ex-gf (sorry, no pics) birthday coming up, would this be inapporpriate?

[dakata24]

rather not get into details, but i went out with this girl for alittle over 2 years.. broke up in december 2000/january 2001. reason we broke up was that i was a slacker and kept on making promises i didnt keep like getting a real job, etc... totaly my fault in the relationship. the last time i had contact with her was when she sent me a pretty nasty email (totally deserved it) about how i screwed everything up, and that we couldnt be friends (i tried calling her a whole bunch of times, but she never answered which is why she emailed me to stop). Also, a few months ago, i mailed her some pics from my camera that i neglected to get developed along with a letter basically blaming everyhting on me. no response..

well, her birthday is coming up toward the end of october, and ive been thinking about getting her something along with a bday card. and prolly some toys for her cats that i used to mess around with. part of me thinks i should just leave well enough alone and move on and forget.. but there's part of me (i guess im not over her or something) that would do anything in the world to be apart of her life again, even as a friend.

she pretty much stuck with me thru thick and thin during those 2+ years. she was the kindest/nicest person i know. i mean, a year into our relationship, i found out i had lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes). that's news that would scare alot of people away.. but not her, she stuck by me. she was even there when i had to goto the hospital cuz i had a super high fever due to the treatment. Also, because of my treatment, i got this puss filled legions on like 1/2 of my face. i thought she would freak out and not want to hang out with me. but she didnt care how i looked.

okay. i think im rambling on.. anyways, i was a major slacker and didnt get a job which i promised her a million times. and the last time i promised, she said if you break it, we break up.. that's what happened.. would appreciate your thoughts

 

[prodigy]

_This is an automated response_

pics?

 

[spanky]

just mail the card and cactus. and tell her sorry for being a prick.

 

[GL]

I'm sorry to say this but I think the best thing you can do for yourself is move on. It has been almost a year since you broke up. Your last communication with her was "nasty" and she explicitly said you could not be friends. Subsequent attempts by you to communicate with her have been met with no response. It's evident that she has moved on in her life without you. I've gone through a similar break-up as yours and I couldn't move on until I finally realized that the relationship was over - and had been for quite some time.

Still, if you absolutely insist on doing something for her, send a friendly, concise birthday card by mail. Don't mention how much you love her. Don't mention how much you miss her or how you have bettered yourself since the break-up the way she would have liked you to. A simple, to-the-point "Hope you have a happy birthday"-type greeting will do the trick. If there is any hope of some sort of relationship resuming, she will have to come to you - not the other way around. The birthday card is simply a nice invitation or reminder giving her an opportunity to do so.

 

[minendo]

<< just mail the card and cactus. and tell her sorry for being a prick. >>



nice.

id say send a card, but really dont go all out and get gifts.

 

[weezergirl]

u screwed it up.

it's obvious she wants nothing to do with u anymore. just leave her alone. i think that would be the best gift.

 

[spanky]

<< u screwed it up.

it's obvious she wants nothing to do with u anymore. just leave her alone. i think that would be the best gift. >>




dang...weezergirl dun mess around. no beating around the bush...she jumps right in!

uhh....what were we talking about again?

 

[weezergirl]

haha sorry. i was debating on hitting reply on that one. i did'nt mean to sound so harsh. don't listen to me!

 

[mchammer187]

i really would not try to be friends with her if you still "want" her it will suck major arse especially for you if she has a bf/dates

 

[krackato]

Well, if you've really, really changed, you might try to get in touch with her, but don't ruin her birthday. Perhaps a day after birthday rendevous or chance encounter (note: this could be taken as stalking which believe you me, you don't want to be acused of). Anyway, birthday present, flower, new clothes, new job, big apology, nice hug (don't cop a feel... actually, you'll never see her again, so cop a feel) and then you're gone.

This will only work if you've changed your life (ie: gotten a job that PAYS) or if you lost a lot of weight or had a sex change operation... Whatever. All that matters is that she thinks that her leaving you made you change because "she was the best thing that ever happened to you." Good luck.

Please note, I watch way too much tv and see way too many movies. Even in my fantasy world you've only got a 10% shot off interacting with this girl and feeling like it wasn't a mistake. We're not even talking about winning her back or becoming friends. We're talking a 5 minute conversation concluded with an apology and then you disappearing into the ether. In the real world, I'd put your chances at not regretting acting on your impulse at about 1%.

Move on with your life. She's gone. You blew it. There are worse things in life than losing the "nicest/kindest person in the entire world" because you were too lazy to get a job... although I can't think of any at the moment.

 

[DaLeroy]

LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!

Get over her, it's been a year now...the relationship is finished!

You even admit you screwed up, so don't screw it up anymore...she doesn't like ya, prolly never will anymore. It's life, there are plenty more fish in the sea

Seriously, send her NOTHING!!!