Bozo Galora
Diamond Member
How To Destroy
Your Computer
Originally published in Australian Personal
Computer Magazine, January 1998.
Last updated 25/03/01.
Give Dan some money!
(and no-one gets hurt)
Search Dan's Data
Search WWW
Many computer users perform their
own hardware upgrades, and a
distressing number of these result in
insufficient damage to the system.
Destroying your own computer is
every user's right and is the pattern of
behaviour expected by the
manufacturers and, especially, repair
personnel, whose very livelihood is
put in peril by those users who
perversely persist in correctly
upgrading their equipment.
This article will explain to you, the
user, the most common ways by
which you can cause your computer
to cease to function. Follow the
instructions carefully and you will
shortly find yourself making
appropriate contributions to the
all-important service sector.
First, it is essential to be incorrectly
prepared.
When opening the case of your
computer, you will probably be
presented with a number of
hexagonal head Phillips-slotted
screws. These can be easily
removed with a Phillips screwdriver or
6mm nut driver, but using a flathead
screwdriver, especially one that is
slightly too big, maximises the chance
of the screwdriver slipping from the
screw head and smashing into one or
another of the computer's
connectors. Personal injury is also
possible, especially if excessive force
is used when turning a screw the
wrong way, but the object is to
damage the computer, not yourself.
If any components of your computer
are held in place with Pozidriv screws
(superficially similar to Phillips head
screws, but recognisable by the
cross scored on the screw-head at
45 degrees to the slots), use of a
Phillips head driver instead of the
squarer tipped Pozidriv gives the
maximum chance of reaming out the
screw head and, with luck, damaging
the driver as well.
When removing screws from the
back of an ordinary clone case,
ensure that you extract every screw in
sight, not just the ones around the
edge that actually hold the case on.
This will, with any luck, cause the
computer's power supply to fall off
inside the case and cause serious
damage, before you even have to take
off the lid.
Leaving one fastening screw still done
up in the corner and then attempting
to wrench off the case may cause
significant damage to the metalwork,
but this is generally easily bent back
into shape and not very expensive to
replace. You can do better.
Fortunately, there are a plethora of
computer case designs, and a
gratifying number are fiendishly
difficult to take apart and, especially,
reassemble. To maximise the chance
of damage, ignore any locking tabs
and slots, don't worry about pinching
cables in the case, and make sure
you push really hard.
When replacing screws, remember to
tighten everything as if the computer
were a major structural component of
the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Overtightening screws increases the
chance of reaming the heads, and the
extra frustration involved in removing
super-tight screws increases the
chance that someone will give up and
turn the machine over to a
professional. Use of an electric
screwdriver makes screw destruction
easy for anyone.
Use of computer cases as furniture is
an excellent way to obey your design
imperatives. Many PC cases are in
fact very strong, and so it's necessary
to balance large monitors, tabletops,
grand pianos and twelve foot fireproof
safes upon them to ensure rapid
destruction. Fortunately, the
pop-riveted construction of most
cases and their poor endurance
under lateral loads means that even
relatively small stresses can, over
time, cause sufficient structural creep
to snap a solidly attached
motherboard. Patience, and not
buying enough chairs, can be a virtue.
Static Is Your Friend
Continued:
here
Your Computer
Originally published in Australian Personal
Computer Magazine, January 1998.
Last updated 25/03/01.
Give Dan some money!
(and no-one gets hurt)
Search Dan's Data
Search WWW
Many computer users perform their
own hardware upgrades, and a
distressing number of these result in
insufficient damage to the system.
Destroying your own computer is
every user's right and is the pattern of
behaviour expected by the
manufacturers and, especially, repair
personnel, whose very livelihood is
put in peril by those users who
perversely persist in correctly
upgrading their equipment.
This article will explain to you, the
user, the most common ways by
which you can cause your computer
to cease to function. Follow the
instructions carefully and you will
shortly find yourself making
appropriate contributions to the
all-important service sector.
First, it is essential to be incorrectly
prepared.
When opening the case of your
computer, you will probably be
presented with a number of
hexagonal head Phillips-slotted
screws. These can be easily
removed with a Phillips screwdriver or
6mm nut driver, but using a flathead
screwdriver, especially one that is
slightly too big, maximises the chance
of the screwdriver slipping from the
screw head and smashing into one or
another of the computer's
connectors. Personal injury is also
possible, especially if excessive force
is used when turning a screw the
wrong way, but the object is to
damage the computer, not yourself.
If any components of your computer
are held in place with Pozidriv screws
(superficially similar to Phillips head
screws, but recognisable by the
cross scored on the screw-head at
45 degrees to the slots), use of a
Phillips head driver instead of the
squarer tipped Pozidriv gives the
maximum chance of reaming out the
screw head and, with luck, damaging
the driver as well.
When removing screws from the
back of an ordinary clone case,
ensure that you extract every screw in
sight, not just the ones around the
edge that actually hold the case on.
This will, with any luck, cause the
computer's power supply to fall off
inside the case and cause serious
damage, before you even have to take
off the lid.
Leaving one fastening screw still done
up in the corner and then attempting
to wrench off the case may cause
significant damage to the metalwork,
but this is generally easily bent back
into shape and not very expensive to
replace. You can do better.
Fortunately, there are a plethora of
computer case designs, and a
gratifying number are fiendishly
difficult to take apart and, especially,
reassemble. To maximise the chance
of damage, ignore any locking tabs
and slots, don't worry about pinching
cables in the case, and make sure
you push really hard.
When replacing screws, remember to
tighten everything as if the computer
were a major structural component of
the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Overtightening screws increases the
chance of reaming the heads, and the
extra frustration involved in removing
super-tight screws increases the
chance that someone will give up and
turn the machine over to a
professional. Use of an electric
screwdriver makes screw destruction
easy for anyone.
Use of computer cases as furniture is
an excellent way to obey your design
imperatives. Many PC cases are in
fact very strong, and so it's necessary
to balance large monitors, tabletops,
grand pianos and twelve foot fireproof
safes upon them to ensure rapid
destruction. Fortunately, the
pop-riveted construction of most
cases and their poor endurance
under lateral loads means that even
relatively small stresses can, over
time, cause sufficient structural creep
to snap a solidly attached
motherboard. Patience, and not
buying enough chairs, can be a virtue.
Static Is Your Friend
Continued:
here
