Escaping the friend zone - a sweet L&R P&N story

[shira]

I spend a lot more time on P&N than L&R, so P&N it is:

A little background:

For the uninitiated, the "Ladder Theory" of relationships is that a guy who is really, really understanding and really, really supportive to a woman he secretly desires will soon find himself placed firmly on the "friend ladder" (= "in the friend zone") - one of Dante's unnamed circles of hell - from which there is very little chance of escape.

The actual theory:

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Very occasionally, an adventurous soul actually succeeds in a ladder jump, and that is the heart-warming reason for this thread:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...AR2010040201371.html?hpid=features1&hpv=local

An excerpt:

The next day Okun [= guy], who works in commercial real estate, hopped on a New York-bound bus to see a Billy Joel concert with Hayman [= girl]. It was a mercilessly hot night, so they drank beer and sat one seat apart. Halfway through the show, Okun turned to her and said: "Why not us? We should date."

"And as soon as he said that, I had this wave of panic," Hayman recalls. "It's this huge silver platter: 'Here's a life and future and a husband and a best friend -- everything.' I kinda felt as though it was too good to be true. I was really scared -- my prayers had never been answered so quickly."

She deflected the question until the next morning when she said, "I don't know if I can do this." The rest of the weekend was spent sidestepping the issue until Okun got on a bus back to Washington. After hugging him goodbye, she was gripped with the thought that she might've "just let the perfect guy walk out the door."

Hayman was petrified that this, one of the most important relationships in her life, would be contaminated if a romance between them didn't work out. Still, she called him that night to say, "Let's give it a shot."

Two weeks later she traveled to Washington, but dragged her feet before going to his house to see him. "At this point I'm just really nervous," she recalls. They fumbled through a couple of awkward hours together before he pulled her in for a kiss.

" 'If we make it past two weeks we're going to get married,' " Okun told her. "There was no doubt in my mind. Basically if we could get past the intimate side and feel comfortable there, how would this not work?"

Things felt strange to Hayman for a few days as she adjusted to Okun acting more like a boyfriend than a friend. "You have to reprogram your brain to think a certain way. 'We're sitting on the couch -- now I sit right next to you. We're walking down the street. Do I have to hold your hand?' " she says. "Everything becomes a conscious thought."

But it became comfortable quickly. And when Hayman realized how much she missed Okun during an August trip to Florida, she knew she "was ready to move forward with this."

Wrong Forum

Anandtech Admin
Red Dawn

 

[theflyingpig]

:awe:

 

[shira]

:awe:

She's a tad better looking that he is. Lucky guy.

 

[herkulease]

but for every successful jump, there are thousands that fall into the abyss.

 

[JSt0rm]

lets see where they are in 10 years lol

 

[lothar]

For every successful jump, there are thousands that fall into the abyss.

This.

 

[ShawnD1]

She's a tad better looking that he is. Lucky guy.

Maybe he gives really good head. Wait. What?