Family: how you do interact with them, and are influenced by them?

[glenn1]

I have a couple of related questions, which i'd like to get the collective wisdom of the Anandtech crew about.

1. Do you think people act closer to what their "true" character is when they around their primary family (mother/father, siblings, grandparents, etc.), or when they aren't?

2. Do you feel you share more in common with, or have more differences with the other members of your primary family, then your friends and other significant people in your life?

3. How much do you feel your upbringing and interactions with the other members of your primary family influence your behavior, values, and outlook on life?

4. When in a relationship, how important do you think it is that your significant other's family be a group which you feel share your basic background and values? (not at all, somewhat, very, etc.)

 

[gopunk]

1. Do you think people act closer to what their "true" character is when they around their primary family (mother/father, siblings, grandparents, etc.), or when they aren't?

other people? probably aren't. but for me, it's the same either way. i guess i'm more likely to go after a girl if i'm not with my family though.

2. Do you feel you share more in common with, or have more differences with the other members of your primary family, then your friends and other significant people in your life?

more in common

3. How much do you feel your upbringing and interactions with the other members of your primary family influence your behavior, values, and outlook on life?

a lot... that's like what define's people's personalities!

4. When in a relationship, how important do you think it is that your significant other's family be a group which you feel share your basic background and values? (not at all, somewhat, very, etc.)

not at all, as long as they don't try and force their view on me.

 

[pulse8]

1. I think that you can see people's social flaws immediately by seeing how they are with their primary family members.

2. I have some stuff in common with my parents and A LOT in common with my sisters as well as my closest friends.

3. It has a lot to do with it. Growing up they are your anchor. They are where you learn how to be who you are.

4. I don't feel that I need to share anything but the love for my significant other with their family.

 

[monk3y]

1. I find that having been raised in a single parent household that my mom was sorta more a friend than a classic 'parent'. This enabled me to be very open with her and I act the same around her as I do with all my friends.

2. I have quite alot in common with my family and with my friends. I'd say it's just about equal but in different aspects.

3. ALOT, the way I act and react in different situations has to do with the way I was brought up and my belief system.

4. I have met my significant other's parents and I know for a fact that they are very different in many ways from my family. I don't think I need to change for them and don't think they should change in any way for me.

 

[jacklutz]

1. Not near family.

2. Not in common. They are my family, yes, but they are three of six-billion people on Earth.

3. I spend very little time with any of them.

4. Not necessary, but if you're going to be spending holidays together I'd hope I could tolerate them.

 

[notfred]

<< I have a couple of related questions, which i'd like to get the collective wisdom of the Anandtech crew about.

1. Do you think people act closer to what their "true" character is when they around their primary family (mother/father, siblings, grandparents, etc.), or when they aren't?

>>

I act more "natural" when my family's not around. I can't talk about sex or swear in front of my parents. I certainly can't leave the house how I like it when they're around. I'm not restrained in the same ways around my friends as I am my parents.

<<

2. Do you feel you share more in common with, or have more differences with the other members of your primary family, then your friends and other significant people in your life?

>>

I have more in common with my friends than I do my family. The reason my friends are my friends is because we have common interests. The reason my family is my family is because we were born that way. I have very few interests in common with anyone in my family.

<<

3. How much do you feel your upbringing and interactions with the other members of your primary family influence your behavior, values, and outlook on life?

>>

My upbringing has definitely affected my values to an extent, but I don't think it had a big impact on my behavior or outlook on life

<<

4. When in a relationship, how important do you think it is that your significant other's family be a group which you feel share your basic background and values? (not at all, somewhat, very, etc.) >>



Don't really care as long as they're pleasant to be around for a few hours on holidays, etc.

 

[linuxboy]

1. Do you think people act closer to what their "true" character is when they around their primary family (mother/father, siblings, grandparents, etc.), or when they aren't?

Mind doesn't like these complex things like "true character". Can you please explain that? DO you mean a self free of inhibition? Free of what kind of inhibition? A person complete in their personality? personality is dynamic so...

