Yes, I guess that means everyone, but I'm referring specifically to you with parents who've decided to stake their confidence, pride,and family honor upon the success of their children. I've been tempted to label this as an Asian parent syndrome, but I'm sure this situation is quite universal.
My question is this: why?
Why do they have to do this? My parents are of average intelligence but well-to-do thanks to the business acumen of my grandfather. My academic accomplishments in high school have led them to believe that I'm of above average intelligence, and so they've decided that I will be the one that will do wonderful and great things, or at least someone that they can brag to 'friends' about, and at family/clan gatherings. So due to my performance in high school, I've given them that for four plus years.
Too bad they didn't realize that I had all these self-esteem issues and confidence problems that were obscured by academic success. So when I hit the roughest academic bump (tremendous underexaggeration) in my life as yet, all hell breaks loose. My parents become hush-hush about me. I'm not allowed to answer the phone for fear that their 'friends' will ask about me. They don't go out to social functions. But the worst is that deep, searing, pervasive shame that they have of me.
Yes, they haven't disowned me, but that Chinese parent/children bond is more than permanent if that's possible. Yet I feel unbelievably saddened by the fact that, when all is well and life is good, they stand by me, but when the going gets REALLY tough, they leave me out to dry emotionally.
In the end, I'm still alive, my parents are still alive and they have their health, I'm still relatively young, and I'm positive that I have the ability to change things in the future, but this rut is very difficult to handle.
Yes, this is simply a rant, and yes, I did grow up spoiled, but yes, I'm working on 'despoilation'.
I don't expect anyone to solve this for me, but I would really like to hear about people's similar, or even dissimilar experiences with their parents. In fact, I'd like to hear from you parents out there, and how you dealt with spoiled brats like me who've painfully started to come of age.
My question is this: why?
Why do they have to do this? My parents are of average intelligence but well-to-do thanks to the business acumen of my grandfather. My academic accomplishments in high school have led them to believe that I'm of above average intelligence, and so they've decided that I will be the one that will do wonderful and great things, or at least someone that they can brag to 'friends' about, and at family/clan gatherings. So due to my performance in high school, I've given them that for four plus years.
Too bad they didn't realize that I had all these self-esteem issues and confidence problems that were obscured by academic success. So when I hit the roughest academic bump (tremendous underexaggeration) in my life as yet, all hell breaks loose. My parents become hush-hush about me. I'm not allowed to answer the phone for fear that their 'friends' will ask about me. They don't go out to social functions. But the worst is that deep, searing, pervasive shame that they have of me.
Yes, they haven't disowned me, but that Chinese parent/children bond is more than permanent if that's possible. Yet I feel unbelievably saddened by the fact that, when all is well and life is good, they stand by me, but when the going gets REALLY tough, they leave me out to dry emotionally.
In the end, I'm still alive, my parents are still alive and they have their health, I'm still relatively young, and I'm positive that I have the ability to change things in the future, but this rut is very difficult to handle.
Yes, this is simply a rant, and yes, I did grow up spoiled, but yes, I'm working on 'despoilation'.
I don't expect anyone to solve this for me, but I would really like to hear about people's similar, or even dissimilar experiences with their parents. In fact, I'd like to hear from you parents out there, and how you dealt with spoiled brats like me who've painfully started to come of age.