Funniest one liner you've heard?

[Martin]

"Son, are you a Red?"

 

[Rallispec]

from a movie or what?

"guns, lots of guns"

 

[TheOmegaCode]

More likely... "Marty, you were an accident..."

 

[LordMaul]

...on the other hand...take my wife, PLEASE!!

 

[dionx]

"i've got a wife and some kids. eat them"

Homer Simpson (although that wasnt the exact quote, just off the top of my head. i think its from a halloween episode or something).

 

[punkrawket]

no tv and no beer make homer...... go crazy

DON'T MIND IF I DO

lol, i laught as i think of it

 

[Pocatello]

you guys are easily amused

 

[Platypus]

"You can't fight in here!! This is the war room!"

 

[BreakApart]

"I was so poor growing up ... If I wasn't born a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with."
-Rodney Dangerfield

 

[TheOmegaCode]

<< "You can't fight in here!! This is the war room!" >>

Good old Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

 

[Viper GTS]

From Hard Rain, the old guy in the boat, just after being released by Freeman's men:

Then shut the f*** up.

I don't know if I've ever laughed so hard before, the scene is priceless.



Viper GTS

 

[Static911]

jackie chan saying

"wassup my N~"

static911

 

[yllus]

"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." -- Dave Barry

 

[Platypus]

<<

<< "You can't fight in here!! This is the war room!" >>

Good old Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. >>



!

Did you get the new re-release DVD with all the fun features? IT RULES!!!!

 

[woodly6]

Ever since I met you I've swept you off my feet.

Groucho Marx

 

[GasX]

I just saw a great one today in a James Bond thread. It's from On Her Majesty's Secret Service. He is on the phone and a girl is writing her room number on his thigh. He is asked if he is feeling ok.

"I feel a slight stiffness coming on"



Arnold is the king of one-liners:

"Don't disturb my friend... he's DEAD tired."

"Let off some STEAM, Bennett!"

"I'll be back"

"You know what I like about bedrooms? You almost ALWAYS find a bed in there."

"I hope your not your mother's only child."

"To do what an old friend asked me too... KNOCK em' dead."

"One of us is in DEEP trouble."

"Well.. that HIT the spot."

"I did nothing. The PAVEMENT was his enemy."

"It's not a TUMOR!"

"The only drugs you're going to find in there are aspirin. And if you touch that front door... you're going to need them!"

"They CAUGHT a train."

"So the prince of darkness wants to conquer earth. He has to do it one hour before midnight. Is this eastern time?

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

"His body hit the pavement like a Hefty bag full of vegtable soup."

cant remember the author. was one of those submit your essay deals, this one in particular was funny as hell.

 

[amnesiac]

"You're going the WRONG WAY! You're going to KILL somebody!"

- from Planes, Trains & Automobiles

 

[TuffGirl]

0sully, I loove Dave Barry's humor too! I have a couple of his books on tape, hehe. Here are some others:

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

People in the computer industry use the word "user," which to them means "idiot."

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

 

[gotsmack]

"Well... Its not going to suck itself!"