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Funniest Voicemail greeting you've heard

B

Byte

Platinum Member
One of my friends have one where he says leave a message after teh beep: he then goes on beeping: beep beep beeeeeeeep beep beeeeeeeeeep, ok seriously now. Beeep BEEEEEEP beeeeep. This goes on for like 30 seconds. I guess he doesn't like voicemail like me. Also i hate ones where it seems like they picked up and almost has a conversation with you but its actually a voicemail. Anyone else got anything funny?
 
A friend saying Hello, what's up & then started talking for 30 seconds like a regular conversation & then at the end saying you idiot this is a voicemail, leave a message.
 
the "If you'd like to make a call....." message, followed by "Fvcking idiot, leave a message", heh, if they wait that long
 
I had to borrow a machinegun and a friend with a bullhorn for mine.

"Hey everybody, I'm not here right now - I'm at the bank and I'm a little busy so....I SAID DOWN! EAT THE FLOOR!"
*machinegun fire*
BULLHORN: THIS IS THE POLICE! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY!"
"YOU COPS WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
*machinegun fire*
"I PROMISE TO RETURN YOUR CALL IF I GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!"
*machinegun fire*
*beep*
 
Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you

Thank you for calling Evadman. If you wish to speak to me, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to EvadWife, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes me feel like I have a big time phone system.

I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
 
Originally posted by: DMT
I had to borrow a machinegun and a friend with a bullhorn for mine.

"Hey everybody, I'm not here right now - I'm at the bank and I'm a little busy so....I SAID DOWN! EAT THE FLOOR!"
*machinegun fire*
BULLHORN: THIS IS THE POLICE! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY!"
"YOU COPS WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
*machinegun fire*
"I PROMISE TO RETURN YOUR CALL IF I GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!"
*machinegun fire*
*beep*
Click to expand...

teh winnar

/thread
 
Before people from work(ie the boss) called me, I used to change mine constantly as a way of checking if someone really did call me. Some of the one's people seemed to enjoy:

Pete's palace of pistols and pornography, you show it we shoot it.
International house of edible undergarments.
Please leave a message after the beep, unless you're <insert generic girl name here>, in which case, take your top off and poke your head out the window, I'm the guy with the binoculars.
Hello, this is Steve...no...wait...this is not steve.. this is tom, no...that's not right either. This is ... someone. If you wanted to reach someone, leave a message and I'll figure it out from there.
 
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