I'm hesitant to reply to posts like this, because I see where you are coming from.
But let me set the record straight. If you are so pissed off at lawyers that you will immediately argue with anything I have to say, then please stop reading now.
"A $25 coupon good for the purchase of their next system. meanwhile the partners get new BMWs while laughing all the way to the bank." Yes that would be nice, however that is not always the case. When you go to a lawyer, and you say "I want to sue someone, but you only get paid if we win," do you understand what you are asking? IF THEY WIN. If they do not win or settle, then they are out massive expenses in addition to opportunity loss. Lawyers have families, they have to eat. Not all lawyers are rich, or even close.
Sure, in some cases they do make a lot, but others it is not so. You do not know how many hours they put in. You do not take into account those loser cases that costed the firm plenty while costing clients nothing, although nobody pays attention to this fact. People rather focus on the dollar value of the winning case. You think suing a large corporation that has endless resources is easy work? Try it sometime. Here are just some of the tasks that must be completed before a trial: Research, interviews, travel, court expenses, depositions, expert witness depositions. The tasks takes so much time you would be shocked.
What is the alternative? "Mr. Lawyer, I'd like to sue Big Co."
"O.K. My hourly fee is $150/hour. I estimate it will take 100 hours to settle or prepare for trial. I'll take half as a retainer."
"But I don't have $7,500. If I win, I'll get some money. Then I'll pay you."
"I can't take the chance that we'll lose. If we lose, how happy will you be at shelling out $15,000 to me? I have to eat, too."
As an aside, this is why "loser pays" is the worst thing that could come down the pipe. How many poor people will be able to sue Ford over the Pinto, or a baby clothing company that made flammable children's sleepwear? NONE. Rich people will be fine, as usual. Poor and normal people get the shaft.
I agree that class actions give a lot to the lawyers and little to the plaintiffs. I think it stinks. But there are 1000s of plaintiffs and a few lawyers. The alternative: pay them by the hour or sue someone yourself.
If you would like some more information on how attorneys work, I wil be happy to provide it. If you do not believe me, please go ask a lawyer that you know. Lawyers may have been reviled since the middle ages, but that doesn't mean they ALWAYS screw people.