pure chance, that episode was on here last night 🙂

You could also just play some really really loud pr0n in the background 🙂
 
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