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For those who can read russian

neonerd

Diamond Member
???????, ?? ????????? ???????????? ???????? COMDEX ???? ????? ??????, ??? ???? ?? General Motors ?????????? ???, ??? Microsoft, ?? ?? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ?? ??????? ?????????? $25 ? ???????? ??????? 0.005 ='eb/100 ??.
????? ???? ????????????? GM ?????? ? ?????, ??? ???? ?? GM ???????? ????????? Microsoft, ??:
1. ????????? ??? ???????, ???????????????????? ?????? ???????? ?? ? ?????? 2 ???? ? ????.
2. ?????? ???, ????? ?????????? ?? ???????? ?? ??????, ??????????? ?? ???????? ????? ??????????.
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????.
4. ???????? ??????? ??????, ?????? ????? ?????????? ? ?????? ?? ?????????. ????? ???????? ?????????????????? ?????????.
5. ???????? ?????? ?? ??????????, ??????? ?? ??????????? ??????? ??????, ??? ?? ? ???? ??? ??????? ???? ?? Microsoft, ????? ????? ? ?????????? - ?? ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ?? 5% ?????.
6. ??????? ??????????? ?????????, ??????? ???????, ???????? ????? ???????? ?? ?? ???? - ????????????: "??? ?????? ??????????? ??????????? ???????? ? ?????? ?????????".
7. ????? ??? ??? ????????? ??????? ????????????, ???????? ???????: Are you sure?
8. ?????? ?????????? ??????? ????? ?? ????? ? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ??????. ????? ????? ???????????? ?????? ????? ?????, ???????? ???? ? ?????? ?? ???????????? - ??????? ??????????????.
9. ?????? ??? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ???????? ??????? ?????? ?????? - ?????????? ?????? ????? ?????? ????? ? ????? ?????????? ?? ???????.
10. ????? ????????? ?????, ????? ?????? ?????? START.

???????, ????? ????????.

Sorry all you english folk....i don't really feel like translating all of that, but if anybody else would like to, feel free 😀
 
Originally posted by: neonerd
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????.
Puahaha! 😀
 
Originally posted by: b0mbrman
Originally posted by: neonerd
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????.
Puahaha! 😀

is that what it shows up as? 😕

shows up in russian for me 🙁
 
Originally posted by: neonerd
Originally posted by: b0mbrman
Originally posted by: neonerd
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????..
Puahaha! 😀

is that what it shows up as? 😕

shows up in russian for me 🙁
Oh, it quotes like that for some reason
 
Originally posted by: b0mbrman
Originally posted by: neonerd
Originally posted by: b0mbrman
Originally posted by: neonerd
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????..
Puahaha! 😀

is that what it shows up as? 😕

shows up in russian for me 🙁
Oh, it quotes like that for some reason

ah, ok 😀
 
Originally posted by: neonerd
???????, ?? ????????? ???????????? ???????? COMDEX ???? ????? ??????, ??? ???? ?? General Motors ?????????? ???, ??? Microsoft, ?? ?? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ?? ??????? ?????????? $25 ? ???????? ??????? 0.005 ='eb/100 ??.
????? ???? ????????????? GM ?????? ? ?????, ??? ???? ?? GM ???????? ????????? Microsoft, ??:
1. ????????? ??? ???????, ???????????????????? ?????? ???????? ?? ? ?????? 2 ???? ? ????.
2. ?????? ???, ????? ?????????? ?? ???????? ?? ??????, ??????????? ?? ???????? ????? ??????????.
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????.
4. ???????? ??????? ??????, ?????? ????? ?????????? ? ?????? ?? ?????????. ????? ???????? ?????????????????? ?????????.
5. ???????? ?????? ?? ??????????, ??????? ?? ??????????? ??????? ??????, ??? ?? ? ???? ??? ??????? ???? ?? Microsoft, ????? ????? ? ?????????? - ?? ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ?? 5% ?????.
6. ??????? ??????????? ?????????, ??????? ???????, ???????? ????? ???????? ?? ?? ???? - ????????????: "??? ?????? ??????????? ??????????? ???????? ? ?????? ?????????".
7. ????? ??? ??? ????????? ??????? ????????????, ???????? ???????: Are you sure?
8. ?????? ?????????? ??????? ????? ?? ????? ? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ??????. ????? ????? ???????????? ?????? ????? ?????, ???????? ???? ? ?????? ?? ???????????? - ??????? ??????????????.
9. ?????? ??? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ???????? ??????? ?????? ?????? - ?????????? ?????? ????? ?????? ????? ? ????? ?????????? ?? ???????.
10. ????? ????????? ?????, ????? ?????? ?????? START.

???????, ????? ????????.

Sorry all you english folk....i don't really feel like translating all of that, but if anybody else would like to, feel free 😀

yahuul !!!!!!!!!!
 
Neonerd, Im on to you.

You didn't start this "joke" because it was funny. You did it to show off you can read russian or whatever. I know your secrets!
 
