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ex called me last nite - diagnosed w/ cancer and needed a shoulder to cry on

F

Farbio

Diamond Member
just had to post/talk w/ someone a bit who's maybe gone through this....

my ex called me last nite, we talk relatively often, we both know we really care about each other, hell i'm still in love w/ her, but anyways, and told me she was diagnosed w/ ovarian cancer that morning. it didn't really sink into me at the moment, but she was upset and i calmed her down, let her vent, etc and all. i want to be there for her, but not sure if i can/should be.
the situation is a lil complex i guess, i don't want to get too involved, as she's seeing someone else somewhat seriously, but yet she calls and tells me she needs to talk to me cuz i'm 'her rock' (she got pretty sick once when we were dating). now i want to be there for her, but i don't want to get too emotionally involved again, which i'm afraid i would be. is it my place to be there? i know the new guy isn't the greatest, i mean he's nice and all, but i don't see him ever really being 'there' for her like she'll need. just a bit confused on all this.
anyways, so she was diagnosed w/ a biopsy and its apparently quite early in the stages, so it should be at least a relatively easy surgery/cure. she's terrified about possibly having kids, as she is huge on kids and is so looking forward to having a family one day, anyone know anything on this, as non of the ovarian cancer societies seem to mention this as a possibility, i mean one even says that you will lose at least one ovary and fallopian tube, if not full histerectomy and such, which seems pretty harsh for early treatment. i guess just need a bit of info perhaps from someone who's been through this a bit before.

thanks for your help and letting me vent🙂
 
My mother went through a histerectomy about 7 years ago. Everything worked out just fine. She'll never (obviously) have children again but it took care of the cancer. I am almost certain that your ex girlfriend will come out of this with zero problems.
 
I have never been put into this situation before so it is hard for me to comment, but I would try to not get too involved in this one..it could get messy, especially if the boyfriend starts seeing things in it thats doesn't exsist..could be bad for you.
I usually pretty hopeless with these sort of things..unfortunatly for me I am really Blokey, and I often just don't know how to deal with emotions.
 
Hold old are you and her? Just curious. I've still never had to deal with that sort of scenario with anyone.
 
im 25, she's 22, its been about a year since we were a couple and we talk pretty often, have traveled to see each other since breaking up, etc
 
Do YOURSELF a favor and maintain contact with her via the phone ONLY. Seeing her will only make it harder on yourself, you obviously still care about her, so being with her during this time of "need" will only give you false hope. This surgery is quite common, a lot of women have HPV which results in this condition, especially at her age.. She will be OK.
 
that is really horrible. she will more than likely be fine, but to have to deal with this issue while so young is heartbreaking. just hang in there.

on another note, its not so hot that she put you in this predicament. seems like you're giving her love, comfort, security, and you get, well... to talk to her. that's noble, put the other guy gets her devotion. do yourself a favor, and don't get anymore involved than being someone to talk to once a week.
 
Originally posted by: Farbio
just had to post/talk w/ someone a bit who's maybe gone through this....

my ex called me last nite, we talk relatively often, we both know we really care about each other, hell i'm still in love w/ her, but anyways, and told me she was diagnosed w/ ovarian cancer that morning. it didn't really sink into me at the moment, but she was upset and i calmed her down, let her vent, etc and all. i want to be there for her, but not sure if i can/should be.
the situation is a lil complex i guess, i don't want to get too involved, as she's seeing someone else somewhat seriously, but yet she calls and tells me she needs to talk to me cuz i'm 'her rock' (she got pretty sick once when we were dating). now i want to be there for her, but i don't want to get too emotionally involved again, which i'm afraid i would be. is it my place to be there? i know the new guy isn't the greatest, i mean he's nice and all, but i don't see him ever really being 'there' for her like she'll need. just a bit confused on all this.
anyways, so she was diagnosed w/ a biopsy and its apparently quite early in the stages, so it should be at least a relatively easy surgery/cure. she's terrified about possibly having kids, as she is huge on kids and is so looking forward to having a family one day, anyone know anything on this, as non of the ovarian cancer societies seem to mention this as a possibility, i mean one even says that you will lose at least one ovary and fallopian tube, if not full histerectomy and such, which seems pretty harsh for early treatment. i guess just need a bit of info perhaps from someone who's been through this a bit before.

thanks for your help and letting me vent🙂
Click to expand...

Let me guess she broke up with you.

This is typical of stupid women. They break up with the "good" guy and date the "bad" guy. It may sound heartless, but you will be investing your emotions into a women that isn't giving back equally. You want more she doesn't and she has been selfish keeping a relationship with you for a year knowing you want more. She should have made a clean break and let you move on with your life.

She should be calling her boyfriend to talk not you. I would make mention of this and wish her luck. You've got your life to lead and shouldn't be bogged down with people who aren't reciprocating emotionally (friends or lovers).

Good luck.
 
Situation sucks....... sorry to hear man....

However, where is her "serious BF" during all of this?

Does she want you back? Ex's are Ex's for a reason, your situation is kinda weird.
 
Tell her she may not have kids if they remove her ovaries but she will have her life which is the most important thing.

Good Luck,

Ausm
 
Originally posted by: Ausm
Tell her she may not have kids if they remove her ovaries but she will have her life which is the most important thing.

Good Luck,

Ausm
Click to expand...

That is true. Also, just be an ear and nothing more, you can provide hope and faith to her, but i would not breach the line...use your heart and common sense and you will be fine.

jC
 
My sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was about 17... Even though its typically an "older" person's type of cancer it seems younger people are getting it more and more. She had to go through hell and back (lots of chemo) but the cancer is gone and I believe she can still have kids.

Anyways best of luck in this situation.
 
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