Finally have what I want, I think, but I'm hurting someone, which makes me question it.

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
Cliffs:

1. dated girl for 3 years, wasn't really physically attracted, caused problems.
2. met new girl a month ago, awesome girl, but I wasn't 100% physical attracted. NOT with this girl.
3. hooked up with really hot girl last night because I had the chance. I loved every minute of it. First time in my entire life I felt really turned on.
4. girl in cliff #2 is starting to get curious. She's really nice, I have a LOT of fun with her, but she doesn't get me going like the girl in cliff #3.

/rant
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
5
61
Dump them all. If your attention is focused on someone who isn't a match for you, you might miss the one who is.
 

Stunt

Diamond Member
Jul 17, 2002
9,717
2
0
Must be physically attracted to the women you date. Don't think looks and personality compete against each other. If you can't find both, keep looking :)
 

Hyperlite

Diamond Member
May 25, 2004
5,664
2
76
Thats a tough call dude. If physical and mental aspects are equally important to you (they are to me too), you will just have to wait and find someone who is just all around awesome. I know someone like that, and she has voiced interest in me to my friends, but she has a very serious BF. :(

good luck to you.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
The solution is to ram an icepick through both frontal lobes, so you don't post these damned threads anymore.
 

bsobel

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Dec 9, 2001
13,346
0
0
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Cliffs:

1. dated girl for 3 years, wasn't really physically attracted, caused problems.
2. met new girl a month ago, awesome girl, but I wasn't 100% physical attracted. NOT with this girl.
3. hooked up with really hot girl last night because I had the chance. I loved every minute of it. First time in my entire life I felt really turned on.
4. girl in cliff #2 is starting to get curious. She's really nice, I have a LOT of fun with her, but she doesn't get me going like the girl in cliff #3.

/rant

Men fall in love with women they are attracted to. Women become attracted to men they are in love with.

Translation: WTF! STOP DATING WOMAN YOUR NOT ATTRACTED TO. That is seriously like the second stupidest YAGT today (right behind the my FB likes me and I like her, waaaaa waaa, can we date?)

We need to start passing some OT rules like over 18 and (if male) the ability to make any decision without asking a forum of complete strangers for their approval.

Translation: Post about nailing the hot asian girl, and include pics next time. The other stuff is your deal (see first point, your nuts) and we don't care.
 

Ophir

Golden Member
Mar 29, 2001
1,211
4
81
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
The solution is to ram an icepick through both frontal lobes, so you don't post these damned threads anymore.
This should be the default response to every new YAGT he makes. I predict it'll be used tomorrow, or Tuesday at the latest.

Hopefully he can find an icepick.
 

neutralizer

Lifer
Oct 4, 2001
11,552
1
0
How the hell do you go out with people you're not attracted to? That doesn't even make any sense unless you're just an idiot.
 

bsobel

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Dec 9, 2001
13,346
0
0
Originally posted by: neutralizer
How the hell do you go out with people you're not attracted to? That doesn't even make any sense unless you're just an idiot.

Thank you. (Then again, picture the average ATOT'r. Do you really imagine supermodels on their arms?). Lacking looks (presumably), money (in some cases), and a personality (in many cases) some guys are doomed to date 'that' girl from the back of the class ;)
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
Cliffs:

1. dated girl for 3 years, wasn't really physically attracted, caused problems.
2. met new girl a month ago, awesome girl, but I wasn't 100% physical attracted. NOT with this girl.
3. hooked up with really hot girl last night because I had the chance. I loved every minute of it. First time in my entire life I felt really turned on.
4. girl in cliff #2 is starting to get curious. She's really nice, I have a LOT of fun with her, but she doesn't get me going like the girl in cliff #3.

/rant

Dude you need to step up and move on if someone isn't right for you...esp if not physically attracted. I see two typical scenarios in this though: You have probably made them feel like crap the last 3 years and just didn't have any other possibilities until now or you now are looking for an exit strategy and will pull the 'sex was never good with her' routine.

Long story short...people that hear others bitch on how the sex was terrible when the relationship lasted months or more know you are a tool.

In regards to one chick not wanting you dating another chick...I would just flat out state you are not looking for anything serious. That has gotten me more ahead than trying to get around it. The funniest stuff is hearing "I never really do this so soon with guys" or "I have never done this before".

May work in one's teens but dating in your 20's and beyond, it's just someone trying to be polite before the debauchery will happen.
 

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
OK, so i'll make this more clear for everyone...

The girl I dated for three years DID suck in bed, but she was my first, so I stayed in it because frankly, I thought something was wrong with me. It turned out to be an attraction issue, which I now know and have proven to myself while sleeping with a fwb earlier this year. Separate point.

As far as the two girls now, I am physically attracted to both of them. One of them is definite long term relationship material, she is pretty, and fun to be around, and cares about me a lot. The other, is the typical former cheerleader, VERY VERY physically attractive girl, with no potential for an LTR. I usually go for the first type, but I've always wanted a night or two with the second type just to see how my hormones would react differently. Well, last night, I hooked up with the second type, and although it was fairly empty, I was really turned on. Hence my confusion: go for the girl that makes me happy and has good potential, or go for the girl who drives me crazy sexually?

That was my initial request.



