NikPreviousAcct
No Lifer
<< A lady had been married to a farmer all of her life. They had cows and horses on their farm and also grew a number of crops for sale at the local farmers market. While shopping at the local grocery store for a few items that she and her husband did not raise or grow for themselves, she came across a contest form while in the store. So she completed their jingle and mailed it off to the Carnation Milk Company in an effort to win a cash prize which had been offered for the best entry regarding those little cans of milk found on grocery shelves.
Carnation had furnished the first line of jingle with these words, "I like Carnation best of all ...." and the submitter had only to complete the remainder of the jingle on their entry form.
Each contestant could only use 50 words or less. A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk representative came to her door and told her that her entry was the best one submitted. However it was unfortunate that the company could not publish it. In lieu of that latter fact, they had decided that her entry was worth at least a consolation award and provided her with a company check in the amount of $1,000 for her creativity. Here is her entry:
I like Carnation best of all,
No tits to pull, no sh!t to haul.
No barns to clean, no hay to pitch,
Just punch a hole in the son of a bitch. >>
