OH so youre lieing to the insurance company..to pay less.... well that makes it all ok..
HOW ABOUT TELLING THE TRUTH...
what else are you lieing about?
OH so youre lieing to the insurance company..to pay less.... well that makes it all ok..
HOW ABOUT TELLING THE TRUTH...
what else are you lieing about?
If you are good to your soon to be wife, provide for your family, are a decent person, do not do drugs, act like a moron, or jack off in your in-law's house (my sister's fiance has done all of those), then your future FIL should butt the hell out and stop being a prick.
There was once a time when my future FIL told me that unless I bought a house the way he wanted me to buy a house, he'd demand that his daughter not buy it with me.
Parents need to check their aprons at the door, as long as there are no major issues with how you are treating their child.
There was once a time when my future FIL told me that unless I bought a house the way he wanted me to buy a house, he'd demand that his daughter not buy it with me.
Parents need to check their aprons at the door, as long as there are no major issues with how you are treating their child.
next problems i see coming up are:
is she gonna want him to walk her down the isle?
if yes will he do it?
will he be invited to the wedding at all?
will he crash it?
is she gonna want him to walk her down the isle?
if yes will he do it?
will he be invited to the wedding at all?
will he crash it?
Actually, that engagement ring is often legally the property of the man if an engagement is broken off. Probably depends on the state, but it is considered to be part of a 'contract' so to speak, and if the contract is broken before the wedding, the ring has to be given back. It isn't legally considered a 'gift' the way a stereo or a bracelet would be.
preslove
Lifer
- Sep 10, 2003
- 16,754
- 64
- 91
Buy a beater or get a real cheap lease. Your finances are about to get run over by a very cute, very huggable elephant stampede of baby destruction 
Oh, and write a letter to piece of sh!t telling him he's out of your life. Child abusers should be shot.
Edit: if you know anyone associated with a dealership you might want to tell them your story and ask them if they could get you a car at the next dealer auction. I got a 2002 hyundai accent with 80k for a $3,700 check. $650 went to the dealer.
Oh, and write a letter to piece of sh!t telling him he's out of your life. Child abusers should be shot.
Edit: if you know anyone associated with a dealership you might want to tell them your story and ask them if they could get you a car at the next dealer auction. I got a 2002 hyundai accent with 80k for a $3,700 check. $650 went to the dealer.
Zenmervolt
Elite member
- Oct 22, 2000
- 24,514
- 44
- 91
No-one, and I mean NO-ONE has said it was OK for him to beat her.
But if the car is in his name, it is his. He has every right to repossess it. Your fiancee was foolish, given her father's previous actions, not to get the title into her name at the beginning.
That said, I do not believe that he is morally right in this situation, and while I agree that you are both very young to be having a child (especially out of wedlock, but that's a whole other can of worms), I completely disagree with the way that he is handling the situation.
ZV
ViviTheMage
Lifer
I'll tell you something it took my father twenty-five years and a divorce to realise and repent. When you marry a girl, you marry her family.
That's especially true when you produce a child. The guy's a tard, yeah you should control your contact with him but he's still her father and still the grandfather of that kid. You will really ****** with your kid if you maintain this level of hostility toward him. Consider that children model their parents relationships. Do you want your child to have this kind of relationship with anyone? I wouldn't.
Let the guy cool down, don't initiate any contact with him. But be open to the possibility of him being part of the childs, and his daughters life. That's really the only sensible course of action.
I say congratulations on bewing pregnant! I started out young in the children department.
I was 21 when the first was born. It is harder for the couple financially when you are young, most people have not developed a career yet by that age, but physically you are much better off having children before the age of thirty. They will wear you down physically and then wear you down mentally when they get older. Do not write the FIL off
completely, remember you are going to be parents, that means you need to teach your children all the right things in life to do. Forgivness of family can be important, especially if the FIL comes around at some point. I never really cared much for my parents, but was still shocked emotionally when the passed away. Your fiance might harbor feelings that she is not even aware of conciously. Just be supportive of your own children and give them the right amount of discipline. They will make mistakes but teach them how to have support for themselves and they will learn form their experiences.
