I could imagine the boardroom discussion late last year:
"Smith, I want you to go around and order all incriminating documentation be shredded."
"Ok."
"Johnson, I want you to go around and encourage every employee to buy stock now."
"Got it."
"Jones, I want you to visit our people in DC and see if they can get us out of this mess."
"Done."
"Baxter, I want you to cash out and kill yourself."
"What????"
"We need a scapegoat. CAN'T YOU EVEN FOLLOW SIMPLE ORDERS? You *do* want a good performance appraisal next year, don't you?"