Fart pads now available.

[shortylickens]

http://gawker.com/5922363/the-flatu...claim-that-your-farts-dont-stink?tag=fartwear

My opinion?

About 3/4 of you should look into these.

 

[Theb]

THE DECISION FART, OR PEE FART HAS LONG BEEN OVERLOOKED IN THIS LISTING UNTIL IT HAPPENED TO ME TONIGHT WHILE WALKING MY TWO PUGS. I HAD TO TAKE A LEAK BUT THE DOGS HAD TO GO OUT. NOW, THE DECISION FART IS A VERY COMMON BUT NOT SPOKEN ABOUT IN PUBLIC. TWO FACTORS COME INTO PLAY WITH THIS FART. FIRST, YOU HAVE TO PEE BUT FACILITIES NOT NEAR AND SECONDLY, A VERY STUBBORN FART REARS IT'S HEAD AT THE MOST INOPPORTUNE OF MOMENTS. THIS FART IS A REAL PUSHER TO GET OUT. COUPLE WITH THAT, URINE IS PUSHING ALSO. DECISION, DO YOU PUSH THE FART AND TINKLE A BIT IN YOUR DRAWERS OR BE UNCOMFORTABLE HAVING TO PEE AND ALSO FART. OHHH, DECISIONS, HENCE THE DECISION FART. ( I CHOSE THE TINKLE IN MY DRAWERS AS IT IS NIGHT AND I JUST HAD TO DISPELL THIS FART.) IT WAS REALLY ANNOYING ME.
PLEASE BUY FOR YOUR SAKE AND SO I CAN CONTINUE!

I love the ebay auction.

Q: WHY DOES A FART USUALLY END WITH A HIGHER PITCH?

A: THE TIGHTINING AND SLAMMING SHUT OF THE PUCKER STRING (SPHINCTER), SMALLER OPENING, HIGHER SOUND. KIND OF LIKE FART WHISTLING.

Q: WHY DOES A FART SMELL GOOD TO THE OFFENDER?

A: THIS HAS BEEN QUESTIONED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF MAN AND WOMAN, STILL WONDERING.

Q: WHAT IS THE BEST PART OF FARTING?

A: MYSELF AND 8 OUT OF 10 PEOPLE SAY the push and resultant relief. Some people, and all are different, enjoy the scent of thier fart. Some say the shock effect on others but again, in my opinion and a short survey, the push of relief and the pleasure (Ahhhhhhhh) finally feeling.

Q: DO MOVIE STARS AND CELEBRITIES FART?

A: WHY YES, OF COURSE. Even Grandmothers, kings, queens, priests, Presidents, Ayatollas, Opera Singers and even Nuns Fart. Even Yoda and Britney Spearz were chronic Farters and inspired her to initially title her song "Oop's, I FARTED again" also, the infamous "no underwear" photo was actually not for any other reason than she FART SPRAYED, no change of underwear, just might have my product (will never tell) and has never been photographed like that again! BUY TODAY, DON'T DELAY, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE DAY OR FUTURE HOLDS!

It just goes on and on...

 

[manimal]

Bestlulz of day

 

[blankslate]

I feel like I've just been elaborately pranked...

 

[Sonikku]

Women already have pads to cover their fart hole from smelling and bleeding and stuff. Is this just for men or something?

 

[Lanyap]

Does it have a built-in silencer?

 

[OCGuy]

Women already have pads to cover their fart hole from smelling and bleeding and stuff. Is this just for men or something?

Public school?

 

[gevorg]

this is perfect for my next ATOT secret santa

 

[trenchfoot]

Does it have a built-in silencer?

Yes. The economy model includes two ear plugs that you can be as creative as you like with them. The deluxe model is made by Bose and includes replaceable absorbent pads for those days when one experiences a nasty case of the juicy farts.

 

[wirednuts]

idiocracy... ugh... if you eat healthy you dont fart much and when you do it doesnt reek. this product is a bandaid to a hygiene problem. its like putting a plastic cover over your teeth so you dont have to brush them.

 

[alzan]

I'm torn over the possible purchase of this item. I think they'd be great as gifts for my friends and relatives who regularly pollute the immediate environment with their buttspeak.

I might purchase them for my own use; not because I'm afraid of losing friends but because I don't want to offend myself.

 

[wirednuts]

I might purchase them for my own use; not because I'm afraid of losing friends but because I don't want to offend myself.

you can eat whole foods and live longer, or you can wear a fart diaper and die with a slimy bottom. either way your farts dont stink

 

[wirednuts]

Public school?

rural public... yikes

 

[Lanyap]

Yes. The economy model includes two ear plugs that you can be as creative as you like with them. The deluxe model is made by Bose and includes replaceable absorbent pads for those days when one experiences a nasty case of the juicy farts.

Joke time: Little old lady goes to the doctor and says doctor, I have a terrible gas problem. I toot all the time. It doesn't smell or make any noise but it's very uncomfortable. Doctor gives her a script and says come back in two weeks. Old lady comes back in two weeks and says, doctor, I don't know what type of medicine you gave me but my toots now smell awful. Doctor says, good, now that we got your sinuses cleared up we'll work on your hearing.

 

[trenchfoot]

Joke time: Little old lady goes to the doctor and says doctor, I have a terrible gas problem. I toot all the time. It doesn't smell or make any noise but it's very uncomfortable. Doctor gives her a script and says come back in two weeks. Old lady comes back in two weeks and says, doctor, I don't know what type of medicine you gave me but my toots now smell awful. Doctor says, good, now that we got your sinuses cleared up we'll work on your hearing.

g1 I'll be jogging my memory to come up with another.

 

[WhipperSnapper]

Funniest must-watch fart-scene in movie history:

Hamburger: The Motion Picture Fab 400 scene

 

[Dude111]

Here is a gift for ya'll....


www.fart-sounds.net/fartboard.swf


Enjoy