Friend's dad committed suicide

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archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
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One of my high school friend's dad committed suicide last week by running the car in the garage. He's not someone I talk to frequently anymore but I feel so bad, I don't know what to tell him when I go home and see him this weekend. Why would someone do this and leave their whole family behind. The friend is 20 years old and his two sisters are in high school and middle school or thereabout.

Your prayers for him, his mother, and his two younger sisters would be appreciated.

:(
 
R

RedArmy

Platinum Member
Mar 1, 2005
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rose.gif
 
deerslayer

deerslayer

Lifer
Jan 15, 2001
10,153
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76
There's not much you can tell him. My cousin committed suicide in 2001. He was 29. I was really close with him. We went deer hunting together every year, now it's just not the same. Pretty much all you can do is be there for him when he's ready to talk about it.

 
I

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a nice insurance policy on his life and saw it as a way to give his family the financial means that he could never give them in his living years.
 
iRONic

iRONic

Diamond Member
Jan 28, 2006
8,365
3,672
136
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a nice insurance policy on his life and saw it as a way to give his family the financial means that he could never give them in his living years.
Click to expand...

Most life insurance policies will not pay out for a death by suicide.
 
CKent

CKent

Diamond Member
Aug 17, 2005
9,020
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That sucks, sorry to hear it :( A lot of middle-aged married men go through depression. The male instinct is to provide for his family, but at that age the kids are starting to be self-sufficient. Women also have virtually no libido left at that age (*flashback to American Beauty*). A friend of mine's dad got pretty depressed a while back and turned to alcohol.
 
X

xSauronx

Lifer
Jul 14, 2000
19,582
4
81
Originally posted by: iRONic
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a nice insurance policy on his life and saw it as a way to give his family the financial means that he could never give them in his living years.
Click to expand...

Most life insurance policies will not pay out for a death by suicide.
Click to expand...

mine will after the policy has been in effect for 2 years

i was rather surprised when they told me that.
 
iRONic

iRONic

Diamond Member
Jan 28, 2006
8,365
3,672
136
Originally posted by: xSauronx
Originally posted by: iRONic
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a nice insurance policy on his life and saw it as a way to give his family the financial means that he could never give them in his living years.
Click to expand...

Most life insurance policies will not pay out for a death by suicide.
Click to expand...

mine will after the policy has been in effect for 2 years

i was rather surprised when they told me that.
Click to expand...

Wow. Issuer of said policy?
 
G

gsethi

Diamond Member
Feb 28, 2002
3,457
5
81
Originally posted by: iRONic
Originally posted by: xSauronx
Originally posted by: iRONic
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a nice insurance policy on his life and saw it as a way to give his family the financial means that he could never give them in his living years.
Click to expand...

Most life insurance policies will not pay out for a death by suicide.
Click to expand...

mine will after the policy has been in effect for 2 years

i was rather surprised when they told me that.
Click to expand...

Wow. Issuer of said policy?
Click to expand...

thinking of suiciding ?

 
iRONic

iRONic

Diamond Member
Jan 28, 2006
8,365
3,672
136
Originally posted by: gsethi
Originally posted by: iRONic
Originally posted by: xSauronx
Originally posted by: iRONic
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a nice insurance policy on his life and saw it as a way to give his family the financial means that he could never give them in his living years.
Click to expand...

Most life insurance policies will not pay out for a death by suicide.
Click to expand...

mine will after the policy has been in effect for 2 years

i was rather surprised when they told me that.
Click to expand...

Wow. Issuer of said policy?
Click to expand...

thinking of suiciding ?
Click to expand...

No, I'd like to know which company would actually reward that activity so I can check my portfolio.
 
Nocturnal

Nocturnal

Lifer
Jan 8, 2002
18,927
0
76
Some people are selfish. Some of the other reasons are he didn't know who to turn to. He was terminally ill and didn't want to live. Or was extremely depressed, perhaps by a mental disorder. The best thing you can do is be there for your friend and let him know that you're there for him. Maybe take him out to get his mind off of it al. (not get him drunk but maybe to the movies, to the park, etc.)
 
A

archcommus

Diamond Member
Sep 14, 2003
8,115
0
76
Originally posted by: Nocturnal
Some people are selfish. Some of the other reasons are he didn't know who to turn to. He was terminally ill and didn't want to live. Or was extremely depressed, perhaps by a mental disorder. The best thing you can do is be there for your friend and let him know that you're there for him. Maybe take him out to get his mind off of it al. (not get him drunk but maybe to the movies, to the park, etc.)
Click to expand...
Yeah I'm hoping that can happen this weekend, a lot of us are coming home from college. What makes it worse for him is he was going to a community college and living at home, so he is around the situation daily, he doesn't have a "different" life to go back to that could possibly help keep his mind off it some.
 
Golgatha

Golgatha

Lifer
Jul 18, 2003
12,404
1,078
126
Originally posted by: CKent
That sucks, sorry to hear it :( A lot of middle-aged married men go through depression. The male instinct is to provide for his family, but at that age the kids are starting to be self-sufficient. Women also have virtually no libido left at that age (*flashback to American Beauty*). A friend of mine's dad got pretty depressed a while back and turned to alcohol.
Click to expand...

QFT.
 
J

John P

Platinum Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,426
2
0
Most people either say too much or too little (avoid the person) in cases like this.

All you need to say is "Sorry to hear about your dad". You will most likely be able to tell if he wants to talk about it more or just move on to the next topic of conversation "How bout dem Bears" or whatever....

Depending on your relationship you could also add "if you need anything at all, like somebody to talk or whatever, let me know".

Good luck.

 
O

OsoVerde

Senior member
Dec 14, 2006
223
0
0
Originally posted by: John P.
Most people either say too much or too little (avoid the person) in cases like this.

All you need to say is "Sorry to hear about your dad". You will most likely be able to tell if he wants to talk about it more or just move on to the next topic of conversation "How bout dem Bears" or whatever....

Depending on your relationship you could also add "if you need anything at all, like somebody to talk or whatever, let me know".

Good luck.
Click to expand...

I second this.

Sad that there's a lot of stigma surrounding mental illness so people don't want to admit they've got a problem or get help in a lot of cases.
 
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