mordantmonkey
Diamond Member
Why oh why? why wouldn't fedex spin-off the abomination that is Fedex Ground into a completely seperate corporate entity. They could give it an appropriate name like "Craptastiship" or "Inconvenience Express" Alas, it seems they already have in everything but name.
I mean ,if you are receiving a ground package they already treat you like you got herpes from a fat chick. And not the fun loving, pretty faced, pleasantly plump kind, but the obnoxious, loud-mouthed, self-important, hot pants wearing kind.
Upon receiving the notice on my door I figured I'd call to have them hold it. A reasonable request as UPS does this all the time, and i can just stop by on my way to or from work.
After realizing that their automated system is about as useful as a fur jockstrap in death valley, I go for a real live person. Upon giving her the tracking # she realizes that it's a "ground package" (read: a hot turd fedex wants nothing to do with) and informs me that they will have to deliver 2 more times before they will even hold it for me to pick up. WTF?! why? why would they waste time and energy trying to deliver a package when I know noone will pick it up? why would they want me to wait just for the sake of waiting? perhaps it is a conspiracy by fedex to promote greenhouse gas emissions? maybe they believe that anticipation will make the delivery that much more rewarding? who the fuck knows?
fortunately the rep was able to understand this and went ahead to flag the package to be held. though she couldn't "guarantee" anything.
OK, whatever... next day, to my surprise the tracking status shows "package held at location" well that's nice. i mean i guess telling me which one of the 40 staffed locations they have in the city would be too much to ask. So i call up 1800GOFUCKU again. Rep says "oh, its a ground package," like she's a stripper who just realized all of the blow is gone.
apparently it's in fucking san bruno. they couldn't fucking leave it at one of the 10 locations around my house? I mean, every single one accepts ground packages for pick up. is it too much to ask that they drop mine off instead of driving by my door 3 fucking times!
So i go online to look up their hours... It doesn't fucking exist. apparently not only does every employee of Fedex ground have scabies, but also their entire computer system is infected with a new virus that will infect the real fedex if they even mention the words "fedex ground"
I then have to call back a second time to get the hours from yet another rep.
Only then after making my way to a hidden bunker in san bruno, where all of Fedex's bastard children are locked away lest they cause a scandal, am I able to get my package.
Fedex,
I realize you want people to pay as much as possible for shipping. I know your margins aren't nearly as good as say, Exxon. But just because you make your ground service so shitty and inconvenient doesn't mean i'll splurge for $50 next day service; It just means i'll use UPS next time.
/rant
cliffs:
fuck you fedex
I mean ,if you are receiving a ground package they already treat you like you got herpes from a fat chick. And not the fun loving, pretty faced, pleasantly plump kind, but the obnoxious, loud-mouthed, self-important, hot pants wearing kind.
Upon receiving the notice on my door I figured I'd call to have them hold it. A reasonable request as UPS does this all the time, and i can just stop by on my way to or from work.
After realizing that their automated system is about as useful as a fur jockstrap in death valley, I go for a real live person. Upon giving her the tracking # she realizes that it's a "ground package" (read: a hot turd fedex wants nothing to do with) and informs me that they will have to deliver 2 more times before they will even hold it for me to pick up. WTF?! why? why would they waste time and energy trying to deliver a package when I know noone will pick it up? why would they want me to wait just for the sake of waiting? perhaps it is a conspiracy by fedex to promote greenhouse gas emissions? maybe they believe that anticipation will make the delivery that much more rewarding? who the fuck knows?
fortunately the rep was able to understand this and went ahead to flag the package to be held. though she couldn't "guarantee" anything.
OK, whatever... next day, to my surprise the tracking status shows "package held at location" well that's nice. i mean i guess telling me which one of the 40 staffed locations they have in the city would be too much to ask. So i call up 1800GOFUCKU again. Rep says "oh, its a ground package," like she's a stripper who just realized all of the blow is gone.
apparently it's in fucking san bruno. they couldn't fucking leave it at one of the 10 locations around my house? I mean, every single one accepts ground packages for pick up. is it too much to ask that they drop mine off instead of driving by my door 3 fucking times!
So i go online to look up their hours... It doesn't fucking exist. apparently not only does every employee of Fedex ground have scabies, but also their entire computer system is infected with a new virus that will infect the real fedex if they even mention the words "fedex ground"
I then have to call back a second time to get the hours from yet another rep.
Only then after making my way to a hidden bunker in san bruno, where all of Fedex's bastard children are locked away lest they cause a scandal, am I able to get my package.
Fedex,
I realize you want people to pay as much as possible for shipping. I know your margins aren't nearly as good as say, Exxon. But just because you make your ground service so shitty and inconvenient doesn't mean i'll splurge for $50 next day service; It just means i'll use UPS next time.
/rant
cliffs:
fuck you fedex