I would wager to state that old shared experiences form "mental scripts" that cause patterns of interactions. With a familym those patterns are solidified over time unless excessive stressors cause change. There are different dynamics present in different groups often leading to different outcomes.

2. Do you feel you share more in common with, or have more differences with the other members of your primary family, then your friends and other significant people in your life?

People are people. "I" am as human as everyone else (or not human) so fundamentally, we are capable of similar experience. Most behavior is arbitrary and memories tend to cloud experience so I would say I experience it all anew although sometimes there is a psychological bond estabished as a result of invested time so that is a factor. Overall, it's the same.

3. How much do you feel your upbringing and interactions with the other members of your primary family influence your behavior, values, and outlook on life?

The past determines the future. At the same time, one's biological foundations cause a strong push that almost makes me cry out determinism if I wasn't such a proponent of freedom... SO I will put it this qway, if you are a tyopical middle class type family, it won't make a large difference since statisctically, the deviation isn't large enough. For deviants and for extreme cases, the transactions and interactions mold values and paradigms. Hoever, in this day and age, this is more of a zeitgeist-type phenomenon even with those who think they are "free thinkers".

4. When in a relationship, how important do you think it is that your significant other's family be a group which you feel share your basic background and values? (not at all, somewhat, very, etc.)

Very. Most people want security and identity. This is best obtained by a sort of rigid traditionalism according to many people's ideas of stability. The shared experiences and values really make life easy, hoever this largely depends on psychic dynamics and interaction/empathy. Most of the things people think are important aren't worth a damn.

Cheers !

 

[glenn1]

do you perhaps have a background in psychology Linuxboy?

 

[Juniper]

1. Do you think people act closer to what their "true" character is when they around their primary family (mother/father, siblings, grandparents, etc.), or when they aren't?


--> I act closer to my true character when I am with people with whom I am very comfortable with. Immediate family like my mother/father/sister counts, cos she's known me my entire life. Others relatives/cousins not really. Actually I tend to act like the perfect daughter when I'm around those people.

2. Do you feel you share more in common with, or have more differences with the other members of your primary family, than your friends and other significant people in your life?

--> I have more common interests with my sister than with anybody else. My closest friends also share common points with me. I have the most disparity with my mother I think. But luckily she does not really oppose to what I like/do. (cool mum)


3. How much do you feel your upbringing and interactions with the other members of your primary family influence your behavior, values, and outlook on life?

--> Hmm, in many ways, I have blamed my family's values to have made me a person scared to lose to others. In asian families, its very common to think that the males are better at studies, sports, etc.. So it kinda sux that I was compared to my male cousins during family gatherings. Hence when I was young, the main motivation to study was not to get a good life when I get older, but just to show family that I could also do it, despite being female. Now Im trying to overcome that and find what I like to do with my life instead For this reason, I try not to live near any of my relatives. Its stressful.

4. When in a relationship, how important do you think it is that your significant other's family be a group which you feel share your basic background and values? (not at all, somewhat, very, etc.)

--> Hmm I have met my soon to be in laws, and I can say that they are a very close knit group, and very caring too. There is a lot of sharing, lots of laughter and they are very relax, and I really like it. Its kinda hard for me though, cos I'm scared that they do not accept me, since I cannot speak chinese etc. Heck, let's just give it a try Sharing the same values and background would make integrating with the group easier, but I guess its not really necessary if the group is not close minded.

 

[monk3y]

Bump for a really cool thread. Hopefully there'll be more responses.

 

[Jfur]

<<

1. Do you think people act closer to what their "true" character is when they around their primary family (mother/father, siblings, grandparents, etc.), or when they aren't?

aren't

2. Do you feel you share more in common with, or have more differences with the other members of your primary family, then your friends and other significant people in your life?

others

3. How much do you feel your upbringing and interactions with the other members of your primary family influence your behavior, values, and outlook on life?

a great deal, but in many cases by showing an example of what NOT to do

4. When in a relationship, how important do you think it is that your significant other's family be a group which you feel share your basic background and values? (not at all, somewhat, very, etc.)

not important at all

>>