Ever worry that your job may change you?

[Foxery]

Lately, my job is slowly turning into a more supervisory/compliance role that requires me to be much more critical of everything that comes across my desk. As a usually quiet person, this "power" has done wonders for my assertiveness and self-confidence, but I sometimes wonder if I'm becoming less patient and understanding in the process.

Plenty of people have stressful or frustrating jobs that wear them down, but I'm young, so this is somewhat new to me. I've always been good at clearing my mind at 5PM and relaxing at home, but it's getting harder.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good career move for me. I'm just curious how well other people deal with a difference between behavior and attitude required at work, vs the sort of person they are at home.

 

[antyler]

I have trouble not thinking about work when i get home. But thats probably just because i really cant stand my job. If you enjoy what your doing, taking work home with you shouldnt be a huge problem!

 

[FDF12389]

Sometimes that happens to me. I just have a beer and get out of the house and I'm usually fine.

 

[SpunkyJones]

I don't have an issue leaving work behind every day, by the time I leave the parking lot, I have the tunes blasting and I'm thinking of what to do with the kids when I get home. When I was younger I was more moody at home, thinking about the job, stressing about what I did or should have done, but now as an old fart, I've come to realize that worrying about work is useless, the problems will still be there in the morning either way. So don't worry, be happy@!

 

[Xavier434]

Leave your stresses from work at work. Learn to switch out of "work mode" faster. Do your best to make no exception.

IMO, if you are noticing that you bring the stress home too much or are becoming ridiculously fatigued then you either need to learn to control your stress better or find a job that is less stressful. Bringing that garbage home to your family is the last thing you should ever do. There is always another job out there which will make you enough money so you can provide for your family so if this is truly a problem then bite the bullet and start looking for that better job. Your family will appreciate it very much and you will find yourself a lot happier which is what this thing we call life is all about right?

When I applied this change to my life (which basically meant switching from a software developer in the commercial world to a software developer at a government job) I became more happy overnight than I have ever even come close to being able to succeed in doing with anything else. My daily family life is so much better.

 

[d33pt]

i try not to bring my work home. i dont even talk about it to my wife unless something funny or extraordinary happens.

 

[pontifex]

my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

 

[Exterous]

My job has changed me. Too long in retail has left me with a jaded view of humanity and its stupidness and I'm more of a jerk because of it. I am trying to get out but the economy in michigan is not helping

 

[Exterous]

Originally posted by: pontifex
my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

that too

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: Exterous

Originally posted by: pontifex
my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

that too

Please take this as a sincere question rather that some form of criticism or condescending remark. Explain to me why the two of you or anyone would choose to remain in a work environment which would change your personality like that and most likely makes you much less happy on a daily basis? What is it about those jobs which make people believe that the money, benefits, etc is more valuable?

Doesn't it seem very self destructive to you and shows a problem when it comes to priorities? This sort of thing is very common but it continues to baffle me.

 

[Descartes]

In my opinion, it's jobs that you leave at 5pm; it's careers that follow you home. The degree to which you are successful in the latter often relates directly to how willing you are to let it interfere with your life.

Some people are successful in compartmentalizing everything, but I've not known many. For me, it's about obtaining a balance and embracing the fact that work is just another aspect of my lifestyle. If I find that some aspect of it isn't working, then I make an effort to change it.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: Descartes
In my opinion, it's jobs that you leave at 5pm; it's careers that follow you home. The degree to which you are successful in the latter often relates directly to how willing you are to let it interfere with your life.

Some people are successful in compartmentalizing everything, but I've not known many. For me, it's about obtaining a balance and embracing the fact that work is just another aspect of my lifestyle. If I find that some aspect of it isn't working, then I make an effort to change it.

I find it to be a real shame that the degree many careers will push people these days in order to actually be successful is beyond the limit of the average person's control to not bring the stress of their jobs into other parts of their life. People work longer and harder hours than they used to and sometimes end up with less. Every case is different of course. This is not universal, but it is far more common than what I consider will make everyone (both rich and poor) the most happy.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: Exterous

Originally posted by: pontifex
my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

that too

Please take this as a sincere question rather that some form of criticism or condescending remark. Explain to me why the two of you or anyone would choose to remain in a work environment which would change your personality like that and most likely makes you much less happy on a daily basis? What is it about those jobs which make people believe that the money, benefits, etc is more valuable?

Doesn't it seem very self destructive to you and shows a problem when it comes to priorities? This sort of thing is very common but it continues to baffle me.

contrary to popular ATOT belief, it's not that easy to find a new job immediately

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: Exterous

Originally posted by: pontifex
my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

that too

Please take this as a sincere question rather that some form of criticism or condescending remark. Explain to me why the two of you or anyone would choose to remain in a work environment which would change your personality like that and most likely makes you much less happy on a daily basis? What is it about those jobs which make people believe that the money, benefits, etc is more valuable?

Doesn't it seem very self destructive to you and shows a problem when it comes to priorities? This sort of thing is very common but it continues to baffle me.

because as much as ATOT likes to think it is, it's not that easy to find a new job immediately

It took me over 2 years to finally find the job I have. All it takes is patience and dedication. 2 years is a drop in the bucket compared to the remainder of your life and how such a job can effect it. Considering that logic, I ask the same questions again.

