Everybody tell me how you're doing

[thecoolnessrune]

Hey everybody. This may sound like a loaner / basement nerd sort of thing but I just want to hear how everyone is doing tonight. Only thing is I made a fail thread earlier. Other than that nothing. Life is lucky and great. I'm in my Senior year in college and have hardly any debt, and live pretty comfortably and have what I feel anyways, is a beautiful girlfriend.

But I can't shake the feeling tonight. It's overwhelming tonight. I dont know why. I'll regret posting this and feel embarrassed about it tomorrow.. It seems to come more and more often at nights. Some nights I feel like I might lose this battle but I always remember that I'd leave too much suffering behind for those I love.

I don't want to talk to anyone because I dont have any problems. I feel like the epitome of a little bitch and I dare say in my ignorance I would criticize anyone who told me they feel like I do with the circumstances I am in.

So remind me how I am so fortunate to be where I am. I came up and made something of myself and have never known brutal labor, or homelessness. I never knew starvation, in fact I'm definitely overweight (220 at 6'2).

Lately I have lost appetite but that's been a good thing. I go to the gym every day and do cardio for 30 minutes.

I will get this off of my chest because I feel like a horrible person. I went to the health department on campus because I felt terrible while on some weight loss pill I was trying. They asked me where I got all that caffeine and I told them a roommate put them in my coffee. I returned for a followup a few hours later to find a campus officer waiting for me and telling me I had to report it.. I lied.. It was all a lie.. I took those pills because I was getting to the point I didn't care what the weight cost me as long as it took it off. I feel like the one thing I had was people's respect. My dad always told me that was most important. Now they want me to get counseling and talk to someone about these problems. I don't have any problems! But I feel everyone's judgment even when they tell me they're just trying to help. I ruined trust and betrayed authority thats there for my safety.

And I have no problems. I have no issues and I'm disgusted with myself for feeling like this.. So remind me AT how fortunate I am. Tell me the *real* issues that some of you all are going through. Pour it out and I will listen quietly. I just want to force some scope of situation into this feeble mind. Then I'll disappear quietly to bed and pray that in the grand scheme of things I dont regret placing these words here.

Thanks guys.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

This may sound like a loaner... sort of thing but I just want to hear how everyone is doing tonight.

Broke.

 

[Skillet49]

Sorry things are difficult right now. I'm not sure if it helps to hear this or not, but maybe counseling is just more of a precautionary thing. They are just showing how much you mean to them. Things will get better.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Broke.

That sucks man I'm very fortunate to only have few thousand in current debt for the current semester and still several thousands liquid assets so that I'm still not really broke. Just every dollar is already earmarked..

 

[Imp]

Somewhat drunk and bitter. Just sat through a poorly planned, phony, and forced wedding that lasted 7 hours for me (it was still going on when I left).

Thank god for the open bar...

 

[Malak]

I'm poor, have no job, and should lose everything soon. But hey life goes on and there are certainly people with much worse problems than me that have lived on. So will I.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Somewhat drunk and bitter. Just sat through a poorly planned, phony, and forced wedding that lasted 7 hours for me (it was still going on when I left).

Thank god for the open bar...

Wow, that sounds bad for you and for the future couple.. Kind of wish there was an open bar somewhere.. I'd love a couple shots of Maker's Mark right now.

 

[xanis]

Somewhat drunk and bitter. Just sat through a poorly planned, phony, and forced wedding that lasted 7 hours for me (it was still going on when I left).

Thank god for the open bar...

same on the drunk and bitter part

otherwise, not too bad i guess. got an internship for this semester that I'm really excited about, so that's good.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Sorry things are difficult right now. I'm not sure if it helps to hear this or not, but maybe counseling is just more of a precautionary thing. They are just showing how much you mean to them. Things will get better.

Yeah, they had me take screenings which I should have lied about because I tested positive for depression but I can't have that because I have nothing to be depressed about dammit!

But you're right, in time I'll quietly curse ever posted this drivel and ask a mod to hide it for sake of my shattered dignity.

But for tonight the words seem to make sense.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

I'm poor, have no job, and should lose everything soon. But hey life goes on and there are certainly people with much worse problems than me that have lived on. So will I.