BTW: Need pics of the fiance, this is ATOT OFF TOPIC after all.
I was 21 when the first was born. It is harder for the couple financially when you are young, most people have not developed a career yet by that age, but physically you are much better off having children before the age of thirty. They will wear you down physically and then wear you down mentally when they get older. Do not write the FIL off
completely, remember you are going to be parents, that means you need to teach your children all the right things in life to do. Forgivness of family can be important, especially if the FIL comes around at some point. I never really cared much for my parents, but was still shocked emotionally when the passed away. Your fiance might harbor feelings that she is not even aware of conciously. Just be supportive of your own children and give them the right amount of discipline. They will make mistakes but teach them how to have support for themselves and they will learn form their experiences.
BTW: Need pics of the fiance, this is ATOT OFF TOPIC after all.
These are things we have discussed. Even though I hate the guy he is still her father, I dont object to any of it. But if he screwed up my wedding I seriously think I would have to inflict bodily harm at this point
I don't agree with many here that you are too young to start a family, that's preposterous.
On the other hand, you start off complaining about the car, then like an afterthought you toss out some allegation about the father being abusive, as if the two things have anything to do with each other.
And you say your going to take away his rights as a grandparent, because of the car ? Not the "abuse"..
If he was actually abusive, why would you even want the car ?
What about the rights of your child to have a grandfather ? Are you thinking about that ?
On the other hand, you start off complaining about the car, then like an afterthought you toss out some allegation about the father being abusive, as if the two things have anything to do with each other.
And you say your going to take away his rights as a grandparent, because of the car ? Not the "abuse"..
If he was actually abusive, why would you even want the car ?
What about the rights of your child to have a grandfather ? Are you thinking about that ?
I totally agree with oyu, i hate the guy but he is still "Family" even if I don't like him. I just don't think he will ever care. The guy is a real piece of work, told her to leave me and he would give the car back( I just found this out)
HomeBrewerDude
Lifer
- Jan 18, 2001
- 14,465
- 1
- 0
You're probably going to have to build some boundaries between you and your fiance and her dad. Do not accept anything from him under any circumstance. Make it very clear both with actions and words that you expect nothing from him and that you will not accept any foolishness from him in the future. If he wants a relationship with his daughter, you, and the baby, he will have to act responsibly and follow the rules that you and your soon to be wife have set for your family.
I am thinking about all that. If he DOES come around then I will let him see him, you are right it's not place to make that judgment. But, it will be supervised by either me or my fiance. The reason I mentioned the abuse is because it's not an afterthough but because beyond physical abuse he still abuses her emotionally. he calls her stupid and tells her she isn't worth a ****** and tells her she will never amount to anything.
I should have mentioned all this but just considered it all filler, I wasn't really trying to concentrate on him but opinions of the situation instead, comments suggetsions, anything. After he said all these things, we had words, because he said it when he found out she was pregnant. I couldn't take it anymore and went off on him verbally telling him what a pice of sh*t he was so I am over yelling at him. I honestly was not trying to focus on him but the situation itself.
Not much you can do. The car is legally his. Yeah, it sucks, but there's really nothing you can do except get a new car STAT.
My ex's mother was the same way. She didn't want to see her daughter unless she was being a slave to her. Crazy Vietnamese woman of DOOM. Makes me glad I don't have to put up with her anymore.
Best advice: Don't allow her father into the lives of you or your fiance again. He'll only be there to cause problems, and it will all be easier if you just ignore him. Eventually he will go away, and possibly mend his ways a few years later because of it. I know it can be difficult, and it will be difficult for your fiance. It's hard to push one of your parents out of your life because they are constantly trying to screw you, or bring total chaos into your life.