 

[pontifex]

i can't go 2 years without a job
i don't make $100K a year like everyone else on ATOT.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: pontifex
i can't go 2 years without a job
i don't make $100K a year like everyone else on ATOT.

I worked shitty jobs during that time. You don't need to be without a job in order to actively pursue a better one.

 

[SpunkyJones]

Originally posted by: pontifex
i can't go 2 years without a job
i don't make $100K a year like everyone else on ATOT.

He's not saying quit your job, just that if it takes 2 years of job searching, it is worth it in the long run.

 

[pontifex]

that doesn't make sense. why work a bunch of shitty jobs while looking? why not just work the same shitty job while looking? seems like a waste of time and loss of stability to do that.
i've been looking for a new job since shortly after i got this one (3 years now). i don't think i'll fidn anything short of retail or fast food unless i go back to school.

 

[Cdubneeddeal]

I'm in the same boat as you. Recently (Two years ago) moved into a supervisory role that I've worked hard to get into. What it's done to me is to think of every situation with logic rather than emotion which has been difficult on personal relationships. Granted, my job is mostly good and very rewarding but I'm pretty much an asshole at this point.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: pontifex
that doesn't make sense. why work a bunch of shitty jobs while looking? why not just work the same shitty job while looking? seems like a waste of time and loss of stability to do that.
i've been looking for a new job since shortly after i got this one (3 years now). i don't think i'll fidn anything short of retail or fast food unless i go back to school.

The only reason is because what a job seems like during the interview may not be exactly what it turns out to be. For example, how many people out there do you think have been told that the expected amount of overtime is minimal and you should only really need to put some in if you fall behind in your work only to come and find out that they are putting in 50+ hours almost every week just like everyone else who works there? I am sure ATOT could provide enough different examples of experiences they have had with this sort of thing in the past to fill a book.

In order to bag that kick ass job, you got to leave your previous one which means you will always be taking a risk of it not turning out to be what you envisioned. As long as you play everything smart and don't give up you will eventually get that job though. The only thing which I would stress is that one should not switch jobs too terribly often because they do not want to make themselves look undesirable on their resume. Again, it takes time and patience. It is not easy, but it is well worth it.

 

[moshquerade]

i think it's more that advancement in life changes you.

 

[radioouman]

Originally posted by: pontifex
my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

lol.. same here.
I get calls in the evening and the weekends from managers who won't leave work at work. The only way to impress my manager is to stay until 8 or 9 PM. The company is able to only hire the scum at the bottom of the bucket, and therefore I have to put up with them all day long. (Yes, I know that the company hired me too. I should never have accepted.) The only thing that keeps me going here is that I am at 4 weeks of vacation now and I will have 5 weeks starting next year. Otherwise, it is difficult for me to get up in the morning, let alone drive into work. When I am away from this place, my mind starts going and I become that energetic person that I used to be, and sometimes I enter into that mood on the weekends too. But during the work week, my brain is wrapped around all of the stupid stuff that I have to do at work (nothing productive).

Let this be a lesson to you college students who are going into engineering...

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: pontifex
contrary to popular ATOT belief, it's not that easy to find a new job immediately

Finding A job, in my experience, takes less than a week, and in some cases less than a full day. The thing is, it probably won't pay well, and it will likely be some menial labor type of job. My best record for getting a job had me starting the evening of the day I visited the temp agency.

Temp agencies are used to dealing with high turnover. It's why they continue to exist.
Find a local temp agency, see if they have anything available in the area with an immediate start time. There should be something available. Or hell, see if Walmart's hiring. They pay more than minimum wage - I started at $8/hr, and after 2 years was making over $10/hr. If you can handle nightshift, go that route. There should be a shift differential, and you'll have fewer customers to deal with, none if it's not a Supercenter.


The money won't be great, but it's still more than nothing.

 

[Foxery]

Originally posted by: Descartes
Some people are successful in compartmentalizing everything, but I've not known many.

I'm very good at compartmentalizing. Part of that stems from the helpful fact that, much past 5PM, there's nothing more to be done because the whole office is shut down and vacant. I can usually let go of things when I can't change them, and fortunately, I can never wind up working late into the night because nothing can be done after we close.

Originally posted by: Cdubneeddeal
I'm in the same boat as you. Recently (Two years ago) moved into a supervisory role that I've worked hard to get into. What it's done to me is to think of every situation with logic rather than emotion which has been difficult on personal relationships.

That's exactly where I'm headed. Although, it did occur to me since my OP that I'm currently in limbo in a way - I'm not fully in the big chair quite yet, and still need approval from the boss. It's frustrating to be told to make decisions but still have to explain each one, so maybe this will improve when my new position fully goes into effect. I'll have the last word, and I'll at least feel more in control.

 

[BoomerD]

Originally posted by: pontifex
my job has made me a cynical, pessimistic, irritable bastard.

Yeah me too...and that was on my GOOD days.


It was always a fight to keep my work personality separate from my home personality. Often, I'd bring the horrible prick that I was at work, home with me...
That NEVER went over well with the family.

I'm a VERY demanding S.O.B., both at work and at home, but NEVER demand more of my co-workers or family than I demand of myself...in fact, usually, I demand MORE of myself.

However, how I deal with the daily demands of life is usually VERY different between work and home. (and when they get too similar, my wife lets me know.)