I still have the answering machine that contains the final messages from my parents (mostly mom) in a safe place. I'll never part with it.
There's a pretty heartbreaking one from my dad about a week after my mom passed. I don't think I could ever listen to it again. I just know it's there.
The last "active" things I still have from them. Everything else is passive.
Never experienced this myself but it sounds rough. Be strong Mayne and if you need to, seek some help through counseling. It might help you work through this and come out the other side with a positive outlook.
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