This made me chuckle....
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan To Convince Taliban
of Non-Existence of God
The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies
revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers
into the country to destroy the morale of Taliban zealots by proving the
non-existence of God.
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets,'
will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and
existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual
battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and
unattainable to everyone else.
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence
in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense
and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said,
"The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There
is no God and I can prove it."
Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating
freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films
of Alfred Hitchcock.
However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation
as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the
Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in
the area.
Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to
the effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to
propagate his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe.
French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan To Convince Taliban
of Non-Existence of God
The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies
revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers
into the country to destroy the morale of Taliban zealots by proving the
non-existence of God.
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets,'
will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and
existential anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual
battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and
unattainable to everyone else.
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence
in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense
and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said,
"The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There
is no God and I can prove it."
Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating
freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films
of Alfred Hitchcock.
However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation
as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the
Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in
the area.
Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to
the effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to
propagate his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe.
