ESPN Sports Nation: Roast your rivals

[MaxDepth]

Das Linky

Who do you hate? Who do you love to laugh at?

It's Rivalry Week at SportsNation, a.k.a. College Football Land. And we know that bad blood runs deep on and off the gridiron. Michigan's maize and blue clash violently with Ohio State's scarlet and gray. Alabama's Crimson Tide and Auburn's Tigers are like oil and water. The Trojans and Bruins share a city, but not a lot of love. And those are hardly the only big rivalries in the nation.

We are looking for the best joke about your detested enemy. Take your best shot at the archrival's running back, or their student body, or their mascot or even their band. We don't care, as long as it's funny. Try to make it as tailored to your rival as possible. Don't give us a joke that can be used on any team. Be creative! Be specific!

Use the mailform below to send us your joke. Have fun. Roast your rival!


Well, it seems that they'll probably take the best insults and post them without coughing up some schwag for the winners. Cheap bastards.

But still, if you're an attention whore, you'll be able to google yourself in one more place. (Well, that sounded nasty.)



I'll start off with local team, Duke, who plays rival UNC this weekend (for the toilet bowl, I guess

), so...
"Carolina players are both pitiful and stupid. They don't know what a P-A-T is, much less know how to spell it."

And I can't decide which is better:
Separated at birth?
or,
Separated at birth?
:Q

 

[hopeless879]

In the mid-seventies, the Buckeyes and Wolverines were both undefeated and playing for the Big Ten Championship, the Rose Bowl and a possible National Championship.

The Buckeyes are up by 4 points with 3 seconds left. Michigan has a 4th and goal at the Buckeye 1 yard line. Bo Schembechler looks up to the skies and says "God, what should I call now?".

To his surprise, in a clear distinct voice, he hears "Off Tackle". So, Bo calls the "Off Tackle", and all eleven Buckeyes meet him in the backfield, and bury him and the Buckeyes win.

Bo, again, looks up to the sky and says "God, why did you tell me to run "Off Tackle.

Again, in a clear voice he hears, "I don't know, why did we Woody?"

 

[hopeless879]

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day. Each was from a different Big Ten school and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Boilermaker hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for Purdue!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Wildcat threw himself off the mountain proclaiming "This is for Northwestern!"

Seeing this the Buckeye walked over and shouted "This is for everyone!!" and pushed the Wolverine off the side of the mountain.