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Family Bind....need help!

J

Jet343

Banned
Here's the deal. My sister is getting divorced with my brother-in-law. They have a daughter together and I lived with both of them before. Well She moved out and now It's going to be just me and the ex-in-law.

My sister asked me to move out with her just so she could get me away from the exinlaw. He can't afford to live on his own and has helped me a great deal in my life...more then any of my family members. He's still offering to help me by saying I will only pay 1/3 of the rent and will co-sign for me If I get a better car. My sister just tells me to stop being so dependent on people since I am an adult.

My sister has somebody else to move with and my exinlaw don't. She told me it would make her life harder if I got invovled with him more. I just don't see how. He was always nice to my sister and she just decided to get a divorce. He's one of those "Nice guys finish last" type of guys and she always just ran over him and took his money. It was one of those straight out of High School kind of reationships, so no surprise there.

Now I don't know what to do. I don't want my sister mad at me because she is the only one that has helped me out of my family. I don't have parents so it means a lot to me when someone helps.

But then again. My exinlaw makes a very tempting offer.
 
Whoa... that's one helluva choice! I'd go with the sister mainly because she's family, and considering you don't have parents, I'd definitely go with her
 
If you like the dude......... stick around. It only make things awkward for your sister......... she can live with it 😛

Cheers,
Aquaman
 
My advice is to move out. The guy is offering financial incentives for you to basically betray your sister. There are probably more issues involved with their divorce than you're aware of. Only rarely do people "just decide to get a divorce."

He can get another roommate if money is that tight.
 
You sister treatly this guy unfairly, used him and now wants to dump him? And she wants you to help ruin his life? While I normally believe that is is best to stick with family, on this occasion I cannot think that way.

He sounds like a nice guy, who has helped you and has treated you with nothing but niceness. I would recommend that you don't sh!t on him just cause your sister wants to.

🙂
 
I wouldn't be rushing to move, it was her choice to leave. Her argument is flawed as well as her life and the brother-n-laws will be very intertwined because of their child. I would plan on moving out eventually, but to me it looks like she is just trying to hurt the bro-law.
 
i would stay coz he is now just a good friend and as you should know good friends are
very hard to find. besides you guys are more than that. you sis will always be your sis, no loss.
 
Originally posted by: Jet343
Here's the deal. My sister is getting divorced with my brother-in-law. They have a daughter together and I lived with both of them before. Well She moved out and now It's going to be just me and the ex-in-law.

My sister asked me to move out with her just so she could get me away from the exinlaw. He can't afford to live on his own and has helped me a great deal in my life...more then any of my family members. He's still offering to help me by saying I will only pay 1/3 of the rent and will co-sign for me If I get a better car. My sister just tells me to stop being so dependent on people since I am an adult.

My sister has somebody else to move with and my exinlaw don't. She told me it would make her life harder if I got invovled with him more. I just don't see how. He was always nice to my sister and she just decided to get a divorce. He's one of those "Nice guys finish last" type of guys and she always just ran over him and took his money. It was one of those straight out of High School kind of reationships, so no surprise there.

Now I don't know what to do. I don't want my sister mad at me because she is the only one that has helped me out of my family. I don't have parents so it means a lot to me when someone helps.

But then again. My exinlaw makes a very tempting offer.
Click to expand...
That's sucks, will probably be the same for your niece as well 🙁
She told me it would make her life harder if I got invovled with him more.
Click to expand...
This shouldn't be true, your sister needs to maintain a good relationship with him for the sake of their daughter anyway, so you having a friendship with him shouldn't matter.

Financial considerations aside, I don't think it sounds like a bad idea for you to remain living with your BIL.

All this is assuming no history of abuse twd your sis/niece by him of course.
 
Normally I wouldn't suggest lying, but this is one case where it might be a good idea.

Tell your sister that you're going to move out, you've made other arrangements, but stay. If she says when, tell her your plans fell thru but you're working on it.

You actually WILL move out someday . . . into the old folks home, if nothing else.

Good luck. You'll need it.
 
If I were you and I HAD to make the choice I'd go with the sister just simply because she is blood family and nothing should come before that other than maybe a wife.

But maybe if you try and reason with your sister she will be more understanding.
 
"Family" doesnt mean loyalty. As the saying goes, no one will screw you worse then family.
My Family is a combination of actual family and friends. People who have proven to be loyal and trustworthy to me. And I return it. I'd side with the guy myself.
 
Tikes, sucks to be you. I went through a similar, yet nastier situation six years ago which did not end well. The best advice I can give you is, get out of the middle for the time being. Find a new roommate to live with.
 
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