I'm pulling for you man :thumpsup:

 

[thecoolnessrune]

same on the drunk and bitter part

otherwise, not too bad i guess. got an internship for this semester that I'm really excited about, so that's good.

Congratulations on the internship! I got one too on the campus. I am worried to not meet expectations but that's just another menial hurdle to jump. Anytime I think I'm almost out of pep I find a few more percent to put in.

 

[xanis]

Congratulations on the internship! I got one too on the campus. I am worried to not meet expectations but that's just another menial hurdle to jump. Anytime I think I'm almost out of pep I find a few more percent to put in.

Thanks Yeah, meeting expectations was my main concern too. I figure that since I wanted it bad enough, I'll work hard enough to impress the boss and make a good experience.

 

[deadlyapp]

About to finish a 6 month internship where I was supposed to save enough money to not have to work for the last 6 months of school until I graduate, but I ended up blowing just about all of it (although I did pay off the little over 8k in debt I had accumulated). So in 3 weeks I'll have no job, have all my school bills to start paying again, and nearly nothing saved.

Reality is a bitch. Thankfully I have lots of possessions that I could easily sell to make a buck if it comes down to it, but I hate selling things I've worked my ass off to get and gotten great deals on, because I know I won't get those deals again.

<3 bawww threads.

 

[Jaiguru]

Let's see... my Mom and Dad got divorced 3 months after they found out she was pregnant with me. He moved all the way across the country and remarried. My mother, who got full custody of me and my brother, never did. I got to meet my father maybe 3 times my entire life. He died two years back from leukemia and left us nothing but a letter telling me and my brother that we were terrible sons for never going to visit him.

Recently, my mother has become an increasingly bad alcoholic. My brother is suicidal and a cocaine addict. And I've done nothing but distance myself from them over the past couple of years because I don't know how to handle either situation.

I know you weren't asking for a life story but you got it! Feel better now?

 

[thecoolnessrune]

About to finish a 6 month internship where I was supposed to save enough money to not have to work for the last 6 months of school until I graduate, but I ended up blowing just about all of it (although I did pay off the little over 8k in debt I had accumulated). So in 3 weeks I'll have no job, have all my school bills to start paying again, and nearly nothing saved.

Reality is a bitch. Thankfully I have lots of possessions that I could easily sell to make a buck if it comes down to it, but I hate selling things I've worked my ass off to get and gotten great deals on, because I know I won't get those deals again.

<3 bawww threads.

Wait, I'm the creator of one of those cheesy baww threads?! Am I attention-whoring.. I'm sorry guys, second fail thread in a row. FUCK This was a mistake!!

 

[Imp]

Honestly, I have zero debt, and have a stable/secure job, going back to get my masters, but have a lot of personal baggage.

Don't worry, people with families raking in 6/7 figures with families feel like you from time to time. Money, hot ass and prestige don't make/keep you happy.

 

[lxskllr]

Yeah, they had me take screenings which I should have lied about because I tested positive for depression but I can't have that because I have nothing to be depressed about dammit!

But you're right, in time I'll quietly curse ever posted this drivel and ask a mod to hide it for sake of my shattered dignity.

But for tonight the words seem to make sense.

Depression can be a chemical imbalance. There's a difference between depression, and being sad. You might not even feel sad, but still be depressed. I don't trust psych drugs, and I don't trust shrinks, but that might not be a bad way for you to go right now.

 

[olds]

6'2"/220# is over weight?
For what, a leprechaun?

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Depression can be a chemical imbalance. There's a difference between depression, and being sad. You might not even feel sad, but still be depressed. I don't trust psych drugs, and I don't trust shrinks, but that might not be a bad way for you to go right now.

I am not your avatar. The only issues I have are the ones I allow myself to have. I have the physical capacity to be 100% I just have to ask myself why I can't seem to kick the thoughts out of my mind at night. I sound like such a bitch. Time for drink. Yeah I know its bad but hell, it can't get much worse.

Thanks for the input though man.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

6'2"/220# is over weight?
For what, a leprechaun?

It is when you have the muscle mass I have. My BMI is 28.2 but I dare say its probably worse than that because I can do only around 400lbs with my legs but I dont think I even bench 100. I tore a muscle in my neck in kindergarten and its always been a bitch to deal with. But I guess some people will always make an excuse.

