- Oct 17, 2000
- 12,876
- 4
- 76
HI, I'm just going to go straight to the point.
I've only been in three serious relationships in my life(other times i'm slutting away), where I've fallen in love on the last two girls. In those relationships I've met by simply going up to them and asking them out, or through her/my friends. In other words, the interest and attraction was already established and we took it from there. However, during the last year I found myself in a different situation. The situation of being their friend. I've been single for almost a year and during that year i've created lots a girl - friends (notice the seperation) and we've all had fun going to movies, chillin, ya know, being friends. Keep in mind i've never went into any relationship based on a complete friendship, all the other times I automatically felt attracted to such a person and went from there, but this particular situation had me thinking.
When is it right to pursue the friendship line and try and boost it beyond that line. One girl in particular; We were friends and we knew each other for a while since she was going out with a roommate of mine. We were great together as friends, and i loved her for that. She's a great person and we had this really strong friendship, until we began to have feelings for each other. When I began to feel attracted to her I felt strange approaching the situation and didn't exactly know what to do. At this moment we didn't reveil this "secret" and always talked to other friends in dealing with the subject. I felt that it was wrong to feel for her, since its of high risk. Its like placing a high bet on the tabel with high value and every move you make after that will determine if or not you'll win the hand. Unfortunately, I lost the hand in this case. After we "reveiled" to each other how we felt, it dissolved because we couldn't really do the same "friendship" events without questioning or feeling strange about it. As the decline took place, I was completely pissed at myself, because i felt i screwed up in telling her my true feelings.
Current situation is that she has a boyfriend and I've completely lost all interest in pursuing the "more than friends approach." That part of me has been completely turned off since she only gave herself a couple weeks in forgeting the whole awkward friends/more and ending up having a "boyfriend." This pretty much led me to believe that her feelings weren't as strong as mine, since she completely changed gears in a matter of weeks. Now our friendship isn't what it used to be which leeds me to conclude that this is SUCK!
Now, im in a similar situation again. I've thought and thought about it, and I've decided that I will not pursue. What do you think?
In these examples, I've showed the flaw in pursuing the "more friends" approach which leeds me to question it.
Anyone been in a similar situation, and actually had success? I guess i should just leave my friends as friends and find other girls out there. But then that means i have to start all over in knowing someone, this sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks guys
DannyLove (currently no "love" at the moment)
I've only been in three serious relationships in my life(other times i'm slutting away), where I've fallen in love on the last two girls. In those relationships I've met by simply going up to them and asking them out, or through her/my friends. In other words, the interest and attraction was already established and we took it from there. However, during the last year I found myself in a different situation. The situation of being their friend. I've been single for almost a year and during that year i've created lots a girl - friends (notice the seperation) and we've all had fun going to movies, chillin, ya know, being friends. Keep in mind i've never went into any relationship based on a complete friendship, all the other times I automatically felt attracted to such a person and went from there, but this particular situation had me thinking.
When is it right to pursue the friendship line and try and boost it beyond that line. One girl in particular; We were friends and we knew each other for a while since she was going out with a roommate of mine. We were great together as friends, and i loved her for that. She's a great person and we had this really strong friendship, until we began to have feelings for each other. When I began to feel attracted to her I felt strange approaching the situation and didn't exactly know what to do. At this moment we didn't reveil this "secret" and always talked to other friends in dealing with the subject. I felt that it was wrong to feel for her, since its of high risk. Its like placing a high bet on the tabel with high value and every move you make after that will determine if or not you'll win the hand. Unfortunately, I lost the hand in this case. After we "reveiled" to each other how we felt, it dissolved because we couldn't really do the same "friendship" events without questioning or feeling strange about it. As the decline took place, I was completely pissed at myself, because i felt i screwed up in telling her my true feelings.
Current situation is that she has a boyfriend and I've completely lost all interest in pursuing the "more than friends approach." That part of me has been completely turned off since she only gave herself a couple weeks in forgeting the whole awkward friends/more and ending up having a "boyfriend." This pretty much led me to believe that her feelings weren't as strong as mine, since she completely changed gears in a matter of weeks. Now our friendship isn't what it used to be which leeds me to conclude that this is SUCK!
Now, im in a similar situation again. I've thought and thought about it, and I've decided that I will not pursue. What do you think?
In these examples, I've showed the flaw in pursuing the "more friends" approach which leeds me to question it.
Anyone been in a similar situation, and actually had success? I guess i should just leave my friends as friends and find other girls out there. But then that means i have to start all over in knowing someone, this sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks guys
DannyLove (currently no "love" at the moment
)
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