- Mar 8, 2003
- 38,416
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In the waning days of Skywalker66?s virtual life, he soon discovered that the pressure put onto him to leave Anandtech was far greater than any help that he had received from ATOT. What had started as a way to speak about his problems in an anonymous manor had become more upsetting than helpful. No one seemed to take his questions seriously and thus he became very said, his only perceived friend of ATOT was not the warm and loving companion that he had sought after.
A voice came calling to Skywalker66 one night, ?Skywalker?.. Leave thy forum and come follow me.? Skywalker awoke from his dream, knowing that a higher force had called him into its service. That day, Skywalker posted his final thread and was banned. Apparently, his previous collection of threads was not enough to get him banned. ?Post something that you know will get you banned this time. Once you have broken thy chains, thou may come and follow me.?
The voice became very clear in Skywalker?s head even during the day now. The voice was his new friend. No longer was he dependent on ATOT for support, the voice always paid attention and never belittled him. The voice directed Skywalker to do something drastic one day, ?Go forth and study religion. Study Islam and embrace it, for you see, it will be the true path for you to find love.?
Skywalker headed the words of the voice and began studying Islam. He visited many of the most fanatical sites on the internet. His studies made his grades sink, but he did not care. He learned the ways of Islam and began to practice them to the letter. ?Excellent, my child, you see now that you will gain 74 virgins all to yourself if you only serve and slay the opponents of Islam, I will guide you?..?
Venturing down the street as the voice had instructed him, Skywalker walked into a back alley and found a strange door with Arabic writing on it. He opened the door and the voice said, ?this is where I want you, do as they tell you to do and the 74 virgins shall be yours!? Skywalker thought, ?is this really the write way?? to kill myself in the service of Islam? Is this the only way that I can discover the love of a woman?? His thoughts came to a halt when a man greeted him and identified himself as the local leader of what was known as a terrorist cell. Skywalker followed the voices orders, knowing it was the only way, and soon the man taught him the very short lesson on how to use a chest bomb.
?There is a very sinful party going on tomorrow. One that you are familiar with, it is occurring at your old college of infidels. They are having a "stoplight party" that needs to be made an example of. My superiors have told me to find one worthy to crash it. Your training has gone very well and I am sure you will make Allah very proud. Here, take this device, strap it to your built. It is enough to slay all of the infidel sinners within a 35 yard radius. The only thing that you need to do is unzip your pants, the explosion will then happen instantly. You will feel no pain and you will have your 74 virgins in heaven. Here, try the device on and see if it stays concealed under your belt.?
Skywalker put the explosive device on as well as the special pants. The special pants with the zipper that came with them was rather tight, but the man insisted that skywalker sleep in the pants, as the device had to be so complicatedly setup that he doubted skywalker could do it. The man gave Skywalker the invitation to the party and told him that he had made reservations for him at the local luxury hotel to spend his last night on earth well.
Skywalker left the building and went to the hotel, for the man said that the FBI was on his trail and that he must return to his homeland at once. At the hotel, skywalker began to worry, maybe his plan of actions was not the right thing to do. Finally, the voice came to him again, ?you have done well my child, you will be with me soon.? This reassured Skywalker only a little, he soon became depressed and left the apartment to get drunk in a tavern nearby. He figured that his future actions will help to justify the sin of alcohol consumption.
After a few drinks, a rather attractive woman (only to the drunk) sat down and began to talk to Skywalker. Skywalker, being intoxicated and lonely, enjoyed a chat with her. ?I am on a mission from God,? said Skywalker. ?mmmmmm, maybe I can help you in this mission,? said the woman and began to rub Skywalkers back. ?Maybe you can?.. want to come back to the hotel room for us to discuss it?? Skywalker asked. The beer seems to have made Skywalker bold amongst women. The first woman that he has ever asked out was about to accompany him back to his hotel room. They left the bar together and returned to the hotel room together.
Skywalker sat down in the chair as the woman began to dance for him. The voice?s words had come true, but in a manner that he had not expected. The woman kneeled before him and said, ?lets have some fun.? Skywalker knew that he must not do what the terrorist had told him to do. He was not a terrorist. The voice in his head wanted him to shed innocent blood. But, as these thoughts of redemption were going through his head, the lady unzipped his pants.
The explosion took out the entire floor of the apartment building. Skywalker was killed instantly. A white light appeared below him and he quickly fell into it. The room was solid white, save a door. The door would not open, but after what seemed like days, the strangest of men appeared. Skywalker recognized the voice immediately as the one who had spoken to him all this time, even unto the time he left ATOT. Skywalker said, ?are you god??
The man said, ?Not exactly, but I worked for one once. Well, in a less liked department. You can call me JLGatsby. I am here to meet a quota. Since you did not carry out the plan of crashing the stoplight party, you must pay the penalty. YOU shall be one of the 74 virgins that will be given to our next martyr!?
Skywalker gasped, ?NO, how could?.. wait? your sick man! Your sick! I die and go to this place, is this hell? JLGatsby, what are you?? ?What I am is not important, some think of me as a troll on your forums, but I am far more than that. You see, I work in other worlds as well and serve a more powerful master than Anand himself,? finished JLGatsby. ?You failed Skywalker, you were tempted by the harlot with the special pants on, now you must pay the price and be one of the virgins given unto our next man, who died for the cause in prison right about?? now?
