Friend getting married, asked me to be the best man.... but I can't afford the trip

[drum]

Originally posted by: Turin39789

Originally posted by: RaiderJ
Update: spoke with him on the phone, he was able to get an air miles ticket with Alaska Airlines

Now I just have to come up with a speech....

and the strippers

ROFL nice.

good to see you can make it for him!

 

[alkemyst]

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
I certainly don't condone going into debt, so don't read this that way. Your sister will have a lot of birthdays - your best friend will probably only get married once. Surely she can understand if she is older than 10 or 11. Christmas presents in general, if I were in your shoes, would be completely skipped as again, that happens every year and presents are pretty much over-rated anyway. You seem to already have answered my question based on the fact that you are having a subconscious preference to spend your money on something else, but how much do you care if you are there? If you guys were really best friends, Christmas presents and birthdays wouldn't be getting in the way.

QFT.

A best man role is a once in a lifetime shot. Others should understand about skipping gifts (you should be able to do something though however small....it's the thought that counts in your situation).

I don't know how a plane ticket will run $500 round trip though (assuming the $1000 you said it will cost you would be only $500 if he covers the ticket).

Are you flying overseas? Booking now should get you decent rates even if you had to fly slightly outside the area and drive in. Also think short trip if you really can't afford it. Maybe fly in a day before, spend a nite in the hotel...do the wedding, spend another nite and fly out.

 

[alkemyst]

should mention you are from Alaska heading to Colorado in the OP. May be cheaper to fly the most common destination out of alaska then a second flight from there to colorado.

 

[RaiderJ]

Originally posted by: alkemyst

Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
I certainly don't condone going into debt, so don't read this that way. Your sister will have a lot of birthdays - your best friend will probably only get married once. Surely she can understand if she is older than 10 or 11. Christmas presents in general, if I were in your shoes, would be completely skipped as again, that happens every year and presents are pretty much over-rated anyway. You seem to already have answered my question based on the fact that you are having a subconscious preference to spend your money on something else, but how much do you care if you are there? If you guys were really best friends, Christmas presents and birthdays wouldn't be getting in the way.

QFT.

A best man role is a once in a lifetime shot. Others should understand about skipping gifts (you should be able to do something though however small....it's the thought that counts in your situation).

I don't know how a plane ticket will run $500 round trip though (assuming the $1000 you said it will cost you would be only $500 if he covers the ticket).

Are you flying overseas? Booking now should get you decent rates even if you had to fly slightly outside the area and drive in. Also think short trip if you really can't afford it. Maybe fly in a day before, spend a nite in the hotel...do the wedding, spend another nite and fly out.

Cheapest round trip tickets I could find were over $600. Flying in/out of Alaska is kind of like going overseas. I love the state, but damned if flying and shipping isn't expensive.

 

[JS80]

but vouchers 20% on ebay or CL

 

[michaels]

I think it's rude for people getting married to basically disregard peoples situations and expect them to jump to whatever they say. If you can't afford it you can't afford it. A real friend would understand.

 

[otispunkmeyer]

if i was getting married i think i'd be willing to help out those that needed it if i definately wanted them there. hell if i was rich enough everyone would be going free of charge, id foot the whole thing. but thats just me, im a generous person as long as it doesnt mean financial suicide.

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

Originally posted by: michaels
I think it's rude for people getting married to basically disregard peoples situations and expect them to jump to whatever they say. If you can't afford it you can't afford it. A real friend would understand.

Yup, I think most people here are getting the other way around

To me, expecting your friend to churn out the money for your wedding when he doesnt have it is incredibly selfish, you really shouldnt be expecting that

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself

Originally posted by: michaels
I think it's rude for people getting married to basically disregard peoples situations and expect them to jump to whatever they say. If you can't afford it you can't afford it. A real friend would understand.

Yup, I think most people here are getting the other way around

To me, expecting your friend to churn out the money for your wedding when he doesnt have it is incredibly selfish, you really shouldnt be expecting that

Agreed.

 

[MrDudeMan]

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself

Originally posted by: michaels
I think it's rude for people getting married to basically disregard peoples situations and expect them to jump to whatever they say. If you can't afford it you can't afford it. A real friend would understand.

Yup, I think most people here are getting the other way around

To me, expecting your friend to churn out the money for your wedding when he doesnt have it is incredibly selfish, you really shouldnt be expecting that

Are you married? Have you been involved in a wedding, other than just being a guest? Most people do it once, and regardless of the mentality on this forum, it is a very important day. I expected my best friends to make sacrifices for me so they could be there and they will expect the exact same thing from me when it's their time. That's how it works and that's how it should work. If he would have had to skip buying groceries or paying his bills, then I would say he should put himself first, but if it was just a matter of not wanting to dip into the savings a little bit and he would otherwise be fine, then that is a pathetic excuse. Money is just money, and valuing that over seeing your best friend get married is sad. You can always earn and save more, but you only get one shot for stuff like this, especially if you are asked to be the best man.

 

[essasin]

I would cover the cost of a ticket if I knew my best man could not comfortably cover the cost. But, I would never turn down a really good friend and I would make the sacrifices that need to be done.