Originally posted by: neonerd
???????, ?? ????????? ???????????? ???????? COMDEX ???? ????? ??????, ??? ???? ?? General Motors ?????????? ???, ??? Microsoft, ?? ?? ??? ??? ????? ?????? ?? ??????? ?????????? $25 ? ???????? ??????? 0.005 ='eb/100 ??.
????? ???? ????????????? GM ?????? ? ?????, ??? ???? ?? GM ???????? ????????? Microsoft, ??:
1. ????????? ??? ???????, ???????????????????? ?????? ???????? ?? ? ?????? 2 ???? ? ????.
2. ?????? ???, ????? ?????????? ?? ???????? ?? ??????, ??????????? ?? ???????? ????? ??????????.
3. ?????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????????????? ??????? ?????. ????? ??????? ??????, ???? ???? ?? ????????? ?????? ? ???????, ??????? ??? ????, ????????? ?????????, ??????? ??? ???? ? ?????? ????? ?????.
4. ???????? ??????? ??????, ?????? ????? ?????????? ? ?????? ?? ?????????. ????? ???????? ?????????????????? ?????????.
5. ???????? ?????? ?? ??????????, ??????? ?? ??????????? ??????? ??????, ??? ?? ? ???? ??? ??????? ???? ?? Microsoft, ????? ????? ? ?????????? - ?? ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ?? 5% ?????.
6. ??????? ??????????? ?????????, ??????? ???????, ???????? ????? ???????? ?? ?? ???? - ????????????: "??? ?????? ??????????? ??????????? ???????? ? ?????? ?????????".
7. ????? ??? ??? ????????? ??????? ????????????, ???????? ???????: Are you sure?
8. ?????? ?????????? ??????? ????? ?? ????? ? ?? ?? ??????? ??????? ??????. ????? ????? ???????????? ?????? ????? ?????, ???????? ???? ? ?????? ?? ???????????? - ??????? ??????????????.
9. ?????? ??? ??? ??????? ?????? ???? ???????? ??????? ?????? ?????? - ?????????? ?????? ????? ?????? ????? ? ????? ?????????? ?? ???????.
10. ????? ????????? ?????, ????? ?????? ?????? START.

???????, ????? ????????.

Sorry all you english folk....i don't really feel like translating all of that, but if anybody else would like to, feel free 😀

Translation: Please kill me for posting random gibberish
 
Originally posted by: Grey
Is it mocking corp slogans or something?

no, it's what the CEO of GM said to get back at bill gates when Gates said that if GM was developing it's cars as fast and as good as Microsoft, then cars would cost $25...GM guy said some funny stuff
 
Originally posted by: raildogg
Originally posted by: b0mbrman
Alright, for everybody - Link

bump

Thank you.

Neonerd, this is a really old joke in English.

I guess it is mildly funny that the russians are just getting jokes that were old in the US by 1993.
 
Well, maybe not 1993, but snopes says this has been around since 1997, so I'll bet it wasn't new then

link
 
Lol, I can't believe none of you guys got this, it should have been obvious without the translation.

Its a russian translation of one of the oldest jokes around
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that get 1,000 to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (From Mr. Welch himself): "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:"

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Ran McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
 
Let's see here....excercising my fledgling Russian comprehension skills I do believe I can make out the words "Microsoft," "$25," "5%," "are you sure," and "start"
 
Speak, at last computer exhibition COMDEX Bill Gates has declared, that if General Motors developed how Microsoft, we already all for a long time would go by machines in cost of $25 and the charge of fuel 0.005 = ' eb/100 km.
A day later representative GM has declared in the answer, that if GM repeated tendencies Microsoft:
1. Absolute without the reason, the average machine would get in failure 2 times a day.
2. Each time when the marking on road would change, the new automobile would be necessary to buy.
3. Sometimes the machine simply would stop in the middle of highway. To go further, it would be necessary ????????? the machine to ???????, to close all WINDOWS, to muffle the engine, to open all WINDOWS and only then to go.
4. Carrying out complex(difficult) maneuver, the machine can decay and not be got(started) any more. Then it is necessary ?????????????????? the engine.
5. The mackintosh would be made with the automobile which would use energy of the sun, would be five times faster ???? from Microsoft, it is twice easier in management - but could go only on 5 % of roads.
6. Gauges of temperature of the engine, ??????? batteries, would replace pressure of oil on one and only: " This Machine has carried out illegal operation and now will decay ".
7. Before will work pillows of safety, the inscription will appear: Are you sure?
8. Sometimes the automobile will close a door on the lock and you cannot get inside. Then it is necessary to press simultaneously the handle of a door, to insert a key and to press a radio antenna - system will be unblocked.
9. Each time at purchase new ???? is necessary to study to go anew - management of each new machine will differ radically from old.
10. To muffle the motor, it is necessary to press button START.

Speak, Gates has taken offence.
 
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