For your studying break - A joke about finals!

b0mbrman

Lifer
Jun 1, 2001
29,470
1
81
It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted, and the student would fail. A half-hour into the exam, a student came rushing in, and asked the professor for an exam booklet. ?You?re not going to have time to finish this,? the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. ?Yes I will,? replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.
An hour and a half later, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in?all except the late student, who continued writing. A half-hour later, the student approached the professor, who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already submitted.

?No, you don?t, I?m not going to accept this. It?s late.?

The student looked incredulous and angry, demanding, ?Don't you know who I am??

?No, as a matter of fact, I don?t,? replied the professor.

"I ask again! Do you know who I am?!?? the student asked again, forcefully.

?No, and I don?t care,? replied the professor with an air of pomposity.

?Good,? replied the student, who promptly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

 

Radiohead

Platinum Member
Jun 16, 2001
2,494
1
0
There was a commercial like this... I think it was a scratch&win one. The student didn't hand in his exam on time because he was busy scratching the scratch&win instead...
 

rgwalt

Diamond Member
Apr 22, 2000
7,393
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You forgot the best part...

?Good,? replied the student, who promptly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and threw the whole stack over his shoulder, scattering the exams all over the floor while running out of the room.

Ryan

 

Logix

Diamond Member
Jul 26, 2001
3,627
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Haha, good one! :D Here are two more:

________________

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, 'What about extreme sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student shakes her head, and sweetly says: 'Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with.'
________________

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time - however, after all the hardy-partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation.

"Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.

On the second page was written:
(For 95 points): Which tire?
 

rival

Diamond Member
Aug 19, 2001
3,490
0
0


<< 'Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with.' >>



Now thats comedy. :D
 

b0mbrman

Lifer
Jun 1, 2001
29,470
1
81


<< You forgot the best part...
?Good,? replied the student, who promptly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and threw the whole stack over his shoulder, scattering the exams all over the floor while running out of the room.
Ryan
>>



Ha ha. Nice touch.

 

MrCodeDude

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
13,674
1
76


<< On the second page was written:
(For 95 points): Which tire?
>>


If they all answered the same answer, they'd have an A for the final.
-- mrcodedude
 

b0mbrman

Lifer
Jun 1, 2001
29,470
1
81


<< On the second page was written:
(For 95 points): Which tire?
>>



Woah! For some reason, I'd heard from my roommate that this thing actually happened here at Cal! :| Stupid Urban Legends

Also, we agreed that if the situation ever came up, it was the rear, right tire :)