funniest thing ever heard/witnessed in dorms?

[melly]

when i stayed in dorms one summer during a program i was taking, the funniest thing i saw was a drunken, stoned little asian dude say to a big fat guy "yippy ki yay muthafucka" and ran like hell.

second thing i witnessed (participated) in was a water party. one floor got bedsheets wet and we started slipping and sliding in the corridors. by the time the monitors caught us, there was a few inches of water in the halls.

 

[Deeko]

oh so many...
just a few minutes ago I heard a guy yell, very loud(as i heard it in my room). "I AM ALWAYS TOUCHING MY PENIS".

a few months ago I was down on the girls side and I heard from a room, with 4 girls in it, "ITS GOING DOWN MY PANTS".

 

[oblizue]

There's always a couple having sex a few doors down. Totally normal, except the girl is so loud she can be heard in the courtyard outside the building. :Q

Always gets a laugh from whoever hears it.

 

[yobarman]

well i've been out of the dorms for a while, but some things that come to mind.

Someone put a trashcan full of water up on someones door... and no one liked this someone (there's nothing like bringing the floor together freshman year than collectively hating someone) Well this can sat there for hours, and at like 3am just before im about to go to sleep, i hear a door open, water splash everywhere and a this kid just going off! it was so funny but i had to keep quiet cause he'd hear me. Of course i got blamed for it because i hated him the most... but to this day no one believes it wasnt me haha.

Another funny story is my one friend had a real looking BB gun that shot those yellow plastic balls. He was shooting people left and right, which was pretty funny. But he stepped outside of his room, and aimed the gun at his roommate about to shoot. I saw this from a couple yards away down the hall and i ran full speed and tackled the hell out of him. It was such a slow motion movie moment.. I was like "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" haha you had to be there. whats funnier is that he's pretty small, like 5' 7" maybe a buck and a half, and im 6'5" ~260. We got into a little fake fight after that haha.

Good times freshman year.

 

[Gunslinger08]

So many memories from this year:

Playing kickball in the basement at 3am.
Snorting lines of cheese from Easy Mac.
Guys singing the gayest duet ever while in the showers.
Playing drunken ultimate frisbee.. probably close to the funniest thing ever.
Hearing the girls upstairs having a farting contest (yes, girls fart).

Too many good times.

 

[Gunslinger08]

One time at the dining hall, a guy at my table fell backwards in his chair on purpose and just laid there for about 3 seconds then yelled "FVCK" as loud as he possibly could... I think he had 500 people laughing their asses off over that one.

Same guy always finds a way to trip over something when tour groups are around him on campus.. usually he'll fall over a 2' or 3' chain and start screaming.

 

[jlarsson]

During my freshman year, we'd play hockey out in the hallway. At the end of the hallway, there was a heating radiator. One of my friends hit a street hockey ball so hard, it knocked it off. We quickly put it back up, and pretended like nothing happened. Although the next day when the maintenence staff was vaccuuming, it fell off again, and were wondering why it came off so easy.

 

[anno]

I only lived in a dorm one year, and it was a LONG time ago.. see me over in another thread talking about my daughter's freshman year just finished.. it was a long time ago.. you weren't born yet.

the dorm I lived in was built to be a guys dorm but it was built like an H.. 5 stories on one side and 7 on the other I think.. with some common area/lounge type connectors across the cross piece of the H and by the time I got there, there were guys on the 5 floor side but girls on the 7 floor side. this was in the 70's.. the guys had no visitation privileges.. and the girls on the top 4 floors had none either but we on the lower floors did have at least some sort of visitation privileges.. I don't remember for sure what they were.. wednesday nights and friday nights til midnight or 2 and saturdays noon-midnight or 2 and maybe some sunday afternoon or something. it wasn't great but it was about the best deal going at the time.

anyway.. now I addressed the visitation issue, I think maybe the funniest thing from that whole year was the janitor. I was starting out to say how since it used to be a guys dorm all over, our bathrooms now it was a girls dorm were equipped with a bank of for the most part useless urinals and homecoming weekend some of the gals planted plastic flowers in alla 'em to fancy the place up some.. which was a nice gesture I guess but kind of impractical, since the guests were kinda at a loss as to how to proceed when they approached 'em.. but really, that was just funny in a you had to be there kind of way.

the janitor was a hoot. he was a pervert in a janitor suit and cracked up any of us that were around every time he came along to sweep the halls. since it was a girls only hall much of the time, with gang bathroom facilities.. most of the time modesty wasn't much of an issue.. if/when any man needed to come on the hall for whatever reason during a non-visiting hours time, they were supposed to announce, at the top of their lungs, at the entrance to the hall "MAN ON THE HALL!" before they proceeded.. and most of 'em did. 'cept the guy that came through every day sweeping the hall. he followed the letter of the law, 'cept he whispered it. kinda hoarsely.. *man on the hall.....* sweep sweep sweep..*man on the hall...*.. sweep sweep sweep..

there were a lot of funny things. and a lot of fun things. *most fun thing* was stealing trays from the dining hall and going "sledding" in the mud during the spring rains.. there were 3.5 guys dorms and 1.5 girls dorms fed into that dining hall/section of campus so it was way fun from the gals point of view! but.. I think the janitor was the all round funniest thing, because he was good for a laugh on a daily basis.

anno

 

[PCMarine]

Haha, good stories

 

[PCMarine]

Haha, good stories

 

[kranky]

We had a real ass living on our floor (he had a single room) who would always be nagging us for one thing or another. "You guys better quit spilling food on the floor because I'm not going to have my damage deposit reduced to pay for cleaning it up!" etc. etc. We pennied him in his room one night and figured we'd let him stew for a half-hour or so. He called his father from his room, who called the president of the university, who called the campus police who came up and let the kid out while giving us a hard time. So as soon as the cops left we heated up his doorknob with lighters, and when he came out to lecture us again about what we did he burned his hand.