Skywalker was soon lifted from the room by some unknown force and thrown down deep below in some kind of giant room of cushions?. ?Have fun with him, he has been very lonely all these years, make me proud boy!? yelled JLGatsby as Skywalker lay crying on a cushion, waiting for his eternity.
A voice came calling to Skywalker66 one night, ?Skywalker?.. Leave thy forum and come follow me.? Skywalker awoke from his dream, knowing that a higher force had called him into its service. That day, Skywalker posted his final thread and was banned. Apparently, his previous collection of threads was not enough to get him banned. ?Post something that you know will get you banned this time. Once you have broken thy chains, thou may come and follow me.?
The voice became very clear in Skywalker?s head even during the day now. The voice was his new friend. No longer was he dependent on ATOT for support, the voice always paid attention and never belittled him. The voice directed Skywalker to do something drastic one day, ?Go forth and study religion. Study Islam and embrace it, for you see, it will be the true path for you to find love.?
Skywalker headed the words of the voice and began studying Islam. He visited many of the most fanatical sites on the internet. His studies made his grades sink, but he did not care. He learned the ways of Islam and began to practice them to the letter. ?Excellent, my child, you see now that you will gain 74 virgins all to yourself if you only serve and slay the opponents of Islam, I will guide you?..?
Venturing down the street as the voice had instructed him, Skywalker walked into a back alley and found a strange door with Arabic writing on it. He opened the door and the voice said, ?this is where I want you, do as they tell you to do and the 74 virgins shall be yours!? Skywalker thought, ?is this really the write way?? to kill myself in the service of Islam? Is this the only way that I can discover the love of a woman?? His thoughts came to a halt when a man greeted him and identified himself as the local leader of what was known as a terrorist cell. Skywalker followed the voices orders, knowing it was the only way, and soon the man taught him the very short lesson on how to use a chest bomb.
?There is a very sinful party going on tomorrow. One that you are familiar with, it is occurring at your old college of infidels. They are having a "stoplight party" that needs to be made an example of. My superiors have told me to find one worthy to crash it. Your training has gone very well and I am sure you will make Allah very proud. Here, take this device, strap it to your built. It is enough to slay all of the infidel sinners within a 35 yard radius. The only thing that you need to do is unzip your pants, the explosion will then happen instantly. You will feel no pain and you will have your 74 virgins in heaven. Here, try the device on and see if it stays concealed under your belt.?
Skywalker put the explosive device on as well as the special pants. The special pants with the zipper that came with them was rather tight, but the man insisted that skywalker sleep in the pants, as the device had to be so complicatedly setup that he doubted skywalker could do it. The man gave Skywalker the invitation to the party and told him that he had made reservations for him at the local luxury hotel to spend his last night on earth well.
Skywalker left the building and went to the hotel, for the man said that the FBI was on his trail and that he must return to his homeland at once. At the hotel, skywalker began to worry, maybe his plan of actions was not the right thing to do. Finally, the voice came to him again, ?you have done well my child, you will be with me soon.? This reassured Skywalker only a little, he soon became depressed and left the apartment to get drunk in a tavern nearby. He figured that his future actions will help to justify the sin of alcohol consumption.
After a few drinks, a rather attractive woman (only to the drunk) sat down and began to talk to Skywalker. Skywalker, being intoxicated and lonely, enjoyed a chat with her. ?I am on a mission from God,? said Skywalker. ?mmmmmm, maybe I can help you in this mission,? said the woman and began to rub Skywalkers back. ?Maybe you can?.. want to come back to the hotel room for us to discuss it?? Skywalker asked. The beer seems to have made Skywalker bold amongst women. The first woman that he has ever asked out was about to accompany him back to his hotel room. They left the bar together and returned to the hotel room together.
Skywalker sat down in the chair as the woman began to dance for him. The voice?s words had come true, but in a manner that he had not expected. The woman kneeled before him and said, ?lets have some fun.? Skywalker knew that he must not do what the terrorist had told him to do. He was not a terrorist. The voice in his head wanted him to shed innocent blood. But, as these thoughts of redemption were going through his head, the lady unzipped his pants.
The explosion took out the entire floor of the apartment building. Skywalker was killed instantly. A white light appeared below him and he quickly fell into it. The room was solid white, save a door. The door would not open, but after what seemed like days, the strangest of men appeared. Skywalker recognized the voice immediately as the one who had spoken to him all this time, even unto the time he left ATOT. Skywalker said, ?are you god??
The man said, ?Not exactly, but I worked for one once. Well, in a less liked department. You can call me JLGatsby. I am here to meet a quota. Since you did not carry out the plan of crashing the stoplight party, you must pay the penalty. YOU shall be one of the 74 virgins that will be given to our next martyr!?
Skywalker gasped, ?NO, how could?.. wait? your sick man! Your sick! I die and go to this place, is this hell? JLGatsby, what are you?? ?What I am is not important, some think of me as a troll on your forums, but I am far more than that. You see, I work in other worlds as well and serve a more powerful master than Anand himself,? finished JLGatsby. ?You failed Skywalker, you were tempted by the harlot with the special pants on, now you must pay the price and be one of the virgins given unto our next man, who died for the cause in prison right about?? now?
Skywalker was soon lifted from the room by some unknown force and thrown down deep below in some kind of giant room of cushions?. ?Have fun with him, he has been very lonely all these years, make me proud boy!? yelled JLGatsby as Skywalker lay crying on a cushion, waiting for his eternity.
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