Funny Moments at a Funeral

[MotionMan]

My brother-in-law's grandfather recently passed away after a long illness. The service at the cemetery was yesterday. The number of attendees was not nearly enough to fill the chapel (a larger memorial service is this weekend). As people arrived they all proceeded to fill in the pews on the left side (behind where all the children of the deceased were sitting).

My brother-in-law points out the fact that everyone is sitting on one side, pauses, and then says, in a not so quiet voice:

"We must all be here for the groom."

The whole room burst out in polite laughter. The family is all very cool and it was just the thing they all needed.


Another funny thing that happened was that the grandfather's doctor never faxed to the mortuary a copy of the signed death certificate. Apparently, they won't bury you without one. Luckily, one of the children's husband is a doctor, so he ended up signing the death certificate. We had a good laugh about that, too.


Have you ever experienced a semi-appropriate funny moment at a funeral?

MotionMan

 

[child of wonder]

This wasn't at the funeral, but before. After my grandfather died, we all went to the funeral home for the viewing and to plan things. My uncle, the 2nd youngest out of 7, apparently was constantly haggling with the funeral home on costs regarding everything.

When the funeral director was instructing us on where to go for the funeral and that the hearse would be meeting us there, the funeral director (who had a good rapport with the family) jokingly remarked "and, no, Andy, you can't haul the casket in your pick-up to eliminate the cost of the hearse."

 

[Injury]

When I die, I want people to have fun at my funeral. I'm talking no suits, no ties... having clowns and magicians there... damn near like a kid's birthday party.

 

[bignateyk]

Originally posted by: Injury
When I die, I want people to have fun at my funeral. I'm talking no suits, no ties... having clowns and magicians there... damn near like a kid's birthday party.

Clowns? Christ. Kids are already terrified of clowns as it is. Now mix clowns and dead bodies? Fuck. That would have scarred me for life.

 

[mugs]

My uncle was a pretty bad alcoholic. Died of a heart attack when he was about 50. After getting divorced many years ago, he moved back in with my grandfather and lived with him until he died. At the funeral another uncle commented that my grandfather wouldn't have nearly as much recyclables to take to the curb anymore (because of the lack of beer cans).

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Injury
When I die, I want people to have fun at my funeral. I'm talking no suits, no ties... having clowns and magicians there... damn near like a kid's birthday party.

i don't think clowns would be good.


but yeah i want it to be a party. lots of food and drinks. something to remember the life of the deceased. to remember the good times.

 

[Braznor]

Why not have strippers at your funeral instead?

I'm sure even the dead will 'rise' to the occasion.

 

[Squisher]

Many years ago I attended the funeral of my wife's grandfather who really was the only father figure in her life. He was catholic, but the regular priest was off somewhere, so they had a stand in. The guy was 90 years old and had just returned from battling emphysema. At the end of every half sentence he drew in a breath that sounded like the last breath of a dying man. I'm sure the fact that he was wearing a microphone didn't help. As soon as he started the Eulogy all of us kinda lost our grief over the death started to sorta snicker at his delivery. I looked over at the wife and said, "maybe we could move your grandpa over and make room for the priest."

 

[Zenmervolt]

My grandfather passed away several years ago and was cremated. He'd been a very heavy smoker, and heart disease from that habit had killed him.

As part of his will, he left me his car, which naturally had a full ashtray. While my father and I were cleaning out the car and going through the things Grandpa had kept in it, I pulled out the ashtray and told my Dad, "I'm just going to throw Grandpa's ashes in the trash."

ZV

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: Injury
When I die, I want people to have fun at my funeral. I'm talking no suits, no ties... having clowns and magicians there... damn near like a kid's birthday party.

The coincidence is too funny:

Go here and search for "comedian".

Or, you can go here.

LOL.

MotionMan

 

[Bryophyte]

At the graveside service for my uncle last May, they played a few songs on a cd player. They got the wrong track on one of them and out came at full volume Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire". Everybody stopped crying and started busting up laughing, his wife and kids and everyone present.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher"

:laugh:

 

[Injury]

Originally posted by: bignateyk

Originally posted by: Injury
When I die, I want people to have fun at my funeral. I'm talking no suits, no ties... having clowns and magicians there... damn near like a kid's birthday party.

