Friends asks to be SHOT to get out of work...

[Analog]

PASCO, Wash. -- Franklin County Deputies respond to a drive-by shooting but soon find out that is just a story to get a man out of work. At first, the man claimed he was jogging when he was shot by someone in a black car. But, deputies soon found out that wasn't the truth.
Franklin County Deputies responded to Lourdes Medical Center for the drive-by report.

The man, Daniel Kuch, said he was on the Pasco-Kahlotus highway, 3 miles north of Pasco, when he was shot. He claimed he was shot in the right shoulder by a passing car but soon detectives found out that just didn't make sense. Kuch says he had actually planned the shooting as a way to get time off work and avoid a drug test. Kuch had his friend shoot him to create the injury so that he would be able to be out of work long enough to get any drugs out of his system.

Pasco Detective Jason Nuñez says, "It's extremely concerning that someone would come up with a story like this. It presents such a serious situation, when someone makes up a false story just to help themselves."

Deputies arrested Kuch for telling lies to deputies and, Kurtis Johnson, the man who did the shooting, for reckless endangerment. Deputies say this is definitely not a good way to get out of work.

http://www.kndo.com/Global/sto...950080&nav=menu484_2_9

 

[Geekbabe]

too complicated this scheme.. these guys never learned the KISS principal.

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

LOL, stupid fuckwits.

 

[allisolm]

Sounds like either those drugs killed off too many brain cells or he wasn't the sharpest cheese on the cracker to start with - or both.

 

[OhSnap688]

Haha dumb kids. Don't do drugs idiot.

 

[AMCRambler]

Another almost Darwin Award

 

[Beev]

Deputies arrested Kuch for telling lies to deputies

Lol, that just sounds funny.

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: allisolm
Sounds like either those drugs killed off too many brain cells or he wasn't the sharpest cheese on the cracker to start with - or both.

This sounds so right.

 

[Jeff7]

Man, I don't feel like going to class this morning. The professor's lectures are always in Powerpoints, which are available from his website, but he likes to give pop quizzes just to keep attendance up. Maybe if I shoot myself.....yeah, that'll work! But I've got to make it good, none of this shoulder-shooting stuff. A brain injury ought to be a good enough excuse to make up a quiz, right? It's absolutely foolproof!!!
Finally, proof that our children is learning. :laugh:


Maybe he'll have his friends shoot him again so he can get out of his court appearance.

 

[TruePaige]

Why didn't he shoot himself?

 

[lozina]

if you wanted to do such a scheme why would you choose a sensitive, complicated area like the shoulder to be shot? I'd have chosen to be shot in the thigh or calf if i had to choose someplace. definitely not the shoulder

 

[paulxcook]

When I was a teenager I pushed carts for a Super Target. Toward the end of that I was considering paying one of my co-workers to run over my legs with the car pusher machine thing. Not because of drugs. I just hated my job.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Couldn't he just jump a skateboard over a flight of stairs? What a maroon.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Dumbasses

 

[Raduque]

This reminds me of the youtube video of the guy who had his friend hit his legs with a sledgehammer to try and break them to avoid going to iraq. Needless to say, it was epic fail.

 

[SirStev0]

Meh...

Lose job and risk never getting employed ever again because you smoke pot vs. taking a bullet...

hmmm...

 

[SirStev0]

Originally posted by: lozina
if you wanted to do such a scheme why would you choose a sensitive, complicated area like the shoulder to be shot? I'd have chosen to be shot in the thigh or calf if i had to choose someplace. definitely not the shoulder

femoral artery injury = dead in less than a minute

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Haven't these morons ever watched the Summer X-Games? If you want to injure yourself and capture it on video, what better way than popping wheelies or catching air off a ramp, complete with a nu-metal soundtrack?

Dumbasses.

 

[2Xtreme21]

Originally posted by: SirStev0
Meh...

Lose job and risk never getting employed ever again because you smoke pot vs. taking a bullet...

hmmm...

There's always another job that'll hire you. Weed isn't an end of the world thing.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
too complicated this scheme.. these guys never learned the KISS principal.

Thats what I've been doing wrong, I've been kissing the lunch ladies!