 

[thepd7]

Hey everybody. This may sound like a loaner / basement nerd sort of thing but I just want to hear how everyone is doing tonight. Only thing is I made a fail thread earlier. Other than that nothing. Life is lucky and great. I'm in my Senior year in college and have hardly any debt, and live pretty comfortably and have what I feel anyways, is a beautiful girlfriend.

But I can't shake the feeling tonight. It's overwhelming tonight. I dont know why. I'll regret posting this and feel embarrassed about it tomorrow.. It seems to come more and more often at nights. Some nights I feel like I might lose this battle but I always remember that I'd leave too much suffering behind for those I love.

I don't want to talk to anyone because I dont have any problems. I feel like the epitome of a little bitch and I dare say in my ignorance I would criticize anyone who told me they feel like I do with the circumstances I am in.

So remind me how I am so fortunate to be where I am. I came up and made something of myself and have never known brutal labor, or homelessness. I never knew starvation, in fact I'm definitely overweight (220 at 6'2).

Lately I have lost appetite but that's been a good thing. I go to the gym every day and do cardio for 30 minutes.

I will get this off of my chest because I feel like a horrible person. I went to the health department on campus because I felt terrible while on some weight loss pill I was trying. They asked me where I got all that caffeine and I told them a roommate put them in my coffee. I returned for a followup a few hours later to find a campus officer waiting for me and telling me I had to report it.. I lied.. It was all a lie.. I took those pills because I was getting to the point I didn't care what the weight cost me as long as it took it off. I feel like the one thing I had was people's respect. My dad always told me that was most important. Now they want me to get counseling and talk to someone about these problems. I don't have any problems! But I feel everyone's judgment even when they tell me they're just trying to help. I ruined trust and betrayed authority thats there for my safety.

And I have no problems. I have no issues and I'm disgusted with myself for feeling like this.. So remind me AT how fortunate I am. Tell me the *real* issues that some of you all are going through. Pour it out and I will listen quietly. I just want to force some scope of situation into this feeble mind. Then I'll disappear quietly to bed and pray that in the grand scheme of things I dont regret placing these words here.

Thanks guys.

Yeah, they had me take screenings which I should have lied about because I tested positive for depression but I can't have that because I have nothing to be depressed about dammit!

But you're right, in time I'll quietly curse ever posted this drivel and ask a mod to hide it for sake of my shattered dignity.

But for tonight the words seem to make sense.

Just because you have a good life doesn't mean you aren't or can't be depressed. Go see a counselor, have someone to talk to and work things out with. It will help a lot.

 

[deadlyapp]

It is when you have the muscle mass I have. My BMI is 28.2 but I dare say its probably worse than that because I can do only around 400lbs with my legs but I dont think I even bench 100. I tore a muscle in my neck in kindergarten and its always been a bitch to deal with. But I guess some people will always make an excuse.

Ah I didn't think about personal self image issues. I know i'm overweight, and I always try to do something about it but I have zero dedication to losing weight. I'll make excuses like "I went to bed late so I"ll sleep longer, I don't need to exercise before work", or well I didn't lift today but I'll make sure I lift tomorrow, etc etc. Shit like that. And I've been like this forever.

 

[HumblePie]

I'm in pain and on pain killers. About sums up my day.

 

[mizzou]

220 for 6'2'' is not overweight, if you carry it evenly around your body and have big shoulders and legs. but you need to be around maybe 210-200

Hey, you are fucking depressed! You don't need a psychologist to tell you that, or maybe you should.

I feel like that all the time, it's natural to get in a funk. Sometimes nothing you do will get you out of it.

I get depressed alot because I feel like a failure, a slave to the clock, and I always feel I'm smarter, more creative, and more energetic then those around me so it's depressing to "serve" people above you, when you need to be the serv'or.

Anyway, I decided to change my life drastically, no point in sitting around complaining of incompetency, I'm going to do what i need to do, and that is to better myself by either advancing education or employment, and if it means leaving my little safety cage of a life, so be it!

senior in college, those should be the best of times! Don't be ashamed to speak to a professional about these things, it may help you out.

EVERYONE SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION!!!!

 

[compbuilder00]

Life is good right now ... excited to get back to school for the beginning of my junior year, I have a semi decent job that helps pay for school and my shenanigans, and my big box of golf balls was delivered today !