I've had to do it with my own mother. We think that she's bi polar, however, she refuses to take medication for it, and insists that she has no problem. She's driven to towns 2 hours away and broken into homes, wandered around on the streets, and all kinds of other things. The problem was she wasn't ever a real threat to anyone, so she couldn't be admitted against her will. And she would refuse any help we tried to give her. It was hard seeing my mother, a woman who used to practice law, and became a grade school music/art teacher wreck her life, but there was nothing we could do, and getting involved would only make our lives more miserable because she would refuse to listen to or follow our advice.
So yeah. When you have someone who's being incredibly pig headed, it's best just to cut them and run. There's only so much you can do, and at this point it doesn't look like he's going to change his mind any time soon.
My ex's mother was the same way. She didn't want to see her daughter unless she was being a slave to her. Crazy Vietnamese woman of DOOM. Makes me glad I don't have to put up with her anymore.
Best advice: Don't allow her father into the lives of you or your fiance again. He'll only be there to cause problems, and it will all be easier if you just ignore him. Eventually he will go away, and possibly mend his ways a few years later because of it. I know it can be difficult, and it will be difficult for your fiance. It's hard to push one of your parents out of your life because they are constantly trying to screw you, or bring total chaos into your life.
I've had to do it with my own mother. We think that she's bi polar, however, she refuses to take medication for it, and insists that she has no problem. She's driven to towns 2 hours away and broken into homes, wandered around on the streets, and all kinds of other things. The problem was she wasn't ever a real threat to anyone, so she couldn't be admitted against her will. And she would refuse any help we tried to give her. It was hard seeing my mother, a woman who used to practice law, and became a grade school music/art teacher wreck her life, but there was nothing we could do, and getting involved would only make our lives more miserable because she would refuse to listen to or follow our advice.
So yeah. When you have someone who's being incredibly pig headed, it's best just to cut them and run. There's only so much you can do, and at this point it doesn't look like he's going to change his mind any time soon.
He's shocked and embarrassed to have an unwed, pregnant daughter, and he now has an unwanted vehicle sitting in his driveway taking up space. You and your fiancee need to just give him some time to finish his tantrum and see what happens. Your fiancee needs to tell him that she doesn't want to talk to him while he's out of control and that she'll be glad to talk to him when he's ready to treat her like an adult. Let him talk to the answering machine/voice mail in the meantime.
Did anybody else notice that there are three names on the title?
Did anybody else notice that there are three names on the title?
Did anybody else notice that there are three names on the title?
Did anybody else notice that there are three names on the title?
Did anybody else notice that there are three names on the title?
mugs
Lifer
- Apr 29, 2003
- 48,920
- 46
- 91
22 and pregnant and excited about it? I think the old man is right, you're too young to be having kids. You're scambling to find a used car for only a few thousand? Doesn't sound like you're financially prepared for kids.
Now don't get me wrong, people can have kids at a young age and do just fine. My parents had me when they were 21, and I have a brother who is 3 years older than me. But it's not easy. That baby will be your life for the next several years. I have a friend who is my age who had a kid when he was 23 - they're great parents, but it's tough to do anything with them because you always have to consider the baby.
I think her father is probably just concerned that you don't know all that having a baby involves. His solution is a bad one, because it makes the situation worse - but it's also a wake-up call. You have to be able to live without any financial support from your father-in-law.
And by the way, threatening to not let him be a grandparent to the kid because he took the car away was not a smart move. Grandparents come in handy as babysitters.
Now don't get me wrong, people can have kids at a young age and do just fine. My parents had me when they were 21, and I have a brother who is 3 years older than me. But it's not easy. That baby will be your life for the next several years. I have a friend who is my age who had a kid when he was 23 - they're great parents, but it's tough to do anything with them because you always have to consider the baby.
I think her father is probably just concerned that you don't know all that having a baby involves. His solution is a bad one, because it makes the situation worse - but it's also a wake-up call. You have to be able to live without any financial support from your father-in-law.
And by the way, threatening to not let him be a grandparent to the kid because he took the car away was not a smart move. Grandparents come in handy as babysitters.
You should have trashed the car....and dropped it off.
Honestly he could never have proved it was you that did it...and he would have had to eat it.
Honestly he could never have proved it was you that did it...and he would have had to eat it.
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