Favorite Samuel Clemens quotes (Mark Twain)

[Brutuskend]

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

 

[fatalbert]

Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after tomorrow

 

[AreaCode707]

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

(For P&N)
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

 

[axelfox]

Golf is good walk spoiled.

 

[TheChort]

Originally posted by: HotChic
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

 

[kranky]

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

That is so true.

 

[chuckywang]

Originally posted by: TheChort

Originally posted by: HotChic
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

 

[Kindjal]

"What, Sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

 

[Brutuskend]

some good ones so far!

 

[Armitage]

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.

 

[Armitage]

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.

 

[Mucho]

The story goes billionaire Rockefeller would give a Bible to anyone who wants one, Mark Twain wrote him a letter asking if he could get the 25¢ instead.

 

[nakedfrog]

"October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February."

"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
:thumbsup:

"First God created idiots, this was for practice. Then he made congress."