 

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Oct 11, 2000
16,843
2
0
The first girl does it for you physically right? Well either way when you have been together 5yrs+ you will get less physical anyway (so the older longer term married guys say :p). Go with the girl you actually enjoy the company of. But having said that just do both until you get more serious with no1. It isn't as if your actually bf/gf with no1 right? Your young go and not in a serious relationship so go have loads of care free sex as much as you can (protected) until you get serious.

Koing
 

bsobel

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Dec 9, 2001
13,346
0
0
Hence my confusion: go for the girl that makes me happy and has good potential, or go for the girl who drives me crazy sexually?

Wait and find one that does both. Hell, there are three billion women on the planet, the two your talking about are at best a rounding error. They will fall off when the calculations are complete. Further, if you think your chances of find that girl that does both are one in a million, you still got a pretty good pool to work from.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: bsobel
"I never really do this so soon with guys"

I hear that, I just bring a female wingman ;)

;)...I always ponder the 'guy' quantifier. Maybe if I end up back and that situation I will ask, what about with chicks? Usually though if she is bringing that comment up, she is hit or miss already and I'd rather hit it.

One of my strangest dates was a pretty aggressive chick...she suggested a movie at her place (it was VCR still :)) for our 3rd or 4th date and she'd make dinner. I can't remember the exact wording but told me flat out that it didn't mean I was spending the night there so don't get the wrong idea. :)

Well she ended up ordering in which was fine with me telling me she can't really cook, food is not so important and I'd rather have more time with a date than them in the kitchen unless I can help.

Anyway 15-20mins into our meal and movie, we aren't making out or anything like that and we really hadn't up to that point. I had kissed her on the doorstep twice I think and was thinking she wasn't interested since when I'd try to make a move she'd shut me down...I asked to come in to her place and she told me flat out no.

Yet that night and what ended up happening every date after that; she just drops a "grab my arm, stands up and says wanna get naked in bed?" I asked her is this some kind of test? I told her I am not looking to get serious, but I was interested in her. Her reply was basically she understood that, but I knew I better not call her out though..

I 'dated' her for weeks, it was always just show up at her place and get naked and whatever happened happened. Finally she met another guy and wanted to get engaged. We were young. I don't know if it worked out with them or not. He was loaded, pretty good looking and young too, I think his dad owned a restaurant he ran or something like that, we would talk about him in bed after sex. He seemed like a good guy, but based on my experience she'd have it easy to rope in any guy. He bought her a lot of crap.

 

bsobel

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Dec 9, 2001
13,346
0
0
One of my strangest dates was a pretty aggressive chick...she suggested a movie at her place (it was VCR still :)) for our 3rd or 4th date and she'd make dinner. I can't remember the exact wording but told me flat out that it didn't mean I was spending the night there so don't get the wrong idea. :)

Reminds me somewhat of a girl I was dating about 2 years ago. On our first date we went back to the cabin to watch a movie (Elf of all things). She had made it 'clear' earlier that this was just a first date and, well you know the drill. Half way thru the movie she got a bit 'frisky' and finally said 'you know we don't have to finish the movie right?'. I just said, 'I know, but we will'. She squirmed thru the entire second half and she jumped me as soon as the credits rolled. I think that is honestly the only movie we finished the entire time we were together.

 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: mjuszczak
As far as the two girls now, I am physically attracted to both of them. One of them is definite long term relationship material, she is pretty, and fun to be around, and cares about me a lot. The other, is the typical former cheerleader, VERY VERY physically attractive girl, with no potential for an LTR. I usually go for the first type, but I've always wanted a night or two with the second type just to see how my hormones would react differently. Well, last night, I hooked up with the second type, and although it was fairly empty, I was really turned on. Hence my confusion: go for the girl that makes me happy and has good potential, or go for the girl who drives me crazy sexually?

That was my initial request.

Well over the years you will/should meet a lot of former models, cheerleaders, dance squad, etc chicks if you are really dating.

Only you can decide what you 'want/need'. Personally I think you discredit yourself by not dating a lot. Sure sex happens at times, but it seems as you get older you actually want your lady to have been around the block a few times. If you like the sex happy chick, she has usually done 'it' before.

I used to be so scared of a chick that slept around having a mother that was an OB/GYN nurse and studying biology esp. medicine.

Prior to my first wife, who was my first real intercourse...I tried and failed with 3 other chicks; the memories are a bit embarassing now...maybe more since it was them that made the moves always. I'd just talk and entertain them, I was so stupid.

Most people just jump from serious relationship to serious and never break up and just accept all the deal breakers.

I often look at the numbers for partners at each age level. I always think they are way too low in my personal experience. I am not a Wilt Chamberlin with 10000+ or a Gene Simmons with his gumballs for each chick in a large jar, but I couldn't count them accurately or report their names for all the women I actually went all the way with...way more that I had naked and just messed around.

I think a lot that happens just messing around is a lot worse than the actual 'sex'.


 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: bsobel

Reminds me somewhat of a girl I was dating about 2 years ago. On our first date we went back to the cabin to watch a movie (Elf of all things). She had made it 'clear' earlier that this was just a first date and, well you know the drill. Half way thru the movie she got a bit 'frisky' and finally said 'you know we don't have to finish the movie right?'. I just said, 'I know, but we will'. She squirmed thru the entire second half and she jumped me as soon as the credits rolled. I think that is honestly the only movie we finished the entire time we were together.

women are nutty.