Clowns? Christ. Kids are already terrified of clowns as it is. Now mix clowns and dead bodies? Fuck. That would have scarred me for life.

Pfft... no body... just an old Cool Whip container with some ashes in it. Screw fancy, I'll be a decaying piece of waste.

 

[foghorn67]

I saw a Big Lebowski moment when scattering ashes.

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: foghorn67
I saw a Big Lebowski moment when scattering ashes.

Please elaborate (never saw that movie).

MotionMan

 

[GasX]

Originally posted by: MotionMan

Originally posted by: foghorn67
I saw a Big Lebowski moment when scattering ashes.

Please elaborate (never saw that movie).

MotionMan

imagine standing downwind when you make the throw...

 

[slayer202]

these are funny comments, not really funny moments, and they aren't that funny :/

 

[DanTMWTMP]

they mispelled my grandpa's name on his headstone to "Sam Suck." :Q :Q

heh, we have a good smile everytime we visit the grave. My grandpa was such a prankster and lol'er that I know he wouldn't have minded for people to lol @ his headstone.

 

[Damn Dirty Ape]

Originally posted by: child of wonder
This wasn't at the funeral, but before. After my grandfather died, we all went to the funeral home for the viewing and to plan things. My uncle, the 2nd youngest out of 7, apparently was constantly haggling with the funeral home on costs regarding everything.

When the funeral director was instructing us on where to go for the funeral and that the hearse would be meeting us there, the funeral director (who had a good rapport with the family) jokingly remarked "and, no, Andy, you can't haul the casket in your pick-up to eliminate the cost of the hearse."

yea well it CAN happen.. I know a fellow who is an ordained minister... transported his deceased elderly sister about 120 miles in the back of his dodge caravan with the seats out to save the cost of getting her from where she died to the funeral home. It can be done if you have the right credentials.

and yes, I know this as a fact.

 

[foghorn67]

Originally posted by: MotionMan

Originally posted by: foghorn67
I saw a Big Lebowski moment when scattering ashes.

Please elaborate (never saw that movie).

MotionMan

Someone went to scatter the ashes, wasn't aware of the wind factor, another got face covered in ash.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

When I die, I want to have a raffle for some of my stuff.

You know the fun stuff, like under the bed restraints, ball gags, chains, crossbow, swords, etc

 

[Jhill]

When I die, I am going through a woodchipper and it's going to be on pay-per-view. The proceeds will go to my family.

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: Jhill
When I die, I am going through a woodchipper and it's going to be on pay-per-view. The proceeds will go to my family.

And Rick Roll everyone at your funeral. That would be awesome.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
they mispelled my grandpa's name on his headstone to "Sam Suck." :Q :Q

heh, we have a good smile everytime we visit the grave. My grandpa was such a prankster and lol'er that I know he wouldn't have minded for people to lol @ his headstone.

Did he ever... pee on his son in the shower?

 

[Gooberlx2]

My grandfather died over Thanksgiving several years ago. This was in Michigan and, while November is certainly cold, the day of his funeral was particularly cold. He was a retired Lieutenant Colonel for the Air Force and afforded the whole Taps, salute, etc... Unfortunately the only trumpeter in the area was sick so they had to use a tape recording. But because of the cold the batteries were dying and the whole playback was a very distorted and warbling mess. Everyone cracked up if only because we felt bad about how embarrassed the Honor Guard were.

Immediately after, while the casket was being lowered, everyone is standing around the site freezing. My cousin's baby started wailing and wailing and wailing. It was so bad that people couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity. Finally the baby, very loudly, farted something awful and the whole service was paused because everyone was essentially pissing their pants with laughter. :laugh:

 

[uhohs]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
they mispelled my grandpa's name on his headstone to "Sam Suck." :Q :Q

heh, we have a good smile everytime we visit the grave. My grandpa was such a prankster and lol'er that I know he wouldn't have minded for people to lol @ his headstone.

Did he ever... pee on his son in the shower?

lol