Forrest Gump: (Another joke brought to you by Brutuskend)

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0

The day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed. Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
The tests are short, but you have to pass them before you can get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here St.Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one-how many days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy.

That'd be Today and Tomorrow.

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer."

How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:

January 2nd,
February 2nd,
March 2nd...

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.

Let's go on with the next and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure" Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated frustrated St.Peter.
Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name of Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song.

"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TELLS ME I Am HIS OWN......

St. Peter opened the gate and said: "Run, Forrest, Run
 

UglyCasanova

Lifer
Mar 25, 2001
19,275
1,361
126
rolleye.gif
:)
 

Miramonti

Lifer
Aug 26, 2000
28,653
100
106
Cute. :)


/me thinks this was written by a jehovah witness. :D
(...only 140k seats in the auditorium up there)
 

deftron

Lifer
Nov 17, 2000
10,868
1
0

The end is supposed to be...

Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?" Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name. Everbody probly knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's 'Howard'?" Forest answers, "It's in the prayer." "The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?" "The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...."