I'm not fully on board with this idea for some of the reasons you mention, but it's worth repeating that we're talking about people who choose not to pull themselves up, take chances, or do much of anything else for themselves. We're talking about people who choose to live a life of leisure and merely demand that society furnish them with better circumstances than they are willing to earn.
I understand that that's the boogeyman that conservatives imagine welfare recipients to be, I just call bullshit on it. The only evidence you have of them being lazy is that they're not successful, which is just circular logic. Most people on welfare are also hard workers. There are enormous numbers of working poor who can't get by despite their hard work. You would just tar them all with the brush of the "welfare queen" Ronald Reagan invented (or more accurately, used one con artist sociopath who committed tons of other crimes and pretended that all people receiving welfare are the same as her, just because it was an appealing idea to those who want to cut welfare).
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that are some people who fit that description - it's a big country and 15% of us are in poverty, so there's bound to be some shitty people in that 15%. But you seem to just assume that's the case for everyone in poverty.
I reject entirely the idea that people are in poverty
only because of their own decisions, and thus
only they are responsible for helping them out of poverty. We've all benefited from the cheaper goods that go alongside fewer jobs for Americans. We've all benefited from the cheap labor of the desperate in America making our companies' profits soar to record levels. We've had some major successes in combating poverty - the poverty rate is WAY lower than it was before Social Security, for example - but we could be doing much more if we weren't so concerned with our own checkbooks. Above all, if we actually DID give to charity and volunteer as seems to be the go-to conservative solution, we wouldn't need to be having this conversation at all.
On the 10.4 million in poverty in America despite working jobs:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs...illion-american-workers-are-still-in-poverty/
But with the core problem population, as BoberFett said: "If they choose to remain there and turn down education, then clearly it's not a bad life." Unfortunately they tend to pass along that mind set to their children who thus start life brutally handicapped by attitude as well as poverty.
This is, indeed, a very difficult and real problem. I sure don't have any easy, silver bullet answer to it, and I haven't heard anyone else with one either. We can't educate someone just by improving schools if parents aren't involved too - but we also can't force parents to do very much without destroying huge numbers of liberties and rights we all cherish. In the meantime, improving schools as much as we can is an important place to start, even if it won't fix everything itself. America's public schools do very well in international comparisons if you leave out schools surrounded by poverty, but those schools are generally abysmal.
In meantime, I think the argument that people in poverty need things to get
worse to get them to want out of poverty is absolutely insane. Poverty in America is fucking awful, if you have any kind of context for how everyone else lives. Unfortunately, as you point out, if you grow up in poverty you can normalize it in your mind - and that's true no matter how awful we make things. The human mind can suffer through and normalize all kinds of awful (as well as all kinds of luxury and wealth, which is why studies have shown that rich people are no happier, and often less happy, than middle class people.). As a society we need to work to make things as meritocratic as possible, so the talented and hard working can rise out of poverty, and those born rich but lazy/untalented can legitimately lose their riches rather than coasting forever on unearned inheritance. That can't happen if we don't do whatever we can to give opportunities to the children of the poor at a minimum.