The essay is for the National Merit Competition - I'd appreciate any feedback, as well as any grammar corrections. Do you think its a decent essay, or should I write something totally different?
In your own words, descriibe your personal characteristics, accomplishments, primar interests, plans and goals. What sets you apart? Your essay of about 500 words should be typed on this form or computer printed and affixed with nonglare tape. Material exceeding this space cannot be used (the essay fits now, but if I try to make it more than one paragraph longer it won't)
Learning to be comfortable within a group of people who are not outwardly similar to oneself can be a very daunting task. As I have grown and matured, and been exposed to many diverse people and situations, I have been able to be comfortable within a group who is not outwardly similar to myself. It has taken me many years and many different situations to fully gain this talent. This is appropriate for the diverse world in which we live and I consider it to be one of my greatest assets.
One memorable encounter with people different from myself was my first day at the -----------. Although most of my classmates had previously gone to other area private schools like I had, I was one of the few Jewish students. Although ----- is a faith-based school influenced by the Episcopalian religion, the administration and the students were all very welcoming to those of other religions. The students and faculty enjoyed learning about my Judaism through my Hanukkah demonstrations and Passover treats. As I progressed through school, we often discussed our religious differences, and more importantly, our similarities.
The past summer, I worked full-time at a local movie theater. The first day I went to work proved to be very awkward. All of the other teenagers who were working with me were from poorer Hispanic families. At first, I was not sure exactly how to act; should I try to act like them or just act as I do around my school friends? I decided that it was not right to put forth a fake personality towards them; they would easily be able to see through my deception. Doing the first week of working together, I invited one of the other teenagers over to my house to go swimming after work. It was awkward at first, as he had never been to a neighborhood similar to mine, we quickly became good friends. Over the next few weeks, aided by my joking manner, I (and the other workers at the theater as well) became comfortable with our relatively minor differences and became good friends, making for an enlightening and fun summer.
My primary interest since I was around age five has been playing with computers. I love to explore different software and hardware, and enjoy reading reviews about recently released products. This helps to keep me abreast of what is going on currently in the technology sector. I also enjoy helping friends and other Internet users select the hardware and software to purchase based on my personal experience and other?s reviews.
My college goal is to pursue a double major in Computer Engineering and Business, or to earn a bachelors and a master?s degree in Computer Engineering. Then I plan to join the workforce, and eventually start my own company manufacturing computer products to help make other people?s lives simpler and easier.
In your own words, descriibe your personal characteristics, accomplishments, primar interests, plans and goals. What sets you apart? Your essay of about 500 words should be typed on this form or computer printed and affixed with nonglare tape. Material exceeding this space cannot be used (the essay fits now, but if I try to make it more than one paragraph longer it won't)
Learning to be comfortable within a group of people who are not outwardly similar to oneself can be a very daunting task. As I have grown and matured, and been exposed to many diverse people and situations, I have been able to be comfortable within a group who is not outwardly similar to myself. It has taken me many years and many different situations to fully gain this talent. This is appropriate for the diverse world in which we live and I consider it to be one of my greatest assets.
One memorable encounter with people different from myself was my first day at the -----------. Although most of my classmates had previously gone to other area private schools like I had, I was one of the few Jewish students. Although ----- is a faith-based school influenced by the Episcopalian religion, the administration and the students were all very welcoming to those of other religions. The students and faculty enjoyed learning about my Judaism through my Hanukkah demonstrations and Passover treats. As I progressed through school, we often discussed our religious differences, and more importantly, our similarities.
The past summer, I worked full-time at a local movie theater. The first day I went to work proved to be very awkward. All of the other teenagers who were working with me were from poorer Hispanic families. At first, I was not sure exactly how to act; should I try to act like them or just act as I do around my school friends? I decided that it was not right to put forth a fake personality towards them; they would easily be able to see through my deception. Doing the first week of working together, I invited one of the other teenagers over to my house to go swimming after work. It was awkward at first, as he had never been to a neighborhood similar to mine, we quickly became good friends. Over the next few weeks, aided by my joking manner, I (and the other workers at the theater as well) became comfortable with our relatively minor differences and became good friends, making for an enlightening and fun summer.
My primary interest since I was around age five has been playing with computers. I love to explore different software and hardware, and enjoy reading reviews about recently released products. This helps to keep me abreast of what is going on currently in the technology sector. I also enjoy helping friends and other Internet users select the hardware and software to purchase based on my personal experience and other?s reviews.
My college goal is to pursue a double major in Computer Engineering and Business, or to earn a bachelors and a master?s degree in Computer Engineering. Then I plan to join the workforce, and eventually start my own company manufacturing computer products to help make other people?s lives simpler and easier.
Facebook
Twitter