And the guy in the room next to me, the star pitcher on the baseball team, stole a handful of apples from the cafeteria to throw out his window to splatter them against the wall of the next building. He called me over to watch, and the first one he threw smashed the window in his room because he missed the open side of the window by a foot.

 

[nick1985]

Originally posted by: PCMarine
Haha, good stories

 

[nick1985]

i hope i have a few good ones when i go next year!

 

[nick1985]

Originally posted by: PCMarine
Haha, good stories

 

[nick1985]

oops, double post

 

[bootymac]

Originally posted by: nick1985
oops, double post

You mean quadrooople post

 

[Lithium381]

i live at home :|

 

[datalink7]

There was this RA that was a real a$$. Nobody actually knew why he was still an RA because two girls filed sexual harrasement charges against him.

He used to do stuff like walk into peoples rooms without knocking for no reason at all. Everyone hated him.

One night, someone got a leaf blower and put a whole bunch of flour right at the base of his door, then blew the leaf blower. The door didn't extend all the way to the ground.

His entire room got covered in flour

 

[Mookow]

During my freshmand year, you could get on top of Jones tower pretty easily, as long as you entered the building before 9PM. So, some friends and I snuck up there (its probably 14 stories high) with a megaphone and one of those intensely bright searchlights, hooked up to 4 lantern batteries. Anyways, Jones is fairly near the NE corner of campus, and as people walked from the east side of off campus to their dorms, they would often pass by quite close to Jones. And if you were up there on a friday/saturday night, you could see a lot of drunken people walk by. The truly, staggering drunks were the targets. We would suddenly shine the spotlight on them, at the same moment I would intone through the megaphone "This is God!" Now, it was about 50/50 whether they would shake their heads and walk away, or ask what God wanted with them. The funniest request I made was "Build Me and Ark!" Now, this being a campus area, there isnt much in the way of building materials present. I got one drunk to attempt the build order with nothing more than the mulch around a nearby tree. They went at it for a good two minutes before my laughing caused me to accidentally turn the megaphone on. Apparently the target did not appreciate "God's laughter".

Yes, I know, I'm going to hell

 

[her209]

I never lived in the dorms.

 

[anno]

my favorite freshman year story isn't dorm-related.. my boyfriend that year lived off campus and sometime that winter they had a party.. there was plenty beer and lots of dry ice so there was lots of foggy fun and around midnight or 1 or 2 or so there was a shortage of snacks so we piled in a car or two and ran to the nearest minimart to fix that.

so we got to the minimart and we all piled in and we were.. home alone.. there was *nobody there*. and I was a good freshman gal and none of these guys were any of that and I was like.. um.. we should not BE here while our mother is out.. it was very cat in the hattish.. like 10 of us home alone in the minimart.. I guess whoever was supposed to close up that night did everything BUT lock the door when he left..

so all these "older and wiser" than my freshman self guys start running around this minimart which was not your normal 7-11 because it had coldcuts in their uncut state.. I mean whole bolognas and salamis and such.. HUGE 2 foot psuedosausages, they start running around the minimart weilding these massive sausages of sorts as weapons in a more western movie kind of way than a star wars kind of way because this predated starwars by a year or so.. while I, the youngest and shortest and femalest of the lot of 'em am still standing there quoting the cat in the hat so eventually, armed with many pounds of really large sausages and a couple bags of chips we did exit that abandoned minimart and head back to the apartment full of c02 fog and overchilled beer..
where those strange guy-type creatures proceeded to hack off 1" slabs of massive sausages and eat 'em plain..

it was funny.. again, in a probably you needed to be there and if it hadn't been for the beer it woulda been disgusting sort of way.. and now that I'm mom to a kid same age I was then I keep telling myself I was a witness.. a hostage even!, not an accessory.. (beer was legal for 18 back then!).

anno

 

[N8Magic]

Originally posted by: her209
I never lived in the dorms.

 

[eakers]

my friend lived in an all girls dorm and everytime anyone came in with boys they would scream "BOYS ARE HERE" and every door would open and girls would look to see what boys had come over to visit them.
it was funny because you'd be sitting there and you would hear it and everyone in the room would jump up and run to the door, it was even funnier when you came in with boys and yelled it and everyone came out to look at you.

 

[Joker81]

When I lived in the dorms. About every night at 1 am. Someone would start playing this porno track went a little something like this.

Woman: Ohhh, Ahhhh, Ohhh ahh, Yeah yeah.
Sheep: Baaaaaa Baaaaa.
repeat for 4 minutes. Funny as hell.

Every once in a while someone would yell out.
MORTAL KOMBAT. not part of the same porno track
also about 1am.

 

[Tot]

Originally posted by: datalink7
There was this RA that was a real a$$. Nobody actually knew why he was still an RA because two girls filed sexual harrasement charges against him.

He used to do stuff like walk into peoples rooms without knocking for no reason at all. Everyone hated him.

One night, someone got a leaf blower and put a whole bunch of flour right at the base of his door, then blew the leaf blower. The door didn't extend all the way to the ground.

His entire room got covered in flour

If someone had been smoking then... the place would have blown up...