For those of you over 18: how often do you consult with your parents

[erub]

Flame on:

It seems that there is a battle on ATOT between the indepedence of teenage kids and their parents..should the kid be allowed to have a car, a governor put on it, or should the parent allow their 13 year old to watch a rated R movie at school, etc

My parents were never very strict on me, at least not in a traditional sense where they wouldn't let me go out and have fun with my friends (not a wild group), see the movies I wanted to see, even drinking was allowed in their presence in HS. They were also very generous with me, and I know and appreciate that fact..I got a car, I never had to take out loans for college or grad school, stuff that wasn't paid for by scholarships they covered

However sometimes I feel like I never really broke free from them. Popular consensus on here seems to be that you protect your kid until they are 18, then all of a sudden they leap into freedom and somehow know what to do. Yes, I went to college by myself away from home, but major decisons and even some smaller ones (i.e. can I go to the beach for spring break?) I would ask my parents opinion and/or approval (which I usually got--including the spring break trip).

Right now I'm almost 23, in grad school about 1000 miles away, which I probably wouldn't have gone to had they advised/pushed me to go. I also would only marry a girl that they approve of (despite all these threads on here about guys not caring if the girls parents approve of them..I find the girls I date to care even more what their parents think about the prospective boy)...I think part of the reason I want to get back with an ex that moved away as that my mother liked her so much, and I doubt that I will find another that they like as much

Also sometmes I think that I give my parents (well especially my mother) decision-making power because I allow them to pay for stuff for me. But it seems kind of dumb not to let them..i.e. whats the point in me taking out a bunch of loans and being in debt?

Also,those of you who are now financially indepedent of your parents, was it your decision to do so, or did your parents say that they dont want to pay for you/can't afford it?

So am I becoming mature by not wanting to 'rebel', and consulting with those who are older/wiser (and then almost always taking their decision), or am I still under my parents thumb? Help the confused 'adult'..

 

[waggy]

do i ask for my parents advice? sure! do i always fallow it? nope.

 

[xanis]

You're NEVER too old to seek advice, because you will ALWAYS have dilemmas. Admitting your faults and getting help is a sign of strength (to me at least).

 

[Heisenberg]

You're an idiot if you don't take advantage of your parents' wisdom and guidance IMHO. However, you shouldn't base your decisions solely off what they say or be afraid to do something against their wishes.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
You're an idiot if you don't take advantage of your parents' wisdom and guidance IMHO. However, you shouldn't base your decisions solely off what they say or be afraid to do something against their wishes.

Good advice.

 

[punjabiplaya]

MOST of the time, your parents have nothing but love and concern for you. I agree that you should ask for advice no matter the age, but making a decision left up to you.
Your parents (probably) love you and are going to do whatever they can to make you happy, but they, just like you, are only human.

edit: In the end, you don't have to face up to your parents, teachers, bosses, spouse, whoever, but just yourself.

 

[astrosfan90]

Originally posted by: waggy
do i ask for my parents advice? sure! do i always fallow it? nope.

Bingo. I talk to my parents at least once a week, and share most of my life decisions with them ahead of time. I just don't always agree with their positions on things, but often they have valuable insight and advice. And every so often they can help me out in some way I hadn't thought of.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
You're an idiot if you don't take advantage of your parents' wisdom and guidance IMHO. However, you shouldn't base your decisions solely off what they say or be afraid to do something against their wishes.

yeap!

I ask my father for advice all the time. granted i do not take it. and when i should have did what he said he is not a asshole about it.

 

[Supermercado]

If either of them knows more than I do about what I'm trying to decide on, I'll definitely ask and probably follow their advice. Same with my other family members; my aunt is an accountant so I do what she suggests as far as taxes for instance.

As for whose decision it was to become financially independent, a decision wasn't really made. I lived at home for summers and breaks during school and when I got a job, I moved out. I didn't say "I have to leave" and they didn't say "you have to leave" or anything. I'm 24, btw.

 

[pontifex]

hmm...lately i haven't. i bought 2 cars, and got a loan for like $18k for school over the years without consulting them.

 

[Lonyo]

I make decisions myself, but I usually run it by my parents to get their opinion, which usually agrees with mine, but they can sometimes think of things I might not, due to experience, so it's always handy just in case.
Usually they agree with what I've decided.

 

[LanceM]

25, married, live in the same city as my parents, and speak with them a few times each week.

My wife and I speak with them often regarding big decisions. But right now we're trying to move several hours away for a job and my mom is unhappy about it, especially given that my older sister (and her kids, aka my mom's grandchildren) moved a few years ago to the same city; she's worried that, like them, she will only see us a few times each year. I'd be a fool to turn down this job (considering that there are virtually no jobs where we live now), so I'll just have to live with my mom being ticked at me.

Aside from this one issue, we always take their advice to heart.

 

[slsmnaz]

I ask advice on the things I'm not familiar with like when I bought my first house, car etc. I view my parents as a great source since they have nothing but my best interest in mind.

 

[Injury]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
You're an idiot if you don't take advantage of your parents' wisdom and guidance IMHO. However, you shouldn't base your decisions solely off what they say or be afraid to do something against their wishes.

Exactly my thoughts. I help my mom and dad learn new things (mostly related to technology) all the time. I will NEVER, IMO, be smarter than them though. They gave me a good life and spared me many of the struggles they had growing up that taught them many things that, fortunately, I only have to take their word on.

I don't have to be making a decision to love hearing their input on the situation.

 

[Atheus]

My father is completely separated from the modern world as far as I can tell, and his well meaning but pointless attempts at parenting did more harm than good I think.

I would ask my mother for advice, though it often seems she should take some of that same advice herself.

 

[LS20]

largest purchases were car and big screen and did not tell them about it. they dont know who im dating either.

i only keep the parental unit notice of when im leaving the country

 

[DaWhim]

parents are never part of my decision making.

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: waggy
do i ask for my parents advice? sure! do i always fallow it? nope.

 

[FoBoT]

about never

 

[FDF12389]

Not very often, my parents are extremely conservative and very ignorant. I can predict exactly what they would say if I asked them anything, so I just don't ask. that doesn't mean I don't seek advice from other older adults I respect.

Quick version:

Me: Hey dad, which one of these two cars is better?
My dad: Why don't you pray about it.
Me: I am, but I want to know what you think since your in the auto business.
My dad: Neither, you dont need a car like that, keep it simple, quit wasting your money, if you keep spending you will never retire.

My dad on whether to get the dodge stratus($8,000) or a slightly older volkswagen jetta($9,000) an and I didnt.

Oh, I ended up with a dodge neon. He wouldn't even go test drive it with me, cause he wanted me to buy our neighbors used minivan and I didn't listen to him.

 

[tweakmm]

My father didn't get to where he is by being an idiot.

I consult with him about business matters fairly often.

 

[DieselUV]

Originally posted by: waggy
do i ask for my parents advice? sure! do i always fallow it? nope.

ditto

 

[Cattlegod]

i pretty much ask anyone BUT my parents.

 

[JS80]

hmmm.....my parents always ask me for advice...

 

[BCYL]

My Dad and I have a great relationship, and I ask him all the time for career/investments/life advice